Saturday, January 05, 2008

Mike Huckabee: Presidential Messiah

I had an epiphany after the Iowa Caucuses. I used to be a liberal Democrat, but after seeing Mike Huckabee, and the supernatural light of The Almighty, I have had a change of heart...and soul.

I've decided to follow the sheep annointed ones and campaign for Mike Huckabee. I love the passion and rightgeousness of this man so much, I have written a song.

Enjoy it, and join with me in electing Mike Huckabee the next President of the United States.



President Huckabee, how sweet that sounds
He’ll save our sinful country
He will drive the bus, we’ll be Rapture-Bound
In God’s name please vote for Mike Huck-a-Bee

In God we trust, and so it is with Mike
He’ll lead us down a righteous path
Beware all you homos, queers, and dykes
You’re going asunder from the Huckabee wrath

The sanc-ti-ty of life, is a Huckabee creed
No abortions, ‘cause all life has worth
If you’re raped by your dad, and filled with his seed
You’re now with child, carry to term, and give birth

Where is Pakistan, Russia, or Iran?
Who cares the Bible is our map
There is only one place n’ that’s the Promised Land
Where our prize and our salvation lie unwrapped

Oh, President Huckabee, how sweet that sounds
He’ll save our sinful country
He will drive the bus, we will be Glory Bound
In God’s name please vote for Mike Huck-a-Bee


God Bless Mike Huckabee, and God Bless the United States of America.

And now, for the first installation of 2008's Comment of the Week...

From yesterday's post dealing with me cleaning the Bagwine digs nekkid, I give you this from Al:


"Matt-man vacuuming nekkid while he Tea-Bags the furniture, Thank God! I have midget porn to help get that vision out of my head..."

For more gems of literary genius from Al, click him out at:

Be An 11 (Call Him Al)

Cheers!!


50 comments:

DocMtCat said...

I think Mike Huckabee's nickname oughta be Pork Chop.

-Shane (doc)

Schmoop said...

Doc: That might offend the Jewish voters. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

did you know this can also be sung to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun"???

you are ever so graceful in the jacket...must be gettin' ready to go bigtime?

President Huck....laughing laughing laughing....

DocMtCat said...

If there is one thing clear about Ole Pork Chop is that his target demographic sure as hell ain't the Jewish voters... BWAAHAHAHAAA!

Wild Irish Rose toast on that one...

- Doc

katherine. said...

the cool thing about subscribing to BagwineMan on YouTube is that you get to see this stuff before it hits the blog world....but I love having the lyrics!!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

You know that The Huck is one of those closet (ahem) freaks. He probably does wildly kinky shit with the family cat and peanut butter. I would have said dog, but his son's probably off'd the family pooch.

Seriously though...he scares me.

Schmoop said...

Kat: Holy Crap, it sure can. Too bad Eric Burden is a bit out of my range in parts. The jacket was divinely inspired. Enjoy the west coast time zone and stay safe from the winds. Night Kat!!

Doc: Ha...Even without a comment, it would still be a good time for a Wild Irish Rose toast. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: I bet he has a wide stance just like Senator Larry Craig. Cheers Starr!!

Schmoop said...

Kat: You were the one who prompted me posting the lyrics to my songs. Thank You.

Schmoop said...

Kat: And thanks for the You Tube plug!!

Jeff B said...

I'm with Katherine, the houndstooth sports coat is the exclamation point on an otherwise brilliant song.

the Book of Keira said...

It is sad night here for the108 and yet I still laughed. Thank you.

You can Call me AL said...

Holy C.O.W. ! I won! hell yes....
Thank You Matt-Man..

Love the song, especially verse 3;what a message!

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Thanks. I dressed up because I felt, "pretty". Cheers!!

108: Sorry to hear that but glad you got a laugh. Cheers!!

Al: Revel in the glory of the COW. Cheers my good man!!

Unknown said...

What a screwed up conversion experience!

Please revert to the old Matt-Man ASAP!

Schmoop said...

Nick: HA...I'm sure it has passed already. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

Good! I am relieved!

Schmoop said...

Nick: Just as quickly as I was awash in Mike's rightgeousness, it passed thusly. Thus sayeth the Matt-Man. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

the jacket AND NO EARRING...you have been converted...next thing you will give up the drink and the use of meat products...

Huckleberry Hound has invaded not only your mind but your soul...this might cause me to have to ban you from your seat on The Couch

Schmoop said...

Bond: When singing about a man of GAWD, I try to present myself in a well dressed fashion. Please do not ban me for following the light and the truth. Cheers!!

