Friday, June 03, 2011

Schmoop Says: It's Wedding Season, So Be a Friend, and Hunt Down Anyone Thinking of Getting Married!!

Unless you (like many people in Bagwine) have been shit-faced since Memorial Day Weekend, you know that we are three days into the month of June. 

And besides schools letting out, D-Day (that’s another post), and Flag Day, what else does June bring with it?

That’s right, you pretty people. The 2011 Wedding Season!! Oh…Dear…God!!

Who in their right mind would want to get married? I think marriage is stupid with a capital “M”. What? Anyhoo. Here’s why…

Point #1: You have to pay for it. Weddings are ungodly costly both monetarily, and costly emotionally due to spending time with friends and family you don’t really like to begin with.

Point #2: If you love one another, why is a piece of paper important? That temptation of a binding legal agreement is like telling someone you love: “Go ahead, I dare you!!” 

Why would anyone scare and dare someone they love into submission?

Point #3: Joint Banking Accounts. Oh I don’t fucking think so…

Point #4: Even without the joint banking accounts, one or both will be paying for it the rest of their lives. I watch Mahone pay reparations every week. Half in money, Half in guilt. (Hey!! That was pretty good, Hee!!)

Y’know…

Far too often, married people seem to become one entity. Suddenly, one can’t do anything without the other. Things that were brushed aside and didn’t matter, suddenly seem to matter to the nth degree.

When single, or even living together, many couples seem to still be able to be individuals, with their own identities intact. 

Once that paper gets signed, filed, and laid upon the court records, minds get skewed and people get screwed.

And now, on a shinier note…

Jayman and Matt-Man will be doing another installment of I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio Saturday at 6:30 PM EDT. And guess what they will be discussing, boys and girls? Uh-Huh…

Weddings and Marriage!!

I guess they are going to compare and contrast the benefits of being single, marrying, or merely shacking up.

I’m sure they will make fun of marriage in their own...

(Damn, my ass still looks fine--->)

juvenile, yet endearing way.

I hear that Jayman has secured a new marriage-related sponsor for the show, and Matt-Man will be talking about all the omens and portents that he missed, or more likely ignored, before being betrothed some 24 years ago.

All of that and your phone calls at 661.244.9852 on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, this Saturday night at 6:30 PM EDT.

You can access the I’m With Stupid Radio page by clicking HERE.

Have an I DO free weekend, pretty people.

Zoooooooves!!

10 comments:

Mike said...

'suddenly seem to matter to the nth degree'

Since when?

Beth said...

Mike: Well, obviously, I wasn't talking about you;)

Michele said...

I guess it all depends on who you marry. I have all the independence I want with all the benefits of a long-term companion. Our successes or failures are not measured by each other. Mostly, we are best friends. We don't brush 'things' aside. We deal with them like adults. In fact, I think what makes marriage or any long-term relationship (with the piece of paper or not) work is mutual respect and you just like each other as people.

Beth said...

Michele: I see your point. Maybe I've just witnessed so many shitty marriages, that I never wanted to have that.

Matt-Man said...

Will you marry me? Cheers Schmoop!!

Beth said...

Matt: Ha! Nooooo!!!! Love you babe!!

Jay said...

The great thing about just shacking up with someone is that you always have the option of running away with some dude from Arkansas. Right Schmoop? ;-)

Beth said...

Jay: You know it hot stuff;)~

Joker_SATX said...

My GOD Beth...you are perfect! Every man's dream! You tell it like it should be....

Beth said...

Joker: Ha! Thank you kind sir. I guess I just never understood all the hoopla of marriage. Leaves me cold.