Yes indeed. Super Happy Hole-ly Jeebus Week™ continues. And today?
It’s the Last Supper for Jeebus and his posse.
They all sat down to eat after Jeebus, who has a foot fetish, washed their feet. In fact…
J-Man’s nickname among the group was not Lord. It wasn’t Teacher. It wasn’t Master...
Jeebus preferred to be referred to as, “The Big Toe.”
Freaky, no? I guess he was thinking twelve apostles make a foot, and he was the leader.
Anyway, they all sat down to eat. Jeebus passed around bread and wine and told them that it symbolized his body and blood, and they should eat him and drink him.
Thus, the celebration of the Eucharist was born.
Unbeknownst to the Apostles, Mary Magadalene was ‘neath the dinner table between J-Man’s legs, performing…um…a more literal celebration of the Eucharist.
After they ate, Jeebus went out into the Garden of Gethsemane and wept and prayed, and prayed and wept...
Jeebus was weeping not because he knew that he was going to die tomorrow, but because he knew he had just received his last blow job.
Just then, Judas came out and kissed Jeebus in an act of betrayal, signaling him to be the Messiah to the Roman soldiers.
Jeebus dried his tears, looked at Judas and said…
“And here all along, I thought it was John who made up the 8.3% of the gay Apostolic community. LOL.”
With that being done, Jeebus was arrested.
The twelve Apostles were angry. As angry as angry could be. And, it was Matthew who cried out to God…
“Holy Crap!! Our last supper together was a piece of un-fucking-leavened bread? Someone trumpet out for pizza, god dammit!!”
His anger was echoed by John who lisped…
“Jeesthus, Mary, and Joesthuph…I shaved my legs for this!?”
Not a good ending to the night for anyone involved.
Well, except for Mary Magdalene who, sitting in the corner of the room, was well satisfied and puffing on a cigarette.
And there you have it folks…The events leading up to the death of the Holy Baby Jeebus. And tomorrow we shall watch his march to the cross.
But to improve the mood a bit...Here is me singing a Bagwine classic, Nazarean Dandy…
Cheers!!
