Tuesday, June 14, 2011

There's No Crying At Work

So…

Here I am sitting at work. Bored to death. It’s summer, and my industry is really slow now that schools are out.

I’ve done what I can today…I drank enough coffee to float the fuck out of here, and…

I found my boss’s keys, as well as my boss himself. Three times. Oy, and bleah.

What to do? What to do? Oh I know, write a blog post!!

Does this seem wrong to anyone? 

I mean, I am stealing company time, but in all actuality, I’m still technically working, right? 

Since Matt-Man doesn’t pay me for this, shouldn’t someone?

In all honesty, I’ve been here a long time and pretty much do what I want anyway…as long as the important stuff gets done, that is.

What I’d really like to do is work from home, where the only keys I have to find are my own. Where I don’t have to answer to someone else or talk someone off the ledge. 

That happens more times than I care to admit.

A place where I can drink. My damn boss still refuses to install a wet bar here. 

Of course, alcohol might be a deterrent if I was doing something really important…you know, like transcribing and/or interpreting medical records.

“Whoopsy!! Sorry, Mr. Jones, you were supposed to have a tonsillectomy, not an anal probing. I apologize.”

Yeah…Not sure that I could have a home office with beer. Now working without pants? Boy Howdy, I am soooo there. But…they don’t let me do that here either.

Where the hell are my motherfucking perks? Mayb---Oh gotta go…My boss lost the deposit bag…AGAIN!! 

Anyhoo…

Listen to the I’m With Stupid show that took place yesterday.

 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Jay and Matt-Man may not be bright, but they know their politics and in their own minds, are well hung.

Don’t forget…Big announcement by Matty-Boy six days from now…He better get his lazy ass into gear.

Zoooooves!!

22 comments:

David said...

OMG - you get the opportunity to fail to talk someone down off the ledge? SWEET

Jay said...

Working from home while pantsless is my dream. It just doesn't look like it'll ever happen. Now, I'm gonna drink some more and cry myself to sleep. ;-)

Mike said...

As long as you get your 5 productive hours in that's all that counts.

Beth said...

David: Yes, I am living the dream. Jealous?

Jay: Well, when I get that gig, I'll hire you. We'll be pantless together;)

Mike: I have to do five hours? Hmmm, I'll have to think about this.

Matt-Man said...

I've worked there. I really don't think there is anyone who is worthy of being talked off the ledge. Cheers Schmoop!!

Beth said...

Matt: You know what, you're right. Ok fuckfaces, just go ahead and jump, I won't stop you!

Matt-Man said...

I hope you feel better now, and I am glad to have helped. Cheers Schmoop!!

Beth said...

Matt: Thank you, I do;)

Raquel's World said...

I agree. I like how you parlayed your blogging into your work schedule so you can technically be a "paid blogger". I do it too. And my boss knows.

Beth said...

Raquel: Ha! Great minds think alike!. My boss doesn't know. I just distract him with something shiny.

Michele said...

My life long dream job has been one where I am paid to breath. You know, I do that about a billion times a day and someone should pay me for it!

I probably come as close to anyone in having THE dream job. I get to work with old stuff, take one day a week to work for home (pantsless of course) and travel all over the place talking about what I do or actually what I get my staff to do. How much does that rock?

Beth said...

Michele: Your job totally rocks! Now if you only ate meat;)

Joker_SATX said...

Wet Bar at work...now there's an idea!

Beth said...

Joker: I've been working on this for over 10 years. I do not understand his aversion to letting me have one. Notice I said me? As in me only? That could be the problem;)

Knight said...

I'm pretty sure you and I have the same job. Do you get to help your boss find their children as well? That's a disturbing game.

I like when the rare day comes when I'm the only one in the office. Then it's pants off party!

Beth said...

Knight: Luckily his kids are "grown" so no I don't have to do that. I'm just waiting for "Can you help me find my teeth?"

Knight said...

Hah! Teeth is followed by, can you check my diaper and see if I need to be changed?

Desert Rat said...

So, does that mean you are also responding to comments at work? Sweet!

Don't be jealous, but I'm sitting at my computer in my pajamas - just confirming some data for a project in the field tomorrow. When I *do* go to the office, there is beer in the fridge. I love my job.

On the downside, since Steve is ALSO in the field, I have to do my own cooking AND clean the toilet! Argh!

Beth said...

Rat: Jealous? Me? Damn right I'm jealous missy. Beer in the fridge too?? Hell for all that I'd even cook and clean the toilets.

Beth said...

Rat: Oh and yes, I am answering comments at work;)

MysteryChick said...

I work from home frequently in the winter, pantsless, it rocks but I don't have a good enough work ethic to keep out of the beer and get shit done so most days I go to the office so I can keep collecting that necessary paycheck.

Beth said...

Chick: Yea, I think that would be me too. Not enough "won't power".