Jarts, Bouncy Houses, and Ponies: The Past, Present, and Future of Togetherness

When I was much younger, we used to have family cookouts quite often. I know, right? My fucked up family? Well, believe it or not, we actually used to like each other. Go figure.

Of course back then, I was too young to drink, which when one is surrounded by a bunch of drunks, sucks!!

I should note that my sister and her husband were not drunk. They…er…I mean she would walk around everyone with her self-righteous air that was form fitting.

But, it was still fun. Hell, we’d cook dogs, burgers, whatever. Play Jarts. The real Jarts with the pre-class action lawsuit, it’s all to protect the cheeeldren, metal tips.

We would have a Jarts championship every cookout, and my brother Steve usually won….evidently good weed is conducive to accurate Jart tossing.

We would also have a family photo. I still can’t figure out why one was men only and the other women and children. Hell, sometimes only the men got their picture taken. Just a weird tradition, I guess.

Alas, the cookout days are over and done now. Mom and Dad are gone, and to be honest, none of us like each other very much, or perhaps…we just don’t care.

M’eh, no skin off my butt.

Now though, I go somewhere else when I want a huge, colossal, drunken, game playing holiday cookout. Whewww, that was a mouthful!!

Whenever Matt-Man can drag me out of the house (once a year at best), we go to his brother Marty’s 4th of July Party. 

They don’t call him Party Marty for nothing, and calling his shindig an, “Extravaganza” is a complete understatement.

Marty and his beautiful wife don’t just throw parties, oh no…These parties are over the top, circus-like, fan fucking tastic!! And…

I am attending one this Sunday.

There won’t be any yard Jarts; however, there will be the following:

A Nacho Machine, a cotton candy machine, corn hole, a Family Olympics with prizes no less, wonderful food out the hoo ha, a river of potent potables, a live band, and dig it, one of those motherfucking, inflatable bouncy houses, plus...

Enough fireworks to make Bagwine, Ohio light up like the sky over Tripoli. Ha!!

Now remember, if you have ever read Matt’s posts about his brother’s house, this place has a pond and room for a pony…or eight.
I haven’t actually seen a pony yet, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if I did.

I’m sure that there are other things that go along with this party, but that’s all I can remember. 

Marty and his wife are the nicest, sweetest people on the planet, and they love throwing parties like this.

Normally, I balk at going to huge things like this. I’m not very social, actually I’m quite awkward in these setting until I’m there for awhile, and there is the fact that Matt’s family is half the population of Bagwine…Ha!! Kidding!! Sort of, but…

This time? I’m kinda looking forward to it. Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe I’m becoming more of a people person.

Nah…

It’s because of the inflatable bouncy house, and the thought that there might be ponies.

Zoooooves!!