Online Dating: Men Seeking the Fallopian Tubes of the Internets

Our Bagwine retrospective of the last four years continues today.

My selflessness has often compelled me to use my site for the greater good. On October 25, 2006, I allowed my blog to be used by single guys who were desperately seeking well, any chick they could get...

Pizza Man In Search of Pie…

Hi Ladies. My name is Dave I’m 28, clean, courteous, and work in the kitchen at Pizza Hut. I am looking for a saucy woman who can make my dough rise. I’m into bowling, tractor pulls, and being your backdoor buddy.

I have seniority, so I’m free on the weekends. If you’re a female between the ages of 20-60, who is looking for some extra sausage, call me and I’ll deliver. Please, no extra larges.

If Dave makes you “hunger”, type in: DeepDish69 and leave your message.

M.B.A. Looking for G.A.L.…

My name is Myron, but hopefully some lovely girl will soon be calling me “My-man” LOL. I am an accountant for the city of Centerville, and let me tell you, I play by the numbers!! LOL.

If you are looking for someone with whom to share a picnic , a hayride, or even a feisty game of checkers, let me king you!! LOL.

I am a Caucasian male, 5’9”, and weigh 123 lbs. My eyes are hazel, and my hair is an off shade of ginger. It’s getting cooler out, let’s share some hot chocolate!! LOL.

If you want Myron to “audit” you, type in: Abacus1040A and leave your message.

Public Servant Seeks Oval Orifice…

My name is George, and I’m what you call a long tall Texan, baby. I is a pubic servant when I’m not out tapping dry oil fields or laying waste to goddamn innocent, yet well-deserving countries.

I’d like to find a babe who is fine with just sitting around drinking a few cold ones and gnawin’ on some Mister Saltys.

What I do is hard work and sometimes involves, "eps-see-ah-nahjjj." Turns ya on, don’t it. I may not be the brightest, but I’m the baddest SOB you’ll ever meet. Bring it on, baby!!

Want to raise George’s pole number? type in: CrotchRocketOne and leave your message.

Huddled Mass Seeks Helpful Miss…

I am newly arrival from the Republic of Turdministan. My name called Bendel Gobo. I am six summers shy of my 40th autumn.

I am happy to taste the fruits of US woman. I would like to meet woman who is goodly ample with breastesses. Also one who claims food and drink to share.

I fix things around hovel to make spic and span. My looks are good. I am what you call “stud-biscuit”. Let us get together and make date. My tuberculosis is improved much lot.

If you would like to “assimilate” Bendel, type in: HoboGobo and leave your message.

Devoted Son Seeks Blonde Beauty…

I am a shy but loving Motel keeper. When I am not doing my Motel duties, I take care of my elderly mother. After all, a boy’s best friend is his mother!! I don’t set a fancy table, but it’s always homey. : )

I am searching for an attractive young woman to spend the evenings with and possibly a lifetime. Blonde hair a plus!!

I hate the smell of dampness…It’s such a, I don’t know...creepy smell. But yet, I really enjoy getting rough with a young lady in the shower. ; )~~

I hope you’re out there for me and mother. You won’t be sorry, because I am caring and I guess I have one of those faces you can’t help believing.

If you want to “reserve” this man, type in: Stormin’Norman1960 and leave a message.

As far as I know, these guys are all still available, and...well, I am off today, so I am available between the hours of 7 A.M. and 4 P.M. if you'd like to hook up with me before Schmoop gets home.

Cheers!!

Make A Bagwine Loooove Connection

Just in time for the Holidays, Bagwine Ruminations is here to once again allow the public to place their personals on this site. Don’t spend this joyous time of year alone. If these folks don’t light your candle, you can always click here to see the original. Good Luck, love seekers.

Snow White Looking for Her Gingerbread Man

Hi my name is Shannon. I’m a 34 year old sex kitten with green eyes and black hair. I am looking for a man who can fill a big stocking, and deck my walls. Fellas, I do like milk with my cookies, but I’d prefer to have a big mug of Hot Chocolate. I’m not looking for a LTR, I just want to spend the holidays being someone’s HO HO HO. If I sound tasty to you, let’s get together and unwrap each other. ; )

Want to exchange gifts with Shannon? Type In: “OOilyNite34” and leave a message.


Bad Boy Seeks Snow Angel

Yo Dudettes. I am a 24 year old snowboarder lookin’ to lay my half pipe between your moguls. Why spend Christmas alone when we could hook up and do a little naked caroling. Wanna hear me perform “I Came Inside You at Midnight Dear”? My Yule Log is achin’ to be stoked, baby, come be my bellows. Peace Out, Bonzai Rick.

Wanna Ride Rick’s Board? Type In: “12InchesOfRickmas” and leave a message.


Lost Her Seat Needs a Treat

Who would like to have their chestnuts roasted by a hot sexy 49 year old legislatress? I have plenty of free time on my hands and I have a craving for some dangling chad. I am an experienced lover. I even screwed Vice-President Gore back in 2000 ; ) C’mon baby, c’mere and canvass my precinct. Yeah, right there, mmmmmmm.

