Online Dating: Men Seeking the Fallopian Tubes of the Internets

Our Bagwine retrospective of the last four years continues today.

My selflessness has often compelled me to use my site for the greater good. On October 25, 2006, I allowed my blog to be used by single guys who were desperately seeking well, any chick they could get...

Pizza Man In Search of Pie…

Hi Ladies. My name is Dave I’m 28, clean, courteous, and work in the kitchen at Pizza Hut. I am looking for a saucy woman who can make my dough rise. I’m into bowling, tractor pulls, and being your backdoor buddy.

I have seniority, so I’m free on the weekends. If you’re a female between the ages of 20-60, who is looking for some extra sausage, call me and I’ll deliver. Please, no extra larges.

If Dave makes you “hunger”, type in: DeepDish69 and leave your message.

M.B.A. Looking for G.A.L.…

My name is Myron, but hopefully some lovely girl will soon be calling me “My-man” LOL. I am an accountant for the city of Centerville, and let me tell you, I play by the numbers!! LOL.

If you are looking for someone with whom to share a picnic , a hayride, or even a feisty game of checkers, let me king you!! LOL.

I am a Caucasian male, 5’9”, and weigh 123 lbs. My eyes are hazel, and my hair is an off shade of ginger. It’s getting cooler out, let’s share some hot chocolate!! LOL.

If you want Myron to “audit” you, type in: Abacus1040A and leave your message.

Public Servant Seeks Oval Orifice…

My name is George, and I’m what you call a long tall Texan, baby. I is a pubic servant when I’m not out tapping dry oil fields or laying waste to goddamn innocent, yet well-deserving countries.

I’d like to find a babe who is fine with just sitting around drinking a few cold ones and gnawin’ on some Mister Saltys.

What I do is hard work and sometimes involves, "eps-see-ah-nahjjj." Turns ya on, don’t it. I may not be the brightest, but I’m the baddest SOB you’ll ever meet. Bring it on, baby!!

Want to raise George’s pole number? type in: CrotchRocketOne and leave your message.

Huddled Mass Seeks Helpful Miss…

I am newly arrival from the Republic of Turdministan. My name called Bendel Gobo. I am six summers shy of my 40th autumn.

I am happy to taste the fruits of US woman. I would like to meet woman who is goodly ample with breastesses. Also one who claims food and drink to share.

I fix things around hovel to make spic and span. My looks are good. I am what you call “stud-biscuit”. Let us get together and make date. My tuberculosis is improved much lot.

If you would like to “assimilate” Bendel, type in: HoboGobo and leave your message.

Devoted Son Seeks Blonde Beauty…

I am a shy but loving Motel keeper. When I am not doing my Motel duties, I take care of my elderly mother. After all, a boy’s best friend is his mother!! I don’t set a fancy table, but it’s always homey. : )

I am searching for an attractive young woman to spend the evenings with and possibly a lifetime. Blonde hair a plus!!

I hate the smell of dampness…It’s such a, I don’t know...creepy smell. But yet, I really enjoy getting rough with a young lady in the shower. ; )~~

I hope you’re out there for me and mother. You won’t be sorry, because I am caring and I guess I have one of those faces you can’t help believing.

If you want to “reserve” this man, type in: Stormin’Norman1960 and leave a message.

As far as I know, these guys are all still available, and...well, I am off today, so I am available between the hours of 7 A.M. and 4 P.M. if you'd like to hook up with me before Schmoop gets home.

Cheers!!