Ahhhh...

Ahhhh…Saturday.

I haven’t had an entire Saturday off in three months. It’s kinda nice.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. My last schedule was choice, but there’s something about being off on a Saturday.

Why? Well, it’s a day when most everyone else I know is off. Being the social animal that I am, I like that.

I’m going to run a few errands, and then meet up with Schmoop at her mom’s house later and hang out with her and her brother, David.

We’ll imbibe a few beers throughout the day. Make fun of people we know, and then after a meatless dinner, perhaps Schmoop and I will watch a couple of episodes of “Keeping Up Appearances”.

Ahhhh…Saturday.

I heard a funny story from Ryno’s mom the other day. Ryno’s aunt and uncle on his mom’s side, have a parrot or parakeet or some type of bird that speaks. They bought it for one of their daughters.

Now the aunt and uncle are what can easily be considered right wing conservative Christians. They loathe Barack Obama.

Well, it seems that whenever they weren’t around…or the daughters weren’t around, someone had evidently been teaching the bird to say, “Barack Obama”.

Much to their chagrin (especially his aunt), the bird says it with regularity.

Who, you may ask, was the purveyor of the avian linguistic lesson? That’s right…

Ahhhh…my son. You make me more proud of you with each passing day. Good job my boy.

Back to Saturday, now. This Saturday will be even more special because Drive-By Mikey has added a new product to the Drive-Thru.

It’s a beer that I have long loved. A fine Malt Liquor that when ice cold, is simply the bomb. The drink I speak of…

Mmmmmmmmm, Mickey’s. Looks like Jeebus beat me to the first one.

And now to finish things up on this Saturday. I give you this week‘s entry of…

Worst Frickin’ Songs Ever Recorded…

A special treat today…I, Matt-Man, sing a snippet of Minnie Ripperton’s, Lovin’ You. Enjoy…

Have a lovely Saturday y’all. I’m going to spend mine going, “Ahhhh”.

Cheers!!

Seamus, Syd, and Schmoop

Well, it’s back to the beer mines for me today.

And what the hell...I’m glad.

For these are dark times, or rather crimson times here at the Bagwine abode.

You guessed it…Just in time for Super Bowl XLIII, Schmoop’s uterus, whom she refers to as Syd, has penalized her…

And as a result, Syd has left Seamus and I holding the ball with nobody around to toss it to.

This is what I'll be seeing when I'm not at work this weekend...


And in keeping with our theme of uterine non-coagulation, this week's offering of Worst Frickin' Songs Ever Recorded...

Oy Vay...I like Alice Cooper; but man, that song blows.

Have a lovely Saturday. Please join me tomorrow for a special Super Bowl Edition of our Sunday Morning Church Disservice.

Until then, pass me another gross of pads, stay free and as always...

Cheers!!

Pop Goes The Matt-Man

I was off yesterday and was in one helluva good mood…For a little while.

Early yesterday morning, someone (not Schmoop) stuck a hot needle into my bubble of happiness and deflated my mood.

I was in a bitter mood all day long and it continues to a lesser degree this morning. Thusly, Seamus remains flaccid and will not be appearing here today.

I have to work in the beer mines later today. Perhaps some hot 35-55 year old chicks will come by the Drive-Thru and lift my spirits.

Anyhoo that’s all I have today. Well except for this one last thing. Today’s entry of…

World’s Worst Frickin’ Songs Ever Recorded...

After to listening to that I should get ready for work, but perhaps I'll go hang myself instead.

Cheers!!

Seamus Sez

Earlier this week, I introduced you all to my penis, Seamus, and he had things to say.

I think, at least for a few weeks, I should let him have his speaks.

Therefore, Saturdays here at Bagwine Ruminations will be known as Seamus Sez.

My penis, Seamus, will impart words of wisdom upon you based upon his take on well known cliches.

So my friends our first entry of Seamus Sez....

With that being said, I also want to let you know that Saturdays will also contain something that I artfully call:

The Worst Frickin' Songs Ever Recorded...

My first entry is this...By Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs, Sugar Shack. Oh Dear God, kill me now.



If you have ideas for the worst song let me know. Just make sure it is relatively well-known. And, email it to me so that I can keep it under wraps until the next Saturday.

I must brave the cold and work this Saturday, but no fears, I'm a badass. I can handle the chill.

Cheers!!