Showing posts with label Values Voter Summit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Values Voter Summit. Show all posts

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Values Voter Summit: Mike Huckabee Wins Straw Poll, and America Wins Back God

It’s going to be a dreary, rainy Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. However…

While I am working in the Beer Mine from 11-7 on this glum, gray day, there will still be a ray of sunshine shining in my heart.

As today is the day of our Lord, it only makes sense that I announce that yesterday, Mike Huckabee topped the straw poll conducted at the Values Voter Summit sponsored by the Family Research Council.

Two words in response to that result: Praise Jeebus!!

Roughly 600 Conservative attendees at the Values Voter Summit voted as to who they would like to see as President in 2012, and my favorite Man of God, Mike Huckabee far outpolled the others, with a total of 28%.

Who did the Huckster beat at this Right Wing Love-Fest put on by Tony “Psycho” Perkins of the Family Research Council?

Mitt Romney came in a distant second…not bad at this venue considering he’s a pantry stuffing Mormon.

Romney was followed by Gov. Tim “From the Land of 10,000,000 Mosquitoes” Pawlenty, Former Alaska Governor, Sarah “My Daughter is a Harlot” Palin, and Rep. Mike “He’s From Indiana for God’s Sake. Indiana!!” Pence.

Now my man Huckabee wasn’t up against a very impressive or Godly group, but the Light of the Lord shone in the final results.

I think these results confirm what former Florida Secretary of State and intellectual vixen Katherine Harris said lo those years ago: “God Chooses Our Leaders.”

Bless You, Katherine Harris…Bless You and Show Me Your Breastesses. Mmmmmmmm.

Anyhoo…On this glorious Sunday, I want to give glory to GAWD and to The Huckster. If Huckabee can build on this win and become our President in 2012, it will be as if Jesus Christ has returned to Earth.

And who doesn’t want Jeebus to return? I mean, other than Christ Killin’ Jews, Dirty Muslims, Atheists, and most folks who say that they are Christians. No one…that’s who.

One bit of advice Huck…If you want to once again be on the National stage and help to save our Godless nation, you might want to get back into shape.

You dropped a lot of weight before, but man judging by what I have seen of you on TV lately, you’ve been going back for second and third servings of Manna from Heaven, dude.

Doing God’s work, is hard work…I, in fact all of us seeking national redemption, need you to be in the best shape of your life for this run.

Amen, and Amen…

Have a wonderful Sabbath all. Mine will be filled with providing essential public services to beer drinkers, and then helping my son study for some tests.


I am so damn selfless…Just like Mike.

Cheers!!