It’s Stream of Reality Friiiiiday. Yeah, that’s what I said. No, not Stream of Consciousness Friday. Why, you ask? ‘Cause I got nothing.
Nothing…nada…zip.
I have to take my son to school, pick him up this afternoon, and take him home, but other than that…not so much.
It appears that today I will be one big flesh ball of inertia.
I can’t clean the digs, because I did my naked house cleaning yesterday. I should really have remembered to shut the blinds, but mistakes happen.
For that, I want to publicly apologize for the visual holocaust experienced by Mr. Tomlin who was taking his afternoon walk past my window while I was vacuuming in the buff. Sorry guy.
I guess I could take 10 minutes and cut my toenails today. The claws on the big toes are getting a bit lethal. Maybe I’ll paint them as well, at least that will kill an additional 15 minutes.
Lessee, what else could I do?
The cat has been kinda pissin’ me off of late. Maybe I’ll rearrange the furniture while she is sleeping. She hates when that happens.
When she wakes up and things are moved around, it’s like her entire universe has been disrupted…she freaks.
I have a Blues song that I could put music to. It’s called, “Pass Me the Bleu Cheese Dressing for My Salad, Low Down Lenten Blues”. Long on title, short on funny. I am at a loss…*sigh*.
I could fire up my Yahoo Messenger and troll for some hot babe with which to have cyber sex. Trust me, I look sexy on the internets.
Chicks virtually dig me…well, until I get too excited, start typing too fast, and prematurely shoot a load of e-spooge all over my keyboard.
From that point in the conversation, the women think I am ignoring them, when in actuality my keys are just stuck together and I am unable to type.
It’s funny how my cyber sex life mirrors my real life sex life.
Any ideas on how I should spend my Friday?
I guess I could read my Bible. I always keep it marked on Genesis 19: 30-38.
I love reading about Lot’s daughters getting Dad all drunked up, and then getting their Sodomite freak on with him.
I do love me some Heavenly Inspired, Cave Sex Incest Porn.
Maybe I’ll just lay on the couch in my underwear and watch The View.
Those idiots make me feel so much better about myself. Plus, I often fantasize about getting naked with Barbara Walters, and teasing her with ice cubes and hot candle wax.
I just noticed something. When I get bored I think about sex quite a bit, don’t I? Sorry about that…
Well, if you have any ideas for me, let me know.
I really need to get a fire lit under me, and more importantly, I need to quit fantasizing about Barbara Walters. It's just not healthy.
Happy Friday.
Cheers!!
