Bipolar Hilarity

Now that I’m over my little tantrum about work, for now, we’ll move on. Thank you all for your “suggestions”.

I really don’t have much, I’ve been super busy not pushing “certain” people in front of buses. That’s hard work, yo!

Randomness will commence.

What the hell is up with the MDA? No Jerry Lewis this year? Just because he was going to retire after this year? 

So they say he can’t even sing whatever that song is that he sings? 

Also, only six hours this year? 

God, I do love the question mark.

He’s been doing this shit for 45 fucking years! Couldn’t they at least wait until he was dead?

Shit. I gotta watch that…

See, Matt-Man and my brother swear I killed Lee Marvin. All I said when we were talking about his movies, was that I thought he was dead. Well, he was…two days later.

If I had that kind of power, no one would be left! I’m not God people. Just God-like, Jeez.

I think I might be bipolar. So low, and angry yesterday, and so happy, and high today. Hmmmm…could also be PMS I suppose. What are you looking at? Are you judging me? Gee, you’re pretty ;)

Note to self…buy more beer.

That’s all I got. Have a good one pretty people, or you know, don’t.

One more thing, I may have been born at night, but it sure as fuck wasn’t last night.

Keep that in mind.

Damn, you’re all pretty. You suck!

Zooooves!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: The 2009 Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon...Let's Kick It!!

It’s that time of year…

Tonight marks the beginning of the 3,000th Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon for MDA. Damn right, it’s been 3,000 times and don’t tell me it hasn’t.

There’s no Dean Martin…there’s no Ed McMahon. There’s only Jerry, Tony Orlando, and a bunch of crippled kids.

And Norm Crosby…

Yes folks, Mr. Malapropism hizzelf, Norm Crosby is still alive. I just Googled his existence. And, if Norm was coherent today, he would say, “I represent that Google.” Oy Vay.

I hate the Jerry Lewis Telethon…and don’t get me wrong…not because of what he has been tirelessly trying to accomplish over the years.

I hate it because it is such bad TV. Holy Cow….I’ve seen better entertainment on Public Access. Hell, I’ve seen better entertainment on some of my You Tube videos!!

Jerry Lewis, in spite of his advanced years and drooling needs to come into the internets age. Let’s get jiggy with it slobber boy.

This is the age of reality TV…A song by a sexagenarian Peaches and Herb isn’t going to bring in too many muffin tops for the lump stumps.

You need to kick it, Jerr. And kick it up BIG!!

Let’s have a huge wooden crucifix on your Las Vegas stage and nail that naked, religiously discriminated against Carrie Prejean to it.

Ha…what a hoot that would be. We could have little Timmy in a wheelchair and Larry King at his desk beneath it.

Larry could say, “Hello Bangor Maine…You’re on live with devoid Timmy, drooling Jerry, and the just about to be nailed Carrie Prejean. As for me? I just crapped in my pants…again. What’s your donation.?”

We could have Bill O’Reilly on and he could say to America, “If you don’t contribute to the MDA fund, the terrorists win.”

And, we could do a segment whereby if we don’t get two million dollars in two minutes, Bill ‘O tosses a crippled kid out of his wheelchair and eats his heart.

Good times…good times.

We could also have President Obama call in and ask for donations.

Okay…maybe not…We don’t want people thinking they are being indoctrinated or being forced into socialized medicine.

Yeah, let's scratch the Obama thing…but leave the O’Reilly and Prejean idea, okay?

Amen, and Amen...

I’m working 11-7 today…

If you are cooking out today think of me. I’ll be sweating, trying to catch a glimpse of some boobies, and carding every mutha-fuckah who comes through the Beer Mine.

Cheers!!