Dana said...

I see the upstanding conservative right is already showing its true colors over at YouTube! It's good to see that you can so easily rile the flock Matt-Man. Why is it that they scatter when they see you coming???

Schmoop said...

Dana: The funny thing is that the first person to comment evidently thinks I am a Huckabee supporter and the other nut thinks I am the Devil. And they're both wrong.

I love shining a light on the stupid. Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

Congratz to Al! {you COW}
I think I may toss my hat into the ring just so you will sing to me Matt! Happy weekend babe~~

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Well I already dream about you so I guess I should write a song about it. Have a good one too. Cheers Cheesy One!!

Odat said...

YOu've convinced me Matt....but that jacket is making my eyes hurt...kinda like a bad trip....
Peace

Oh and thanks for finishing my limerick yesterday...I knew you'd come up with a good one!!!

Congrats to Al, was a good one!!!

Peace

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

The word Exorcism keeps running through my mind....

Schmoop said...

Odat: It's Matt-Man and the Amazing Black and White Dreamcoat. Cheers!!

Bond: For me or the Huckster? Cheers Vinny!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

YOU DUDE ...YOU

For him it would be a Exportation to some other country

Schmoop said...

Bond: Don't exorcise me just yet, I am working on a song that's much better and more spiritual. Cheers!!

DocMtCat said...

I think his campaign slogan should be 'Up With Huck!'. Or how about 'Huckabury Win!' Nah, not quite.

- The Mountain Cat

Schmoop said...

Doc: How about, "A Vote for Huckabee; Is a Vote for the Middle Ages." Cheers!!

RW said...

Praise Mike Huckabee Brother! I have felt the spirit of political cornballs touch my soul! hallelujah! hallelujah! Change is coming to america!..WHOOPS...I just broke into political religious tongues sorry...This video just changed my life! Thank you brother Matt-Man!

Jay said...

That brought a tear to my eye. I'm very inspired now.

You know what's really scary though? Most Huckster supporters will that was serious and start singing along with you.

Schmoop said...

Roger: It is nice to know that I could, in a small way, help to feed your soul. Be back here for the Church Disservice tomorrow, I'll have a brand new musical tribute to the Incredible Huck. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Jay: I had one comment from somone who thought I was serious. Wait til' tomorrow the new song I have just recorded will have the Huckababies singing and clapping in aisles. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Are you REALLY gonna be a Huckabite? BTW-The voice is in fine shape!

Sorry bout the tag!

Schmoop said...

Metalmom: Don't be sorry you nut. Thanks and yes, I think Huck is the Second Coming...Of what, I have no idea. Cheers and I hope you are feeling better.

none said...

Brilliant as always.

Obama or Huckabee? It's like deciding whether to have my balls slammed in a car door or trampled by the budweiser clydesdales.

Schmoop said...

Hammer: Ha...Take the Clydesdales, at least you might get a free beer out of the deal. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

WTH is wrong with my YouTube subscription? I didn't receive my advanced notification.

Grrrr....

I'll come back to listen when the kidlets aren't around...

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Well, that sucks. Maybe the Huckabee campaign is blocking notification. Cheers Darlin'!!

Marilyn said...

Now I feel like I'm missing half of the entertainment value by not subscribing to YouTube.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: It only takes a couple of minutes. No pain, and plenty of pleasure!! Cheers!!

Unknown said...

INteresting song...very interesting. You cleaning nekkid??? Curious, my Fil does that all the time...he is a nudist though.
So I think I saw your doppleganger in Oshkosh yesterday riding a bike down the street.
Come meet the newest bear...my nephew arrived :)

Schmoop said...

Sassy: You saw my doppleganger in Oshkosh? I wasn't even there!! I'll be by Sassy. Cheers!!

Travis Cody said...

It's good to know that I can come here to regain my perspective when I get completely discouraged during this election season.

You provide a most appreciated service, my good man!

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Matt-Man how I've missed you so. :)

I think this one might be my favorite so far.

Schmoop said...

Travis: I am glad that even while Rose-Impaired that I can perform a public service. Cheer smy good man!!

CrAzY: I think tomorrow's will be even better. The music is just rolling out of me of late. Cheers!!

Tiggerlane said...

LOL!! GREAT! I hate how the "Christian Right" is now a political base, more sought after than they should be.

Yeah, wait until the general populace finds out how he screwed up our lovely state while Governor.

Rock on, Matt-Man!

Schmoop said...

Tigger: I will rock on. I hate when religion and politics get mixed. Not a good combo. Cheers!!