Folks, are you suffering from scorn like Richard and Lindsay Roberts? Are you getting heat from your friends, family, and The Lord Almighty himself? Well, look no further, Pastor Peter Popoff can get your life back on track and make you right with Gawd.
Peace and prosperity can be yours if you just follow his three step process. Order now and you get Peter's prophetic teachings, as well as a necklace filled with Holy Water and Holy Dirt from Jerusalem...That's right , and if you think I'm kidding read the lower right corner. Unbelievable!! A regular $390.00 value, it can be yours for only $89.00...Praise Jesus!!
Not a big reader? Can't afford to pay Popoff $89.00? Just get a hold of Apostle Don Stewart and salvation is on the way. Ask for your Prosperity Handkerchief, hold it in your hand, and watch monetary and spiritual abundance bless your life. Have you ever seen a more trustworthy and caring face? Bless you Don...
If neither of these road maps to redemption float your your Ark, don't fret...Eat Your Way To Redemption!! That's right, order my Pizza of Prophecy and after just one bite, you will be awash in the the prophetic word of Jesus Christ. Buy one for $9.00 or get a whole Trinity of them for $25.00. Remember we're not selling a mere pizza...We're selling Salvation by the Slice!!
Not a big fan of Pizza? Do you prefer comfort food? Not a problem. Contact us and we will ship you our mouthwatering and miraculous Messianic Meatloaf!! We use only the finest cuts of fattened calf and sacrifical lamb in the preparation of this divine dinner.
A word of caution...One whiff of this holy delight and your prodigal sons will be comng back for more. Ha Ha. If you order before November 15th, we will even throw in a free Pumpkin Pious!!
There you have it my friends...Redemption and Salvation can not only be good for your soul, but also devilishly Dee-Lish!!
Buon Apetit, and Cheers!!
NOTE: Join Mo for his BlogTalk Radio show tonight... for details click HERE. Also I want to thank those of you who stopped by to welcome my friend Schmoop to the blogosphere yesterday. If you havent checked her out, just click HERE.
32 comments:
How many times must I tell you to stop playing with the food??? Great post!
You're really milking this, aren't you?
Wait...
Matt-siah's Milk of Manna - Will nourish you even in the darkest of times. Will cure all of your ills!
Gack! Now you've got me doing it!!!!
[[running in terror, screaming]]
I think I'll get the Messianic Meatloaf and use the Prosperity Hankerchief as a napkin.
Schmoop: I can thelp myself when it comes to helping others!!
Songbird: If you saw my hit meter you would see that I am just giving the flock what they're hungry for!!
Raven: Good Call...That will make you doubly blessed. Cheers!!
Meatloaf? You know what I'm dreaming of!....MMM quiche!
Is milk of Manna anything like Milk of magnesia?
Metalmom: Why not make a Meatloaf Quiche? I'll pass on the Milk of Manna, but Milk of Womanna sounds good. Cheers!!
is there a discount if I order both? because I'd like the trinity of pizzas (we have a whole family of sinners here) AND the meatloaf for our Sunday sinner dinner.
Lisa: Because you have such a large sinful family and the fact that you looked so hot in your wench dress photo from your post yesterday, I will give you the Meatloaf, AND a Trinity of Extra Large "Goliath" Pizzas for the low, low cost of $30.00.
Tell your family that they better thank you for filling their stomachs and saving their souls. Cheers!!
I'll take a Pizza of Prophecy please. Can I get some pepperoni with that? Will that up my salvation?
Peace
yummy messianic meatloaf...you are truly a blessing matthew
Odat: Pepperoni wil spice up your relationship with Gawd. Cheers!!
Katherine: My humility prevents me from agreeing with you. Cheers!!
I wonder if I can annoint my own green handkerchief... I'm not sure I want one anointed by that guy. What kind of ointment should I use?
Marilyn: As we are dealing with the Lord, try Palm Oil. Cheers!!
Why do I feel coated in a thin film of slime just looking at those two Holy Hemorrhoids?
Ohh...and did you see, Rev Oral Pussywhipped is taking a Leave of Absense. Apparently his wife already has from her marriage vows :P
And I say unto you...follow the matt-Man in all that he is and does and you too shall feel the sting of the lord as he brings you into his fold....From the valleys of bagwine to the shores of the memphis mississippi, you shall be forever holding to the words of matt-siah and shall feel the tingle in your toes and the twitching of your lions to be free of all that has held you down...
So, send in your prayer offering...beginning at $666.00 and in increments of $66.60 and we will ensure the relief of the 6's will be yours forever...
Say Matt-ehula! Say it strong my brothas and sistas...say it clear..
offer not available in arkansas, arizona or north dakota...all right reserved, no guarantees given...no money back
Starrlight: What a shame the place wont be the same without Dick. Cheers!!
Bond: Spoken like a true disciple. God Bless You.
Offer not available in Arkansas? Oh...yeah...I forgot - we already laid claim to that whole Bible Belt thing.
Lord, save me from Your followers....
Tigger: Pay no nevermind to that. I'll send you a miracle pizza under the name of Mike Huckabee. Cheers!!
Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Hold de phone.
NOT available in Arizona? Whassup widdat, Bond?!
Songbird: Dont listen to him, he knows not he speaks of. Cheers!!
So, if Pastor Peter Popoff picked a peck of pickled peppers, would they be in the meatloaf?
Janna: I dont know, but with a name like that I think he would be more likely to pick peppered pickles!! Cheers!!
So, Matty me Boy, are YOU available in AZ?
Songbird: I am Worldwide Baby!!
came by from Starlight - yeah, pizza of prophecy for me...LOL!
La Bellina: Thanks for stopping by, enjoy the pizza, and if you read Starrlight I am assuming that I like you already. Cheers!!
HAhahhahahahaaha I cant stop laughing put me down for three slices or the trinity please!
Tigger & Songbird: I was just trying to save your wallets! bwahahahahahaa
Thanks, Bond, but I can have Matty at the rock bottom price of FREE!!!!!
Sorry, Schmoop - I know his heart belongs to you, though.
Roger: Your pies are on the way. Good Eatin'!!
Bond: And I am trying to save their souls...
Songbird: Wait a minute...I may be easy but I'm not cheap!!
Did you say DELIVERY? Sounds good to me.
Who are all these millions of people that send the evangelists all this money...do they actually believe all that crap?
How come if we did something like that it would be called fraud? and they get away with it?
Consider it on the way Matty. Fraud? But they're preaching the word of GAWD!! Cheers Matty!!
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