Johnny's Angels

Who will protect and move this nation forward if John McCain is elected?

Who will keep our waving grain, amber…our majestic mountains purple, our skies spacious?

For all that is good and wholesome about this country, this task will be carried by a terrific trio full of estrogen, soon to be known as, Johnny’s Angels.

On the left we have up and coming conservative Sarah Palin. Johnny Mac’s, Vice…President.

Sarah is fresh off an 18 month stint as Governor and commander of the Alaska National Guard, being tested by the crucible fires that are the Mayoral duties of Wasilla, Alaska, and the grind of being the President of her local PTA…

This vixen can do it all.

She has no hesitation sending guard troops out to restore order to squabbles between fishing villages.

She has wrestled with whether her citizens needed another traffic light.

Sarah knew the exact baking powder to baking soda ratio during that impressive School District Bake Sale of ‘91.

The bitch gots skillz, and she not afraid to use them. Villains Beware!! She’s got Johnny Mac’s back, and a fine one herself.

In the middle, is Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio). She may not be well known, but that seems to be a trend with the Mac Man. Jean is the comic relief of the group…

Always putting her foot in her mouth, nearly losing her seat to a Democrat in a district that is ginormously Republican, and, well, just not a pleasant person to look at or deal with.

Just by her sheer will and hate, she keeps enemies at bay.

Jean Scmidt…Congresswoman, Marathon Runner, Crazy Person. A certifiable triple threat.

On the right, is of course, Condi Rice. The brains of the trio, and well, as far as high ranking government officials go, a Double Token.

Her biggest strength is her self-confidence. She is so confident that even though she could afford it, she refuses to have someone fix her hair or work on her freaky teeth.

She has nukes at her diplomatic disposal and she ain’t afraid to use them. So what if she is gay, is that so wrong?

And then, there is Johnny Mac himself...The unseen leader of his, "Johnny's Angels".

Much like John Forsythe before him, he's just a a voice on a 3 A.M. phone call.

But being the accomplished man that he is, John McCain can color his hair and perform the role of David Doyle as, Bosley. I knew that McCain's Bell's Palsy would come in handy some day.

Y'know...I kid about this, but the fact is, that John "Straight Talk" McCain is showing that he no longer talks straight. He said once that Barack Obama would lose the war in Iraq in order to win an election.

I don't think that's true, but I do know something that is...

By McCain's pick for VP, he has shown that he would gladly put the nation at risk should he win, and unfortunately die in office, if it means he can win this election.

There are many, more qualified women from whom he could have chosen...Kay Bailey Hutchison, Christy Todd-Whitman, and Bea Arthur among others.

In fact, if he wanted to pick perhaps the most qualified female candidate to be his running mate he could have picked his longtime girlfriend from Connecticut...

Sen. Joe Lieberman.

Have a great Labor Day weekend, all. I am off to Cleveland for a funeral. I'll be in touch as soon as I can.

Cheers!!