The number of hits I have gotten because of writing about Lindsay Roberts' campaign to save souls and to introduce underage boys to God's Grotto of Gomorrah continues to astound me. I feel that I need to thank her, and what better way to do that than penning a heartfelt song in her honor?Ladies and Gentlemen,
To the tune of "Windy" by The Association, I give you, "Lindsay"...
Who spreads her legs for underage Okies
Who's texting boys at quarter til' three
Whose sexcapades give Matt tons of hits now
Everyone knows it's Lindsay
Who's holy-rollin' inside the guest house
Signs of stigmata bleed from her knees
Who's screaming, "Lord, please take me, I'm coming."
Everyone knows it's Lindsay
Chorus: And Lindsay will save your soul
Just fill her collection bowl
It's your Highway to Heaven toll
So hop on board (So hop on board)
You'll see the Lord (You'll see the Lord)
[skin flute solo]
Who's makin' Swaggart look like a pansy
Who does Ted Haggard call for advice
Who gives the boys Evangelical candy
Everyone knows it's Lindsay (chorus)
Once again thanks to Lindsay Roberts and the "fine" folks at Oral Roberts University for their comedic value and to those over at icanhascheezburger.com for the topical picture of the praying pussy.
To the rest of you, Cheers!!
27 comments:
Odat: Thanks. It's a God-Given Gift...so to speak. Cheers!!
God Bless you, my son - you done ROCKED THE HOUSE!
Metalmom: Glad you laughed, and dont worry about me; I think Lindsay should be the one worried about lightning bolts. Cheers!!
Songbird: Why thank you O Lovely One. Cheers!!
I read the other day that every situation has a blessing in it somewhere... this one obvioulsy has a few for the bagwine world.
I hope I'm not humming that song all day now.
I'm so excited today that all I can say is
OOH RAH!!!!
Must read your post from yesterday to fully understand todays...
SMOOCHES~
I think she's just puttin the ORAL back in Oral Roberts University.
Nuttin' wrong with a little hummer.
That was President Clinton's motto, right?
"I did not have SEX with that woman" for Lindsay would be "I do not have SEX with men", which we can figure out to be "I give BJs in back seats to minors" ~ Ah, Lindsay you are my new hero!
Er, I mean, Matt-man, I put you on a pedestal.
Marilyn: I indeed do feel blessed and if that song stays stuck in your head, I heartily apologize.
Dixie: Catch up when you can and congrats to your Matt. Cheers!!
Mo: Hi Stranger!! Lindsay is just trying to save folks from Hell's Mother Lode one "minor" at a time!!
Damn...another keyboard shot to hell. You think I would have learned to put down the drinks when I bring up your blog!
Raven: You are too kind. As soon as I see some royalties from this song I'll buy you a new keyboard. Cheers!!
still laughing on the flute solo.
matt-man, you must do a song compilation book.
I'm with Lisa...the skin flute solo is where I lost it. I should know better than to eat lunch while reading your blog!
Lisa: Christmas is coming up quickly so maybe I can put together enough for a Christmas Albumn. Cheers!!
Starrlight: Sorry about your food expulsion, but glad you laughed. Cheers!!
Your gonna be famous...weird matt yank-o-somethin'
(She would get away with taking advantage of her situation like Clinton did EXCEPT these were underage boys...not some powerhungry...of age...media milking intern...
all puns intended...
LMAO!!
Oh and Matty the post was funny too ;-)
Katherine: Yes I am always yankin' something. You're so punny.
TB: Ha...Your kudos are so underwhelming. Why I oughta....
Matt-man,
You are wasting your god-given talents. You should be a comedy writer for the late show or the sit-coms..you can make me laugh..they can't.
Imagine, you can get paid 'well' for what you do naturally!
I don't know where you get those ideas...but you're damn good. Now that its gone to your head...pass the hooch!
Matty: I appreciate that very much and I mean that. That is my goal in life, so spread the word my friend. I am glad you get a chuckle from my posts. Cheers Matty!!
Oh lordy you are GOOD! But feck that tune in my head....what you bet it'll be there all day now? Gah.
Wendz: Thanks. As far as the tune, if I have to suffer so should you all. Cheers!!
BRILLIANT....as always matt-Man....I think you might enjoy my rant today...
SMOOCH hehehehe
Bond: I got off to a late start but I'll be by. Cheers!!
"Evangelical Candy"
The wafer is never going to be quite the same again...
Boy: Sorry about that. Just dont look at it when you go to communion next time. Cheers!!
Freakin' funny. I love me a good parody. I put them on my sight all the time.
Ve: Thanks. Have a good one and Cheers!!
This has got to be working so much better then just mentioning Cecily Tynan in a post to get hits
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