Friday, March 25, 2011

Clean Digs and Dirty Sex

It’s Friiiiiiiiday Chuckleheads and Schmoop took the day off thus I will be engaged in various and sundry sexual activities so let’s make this short and sweet, just like my wee wee.

I picked Schmoop up from work yesterday and on the way home I thought a ginormous bug hit the windshield…

Let me tell you, it was no bug. It was…

Jesus!!


Yep, we drove all the way home with my buddy Jesus looking straight into my eyes as he was pressed against the windshield.

While it was a bit of an impairment to my field of vision, never have I felt so safe while driving amongst the retards here in Bagwine, Ohio.

Praise Jeebus!!

Last night Jayman and I put another award winning installment of I’m With Stupid in the can as we and our vast audience discussed sex in public places.

The sex show lasted 45 minutes but seemed like a mere two minutes long, which is appropriate as that is in indirect proportion to my own personal sexcapades.

Anyhoo it was fun, and you can listen to the show by utilizing this handy dandy BTR player:



I hope you give it a listen as it will help to keep I’m With Stupid near the top of the ratings, as it should be.

Also, if you listen, you’ll get to hear this uber-hot babe call in and talk about her wacky paramoural activities…

Gotta love The Rat, she’s allllll that!!

I must get up and clean the digs and then get down and dirty with Schmoop.

Happy Friday, Bitches, and as always…

Cheers!!

13 comments:

Raquel's World said...

I guess you need one of those bumper stickers that say "Jesus is my co-pilot". I know you have seen them.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Ha. Yeah. I'm just glad the Holy Baby Jeebus didn't get sucked into the engine. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Anonymous said...

That baby Jeebus sure gets around these days- he is everywhere it seems.

David said...

That was me - I'm not really Mr Anonymous.

Matt-Man said...

David: Oh he does alright and I have set an extensive itenerary for him. I hope I don't wear him out. Cheers David and thanks for listening!!

Jay said...

I would probably rather have Desert Rat riding around with me than the Baby Jesus. But, that's just me.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Even better...Rat, Schmoop, AND Jesus riding around with me. What a Holy experience THAT would be. Cheers Funny Man!!

Lu' said...

I wonder if Jeebus did splat on your windshield if he would leave a Jeebus looking slpat, you know the kind you could sell on ebay :)
Have a good weekend Matty.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: He left nary a mark on the windshield but he did leave a deep and profound mark on my soul. Have a good one too, Pal!!

Ena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Desert Rat said...

I. am. going. to. hunt. you. down.
Please tell me I didn't actually send you that picture. I did, didn't I? Aaaaeeeiiiiii!

You're gonna NEED Jeebus as your co-pilot if I'm in the car!

Hi Schmoop!

Mike said...

Hey, we all now know that Rat has a belly button!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Ha... Yes. You sent a couple of years ago. Hell I've posted it before. It's hottttttt. And if you are the car that strikes me, strike me hard. Cheers and thanks for calling in, Lovely One!!

Mike: And it is gorgeous. Cheers and thanks for listening, funny man!!