Monday, June 13, 2011

Reel Me In, Cuz My Mind Is Streamin'

Hi All, Schmoop here, and it’s Stream of Consciousness Monday!

To take a trademark line from the Jayman, Hola Bitches!!

I just had a guy walk by my window.

A guy…that looked just like Richie Valens. Unbelievable. I thought the poor bastard was dead.

Have you ever gone to buy makeup, and can’t find the right color for your skin tone? Come with me to the Kroger store my friend, and talk to the Cover Girl foundation.

“Where is the pasty white girl color?” Then, I find it, and the color is…

“Why Bother?”

Why do men have no backfat?

Hey!! Don’t stick that there while I’m typing, you goof.


I do have booty shorts on, but what is the point if I still have a muffin top? By the way…what is a muffin top? 

I don’t eat muffins. I eat ice cream.

That guy really did look like Richie Valens. Pinky swear.

We had four taco supremes, and four burrito supremes for dinner Saturday. Guess who ate the most? (not Matt)

Did I mention the backfat? By the way, that is indeed one word. I have deemed it so.

My fat ass cat is almost eleven years old. She is the prettiest, most intelligent, (ha) fluffiest kitteh in the world. Until she bites…me, and only me.

I bought a “Swiffer” dust thingy today. Know why? Because kitteh is shedding like a mofo, and it is everywhere! The computer looks like Bigfoot.

Alright…I’m drunk, and done. Thanks for hanging in wif me. 

And don’t forget…

Matt and Jayman are broadcasting another award winning installment of I’m With Stupid at 11 AM EDT Monday on Blog Talk Radio.

They are going to preview Monday night’s GOP debate in New Hampshire and try to tie up the ever continuing fallout over Weinergate.

So join Jayman and Matt-Man Monday at 11 AM EDT on I’m With Stupid for, “No One Died, When Weiner Lied.”

To access their radio page and join in on the fun, click HERE.

Have a wonderful Monday you pretty people, you, and don’t forget about Matt-Man’s big announcement one week from today.



Jay said...

When Ritchie walked by the window did call you "Donna?" Then did he wave at you and say "Come On, Let's Go?"

Also, Mmmmmmmm .... Taco Bell

Mike said...

When Jay dies I'm taking over 'Hola Bitches'.

Beth said...

Jay: Ha! No, but I did start singing La Bamaba!

Mike: No you're not mister, that is mine;)

Matt-Man said...

I dunno...Pasty white looks good on you. Well, until you start losing blood during your monthly uterine shedding and then you look downright corpse-like. Cheers Schmoop!!

Beth said...

Matt: Um...thanks?

MysteryChick said...

I prefer to think of our pasty white skin as fairest of them all! Glow in the dark white would be another apt description.

I see ninja's out my window fairly frequently but never anyone who looks like Ritchie Valens.

Beth said...

Chick: I soooo agree about the glow in the dark skin! Ninjas? Wow, you are so lucky! Richie Valens was a fluke, usually it's just a wino.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

You are the second person that said I look like Richie cool!

Beth said...

Vinny: I didn't know Richie Valens was Italian. Are you stalking me again??