Thursday, March 24, 2011

Havin' Fun with Jesus

Even though my smoke-free Lent fell through, the Messiah and I are still pretty tight. In fact...

He agreed to once in awhile appear in zany situations on the pages of Bagwine Ruminations through Lent.

So with that being said, let's have fun with Jesus!!

Are you facing death within hours or even minutes and you have led a life of sin and debauchery which will certainly cast you into the caustic fire pits of Hell?

No worries, my terminal reprobate. Pick up some Jiffy Jesus!!

That's right. Just place Jiffy Jesus in the microwave and in sixty seconds or less you'll be experiencing the sweet taste of Salvation!! Jiffy Jesus...When Heaven can't wait!!

Is your demise less than imminent and you prefer to soak in the love of the Lord at a slower pace?

No problem folks, try Crockpot Jesus!!

Toss Crockpot Jesus into the crock, set on low, and the heavenly aroma of the mercy of Jesus will fill your house, and your soul for hours. Crockpot Jesus...it's what's for dinner!!

Thanks for helping out J-C. And now...


Tonight at 11 PM EDT on I'm with Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, Jayman and I are getting raw, naked, and talking SEX!!

That's right...We will be talking about all the sex we have ever had, especially those less than typical sexcapades such as car sex...pool sex...barnyard sex.

Let me tell you, we are going to dripping in sex tonight and we want you to drip with us.

Listen in and even better, call-in with your sex stories. You can access our radio page by clicking HERE.


And if you can't listen because you will be having sex during the show, call us at 661.244.9852 we'd love to listen in.

This is going to be a huge show. So big in fact, that hours before she died, Elizabeth Taylor did a promo for the I'm with Stupid sex show:



(if the button does not work, click: twaud.io)

Thanks Liz, and to all of you, I hope to see you on the radio tonight.

Cheers!!

15 comments:

Michele said...

And, I so wanted you to make it. Please reassure me that you have cut back on the smoking.

At least you didn't go for blender Jesus.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Well I didn't make it, but I'm sure I will at some point. And let me say...

Blender Jesus is a great idea. I may have to borrow that. Cheers Michele!!

MysteryChick said...

I may have to invest in a Crock-pot Jesus. Lord knows I could use some slow-simmering salvation!

Have a good show tonight. If my eyelids aren't sealed shut by 11 I'll try to swing on by because Lord also knows I won't be having any sex then!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: I'm with you on the slow-simmering salvation, and I hope you can be there tonight because it would be nice to have a hard on while discussing sex. Cheers Chick!!

David said...

Oh wow - not only microwave Jeebus but also blender Jeebus. I'm mesmerized about the opportunities of Jeebus and appliances. I have my parent's 1950's waffle iron but I just can't imagine squashing him. I think I will place him at the top of the handle of my vacuum cleaner since cleanliness is next to godliness. Right????

Knight said...

Oh sweet Jebus I hope I'm home in time for tonight's show. I need fresh ideas!

Matt-Man said...

David: Ah, more good ideas. Love the vacuum reasoning. Cheers David!!

Knight: And it goes without saying that Jay and I hope you are home in time as well. Purrrrr. Cheers Knight!!

Jay said...

Jesus is always up for a good time. That's what makes him such a great buddy.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: He's a blast, and always keeps my wine glass full. Cheers Jay!!

Beth said...

Tonite, before the show, in the all, in front of Little Jimmy Stewart's door. Be there.

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Woo Hoo...That'll be hot. Little Jimmy Stewart will never be the same...of course, that might be for the best. Cheers and Zoooooves Schmoop!!

Anonymous said...

I've seen you naked and it ain't pretty.

Crazy sex - Katie and her crooked..

Mike said...

Elizabeth Taylor never seemed to get older. Did her initials have anything to do with that?

Raquel's World said...

How bout toasty Jesus (in the toaster) for when you are good and toasty...Irish Wine toasty that is.

Matt-Man said...

Anonymous: Ha. Very Good and now, go smoke a cigar "Katie." Cheers!!

MIke: Ha. God you're a mess. Cheers Mike!!

Raquel: Good idea but our toaster isn't a wide slot. I don't think he'd fit. Cheers Hot Stuff!!