Sunday morning while Schmoop and I enjoy a post-coital smoke...
Schmoop: Wow…I’m impressed.
Me: With what? My always incredible sexual skills?
Schmoop: No. I’m impressed that I can still get my legs up that high and wide.
Talking to my son Ryno and his Mom on Mother’s Day outside of the Beer Mine…
Mom: See the beautiful bracelet our son bought me?
Me: That’s very nice. That’s very pretty Ryno, good job.
Ryno: You know what isn’t very pretty?
Ryno: YOUR FACE…
Ryno and Me: Hee Hee Hee Hee…
At the Beer Mine Monday night, as some underage punk is pleading with me to sell him beer…
Punk: C’mon sell me a Four Loco, man.
Me: I need to see an ID…man.
Punk: You sold one to my friend earlier when I was with him.
Me: I know. Your friend is 21.
Punk: My dad is a cop. You should have carded us both when you sold it to him.
Me: That doesn’t make any sense. If you want one, show me an ID.
Punk: I’m 21.
Me: ID or get lost.
Punk: Here… (shows me his ID)
Me: You’re only 20.
Punk: But tonight, I’m 21 (wink wink) right?
Me: Ummmmm, no…now move along sonny.
Punk: Don’t you think that if I am old enough to join the Army, I should be able to buy a beer?
Me: No…not when you’re an asshole. Now get out of here.
Punk: You’re a jerk.
Me: Ha. I know, but guess what? I’m old enough to drink. Hee Hee. Now get out of here.
50 year old or so Female Customer who saw and heard the end of the exchange: Ha Ha Ha Ha, Well done.
Me: Ha. Thanks!!
Ahhhhhhhhh, I love that shit. Now…
In case you missed I’m With Stupid this past Saturday on Blog Talk Radio, you can listen to it in archives by utilizing this handy dandy BTR machine:
We talked Kentucky Derby, Mother’s Day and a whole bunch of other stuff.
In spite of NBC and Time Warner trying to keep us down, we persevered with some funny stuff so listen if and when you can…please.
I shall be gone much of the day, so I will catch you all when I can. Have a wonderful Tuesday, and as always…