Thursday, May 05, 2011

Matt-of-All-Trades

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all my Mexican friends and thank you for defeating the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. 

Those Gallic Gonad Munchers deserved it, because…well…they just did!!

Anyhoo…

I’ve mentioned before, perhaps not on here, that if I could find an additional job that pays one or two hundred extra bucks a week, Schmoop and I would feel "rich."

I mean things are okay, but there is no extra money for pizza on a whim or spontaneous stuff like that.

Also, there are a couple of people I’d like to pay off. Fortunately, they are related to me and none of them are named Guido.

So, hearing a comment from a friend of mine, I had an epiphany about a second job that not only can I handle on my own, but one at which I can, and do excel.

I am going to offer my services as a house cleaner, landscaper, yard guy, and cook.

Damn right!!

Hell, for the older folks, I’ll even be a courier for groceries, picking up prescriptions, and all around friend and Guy Friday.

The possibilities are endless. I mean, c’mon…

I’m a great cook…I’m an extremely talented landscape/yard guy…I actually like to clean, and most importantly…I am charming and sweet!!

What’s not to like? Nothing, that’s what!!

I think I am on to something and at some point on Thursday, I am going to start advertising on Facebook, and get the word of mouth ad campaign going.

I even have a name picked out for my nascent, little business…

Matt-of-All-Trades!!

I am so excited and the taste of success is palpable.

Let me tell you folks…my ability to be the jack of all trades and master of none, has become my ace in the hole and I hold the winning hand.

It’s time for me to cash in those chips.

Once again, Happy Cinco de Mayo, and as always…

Cheers!!

15 comments:

Jay said...

This could be a monster idea. I mean, as long as the Mexican Mafia doesn't come after you for taking landscaping jobs away. But, other than that, you could make a fortune.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Exactly. As for the Mexican Mafia? Why do you think I launched this on Cinco de Mayo and expressed my love for all things Mexican? Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

You could even be a boy toy for some lonely octogenarian.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: True, but seriously...As far as that goes, I draw the line at septugenarians. Cheers Mike!!

David said...

And for the MILF clientele, shall we assume your household duties will be performed in the nude with an eye to increasing your tip income?

If so, be careful, some of those wicked gals can really pinch sensitive places...don't ask how I know that, just trust me, it's true.

Matt-Man said...

David: Seriously, if I want a tip, I'll remained clothed. My cleaning is much more solid than my body. Cheers David!!

Michele said...

My first thought when I read this line; "I’m a great cook…I’m an extremely talented landscape/yard guy…I actually like to clean, and most importantly…I am charming and sweet!!" was, Are you gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

My second thought was; damn I wish you lived in Houston.

JR was worried that your cigarettes would blow up the old folk oxygen tanks.

We could use a few extra bucks around here also. So I've conned the Public History dept into paying me to teach a graduate course in Digital History. Am I good or what?

Good luck with this endeavor.

Beth said...

I think this is a wonderful idea! You'd be fantastic;)

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. Schmoop calls me "gay" frequently. I'm used to it. And tell JR to rest assured that I'll extinguish my smokes prior to entering geriatric environs.

That is way cool about the class you'll be teaching. You are one crafty librarian. Cheers Michele!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Thanks, but since I am not one to bring my work home with me. don't expect me to clean and cook here any longer. Cheers and Zooooooves!!

Beth said...

Whaaaa?????

Joker_SATX said...

I think that's a great idea Matt! You are indeed a man of many talents. The Cash should be rolling in, in no time flat!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Okaaaaaaay. I will for you. Cheers, Zoooooves, and warm up your Merry Widow!!

Joker: Thanks and I think it's a brilliant idea in its simplicity. I'd be doing things that technology can't replace to a great degree. Cheers Joker!!

Knight said...

I don't really need any yard work done. I handle that on my own. I will give you $100 to wear cut off short shorts and do my laundry for me.

Matt-Man said...

Knight: Deal!! And even after driving or flying there the profit loss would still be worth it. Cheers Knight!!