Would You Like to Caucus with this Vixen? Type In: “FloorWhore38” and leave a message.

English Teacher Wants to Instruct You

My names is Susan, I’m 34, and I teech 8th grade English at a juneyer high school in Bexley, WV. Nothing says Christmas like a goode spankin. I want too spank you four being bad, and then use your back as a chockboard so I can run my nales acrost it. Make sure you have a sharp pencil, cuz if you make the Honor Role, I’ll let ya stick it in my cubby whole. The bell’z ringin, don’t be lait.

Been Bad and Need Detention? Type In: “Bruisin’SusanIQ24” and leave a message.

Holy Man Seeking Harlots

Praise the Lord and pass the massage oil. I am looking for a woman with which to celebrate the birth of the Baby Jesus by filling her with the spirit of my Holy Post. Folks call me Rod, but Bow staff would be more accurate. If you have a need for seed, spread your legs as I ride you like a fattened calf. I will unleash the carnal redemption that burns deep within your soul, as you scream, “God I am Coming”. All that I ask of you is that you reward the Almighty with a love gift of $25.00 or more. In Jesus’ name, Boo Yah!!

Want to Be Screwed Over by a Man of God? Type In: “Matthew_7:15” and leave a message.

I love helping folks out during the holidays. It fills my heart and soul with joy; however, the Matt-Man needs your help too. Pastor Rod Parsley’s Miracle healing broadcast is Monday night December 4th. Please click on the link below to send an e-mail to Pastor Rod, and tell him to pray for the soul of Matt-Man from Bagwine Ruminations. After you do, leave me a note through e-mail or on this site that you have done so.

The Matt-Man’s salvation is in your hands, visit and e-mail Pastor Rod HERE.

Cheers…

Make The Bagwine Connection

I have in the past offered advice to Wild Irish Rose drinkers. Today I am offering a new service. For all of you lonely hearts out there, here is our first edition of Bagwine Connections: Real People Seeking Real Love. Today five great guys in search of their soulmate, or at least some hot sex…Ladies, here is today’s smorgasbord of lust.


Pizza Man In Search of Pie…

Hi Ladies. My name is Dave I’m 28, clean, courteous, and work in the kitchen at Pizza Hut. I am looking for a saucy woman who can make my dough rise. I’m into bowling, bingo, and being your backdoor buddy. I have seniority, so I’m free on the weekends. If you’re a female between the ages of 20-60, who is looking for some extra sausage, call me and I’ll deliver. Please, no extra larges.

If Dave makes you “hunger”, type in: DeepDish69 and leave your message.


M.B.A. Looking for G.A.L.…

My name is Myron, but hopefully some lovely girl will soon be calling me “My-man” LOL. I am an accountant for the city of Centerville, and let me tell you, I play by the numbers!! LOL. If you are looking for someone to share a picnic with, a hayride, or even a feisty game of checkers, let me king you!! LOL. I am a Caucasian male, 5’9”, and weigh 123 lbs. My eyes are hazel, and my hair is an off shade of ginger. It’s getting cooler out, let’s share some hot chocolate!! LOL.

If you want Myron to “audit” you, type in: Abacus1040A and leave your message.

Public Servant Seeks Oval Orifice…

My name is George, and I’m what you call a long tall Texan, baby. I is a pubic servant when I’m not out tapping dry oil fields or laying waste to goddamn innocent, yet well-deserving countries. I’d like to find a babe who is fine with just sitting around drinking a few cold ones and gnawin’ on some Mister Saltys. What I do is hard work and sometimes involves eps-see-ah-nahjjj. Turns ya on, don’t it. I may not be the brightest, but I’m the baddest SOB you’ll ever meet. Bring it on, baby!!

Want to raise George’s pole number? type in: CrotchRocketOne and leave your message.

Huddled Mass Seeks Helpful Miss…

I am newly arrival from the Republic of Turdministan. My name called Bendel Gobo. I am six summers shy of my 40th autumn. I am happy to experience the fruits of US woman. I would like to meet woman who is goodly ample with breastesses. Also one who claims food and drink to share. I can fix things around hovel to make spic and span. My looks are good. I am what you call “stud-biscuit”. Let us get together and make date. My tuberculosis has improved much lot.

If you would like to “assimilate” Bendel, type in: HoboGobo and leave your message.

Devoted Son Seeks Blonde Beauty…

I am a shy but loving Motel keeper. When I am not doing my Motel duties, I take care of my elderly mother. After all, a boy’s best friend is his mother!! I don’t set a fancy table, but it’s always homey. : ) I am searching for an attractive young woman to spend the evenings with and possibly a lifetime. Blonde hair a plus!! I hate the smell of dampness…It’s such a, I don’t know creepy smell. But yet I really enjoy getting rough with a young lady in the shower. ; )~~ I hope you’re out there for me and mother. You won’t be sorry, because I am caring and I guess I have one of those faces you can’t help believing.

If you want to “reserve” this man, type in: Stormin’Norman1960 and leave a message.

I hope all of you are successful in your quest…Cheers

And Now Our Moment of Motto…

New York: “It’s All About Us”