"For Ryan"

WARNING: What follows is a boring personalized rant in order to get things off of my chest in attempt to help myself feel better.

Keep in mind, what I am about to say is a rant about Mom de la Ryno and while accurate, is completely one-sided.

I have always felt that 98% of people who are involved in a failed marriage or relationship and put the blame entirely on the other person are one of two things…

A liar…or uber-delusional.

However, this is my site and my rant, so here’s what’s bugging me…

I went over to the house to pick up Ryno yesterday and take him to school. He was in the shower getting ready when I arrived.

While I waited on him, his mom, asked if I had any extra money for her because she has to pay $800.00 on Thursday for her and Ryno’s school trip to D.C. in March.

I said, “no.”

But my how the mood and atmosphere quickly changed. Kinda like if Dick Cheney showed up on your doorstep during a birthday party or...

If you found out that the sprinkles on your delicious cake were extricated from Rosie O'Donnell's last pap smear.

That's how the mood changed

She told me that I knew all about this. Ha. I didn’t know she had to pay that amount of money on Thursday.

I had mentioned awhile back that if I had any money from my tax return I would give them some of it to have while on their trip.

Well, knowing her as I do, I know that PMS sets in this time of month.

And no, I am not generalizing. She has always had profound PMS issues and has refused to do anything about it.

Well, anyhow, her change in demeanor made me feel like shit once again. Not because I want to help because of her, but because of the two magic words she used…

“For Ryan.”

Ah, yes…For Ryan. Works nearly every time.

This incident comes on the heels of Ryno’s last grade card. He got really good grades but did tank a Science final exam.

Whose fault was that, you ask? That’s right…Mine!!

In fact, she told him upon seeing his Science exam grade…

“Ryan you are smart like your Dad, and you flunked it. Do you want to end up working at a Drive-Thru like your Dad?”

That’s so warm…so encouraging. I am sure that Ryno felt the same way. A year ago or so, she also told him the following…

“Ryan, I would like to be a family again as well, but your Dad has stolen that from us. He took that away from us.”

I was sitting right there, and Ryan was bawling. She’s a sweetheart alright, in a Leona Helmsley kinda way.

Y’know? She has the house when I could have made her sell it and split the dough.

She has Ryan nearly 24/7. She has it all. The only thing she doesn’t have and what she really wants…
My…fucking…soul.

In spite of her telling me that I’m no good, literally spitting in my face, and other fun abuses over the years...

I have rarely said an ill-word about her to my friends, let alone never saying one about her to my son.

And what do I get? Pretty much this… Ryan, your Dad is a loser.

I tell her about my writing and how it will in one way or another, eventually pay off. She tells me that it won’t, and laughs in her condescending way.

Why would she say that? Because, well, I haven't made any money from writing yet.

But folks, hear me now, and listen to me later, this is what she will say when it finally does pay off…

“I knew you would make it. You’re so smart. Now how about sending Ryan and I on a cruise? Not for me mind you…For Ryan.”

Uh-huh…Leave Ryno at home sweetie, and I’ll buy a cruise ticket for you aboard the S.S Poseidon; enjoy the buffet and tell Shelley Winters I said Hi.

Cheers!!

It Hurts To Say Goodbye...

“Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.”

It’s been going on for a couple of months now. We’ve been trying to hold things together by a thread.

You have been as close to me as anyone ever has or ever will be.

For years I stuck up for you, and you? You always covered my back. We were inseparable. We were one.

But, even the closest of friends sometime discover that things just aren’t as they once were.

The warmth with which you had always provided me, has grown cold.

When we come together now, it’s as though I am wandering through a cold, drafty house that was once full of joy and comfort.

Our relationship which was once clean, soft, and woven in strength, has become threadbare and soiled by the stains of time.

We made it through the holidays for which I am happy, but even then, we knew there was a gaping hole between us that could not be fixed.

I will be sad briefly but I will press on, and remember the good times that we had together.

And, as you have indicated already, I guess it is time to split.

I will miss you…


Oh the hell with it. You my good friend, are still fairly well put together. I’ll have Schmoop wash you up and I’ll use ya as a dust rag.

I love you, my baby blue boy warmers.

Happy Friday, all.

Cheers!!