Those wacky Israelis and Palestinians are at it again. They have been in mediation through the Egyptians, in an attempt to bring about a cease-fire.
When will the Israelis understand that there can be no peace with Hamas, and vice versa.
These two groups are like oil and water, or in this case wine and tea.
Some people here in the States are up in arms that Israel is even talki
ng to Hamas. Who are these people who are up in arms, you ask?
Well, people like Debbie Schlussel…
Ms. Schlussel, who is pictured wearing something that looks as though Sean Hannity just threw up on, writes a Pro-Israel/Anti-Muslim Blog.
She loves all things Jewish, wants every Muslim dead, and believes that Islamo-Fascists have infiltrated Wal*Mart.
Ms. Schlussel also seems to be the victim of several incidents of blunt force trauma to her head.
In fact, right now, she probably believes that somewhere in Los Angeles, Kareem Abdul Jabbar is plotting the destruction of the Staples Center.
Anyway, if you are like me, you realize that there can be no peace, and frankly, I’m a little tired of giving Israel 3 Billion Shekels of U.S. taxpayers’ geld a year.
And for what…
We don’t prop up Israel because they are a “shining beacon of democracy” in the Middle East.
We do it because Evangelical nut jobs, like John Hagee, say that God tell us we must.
The only return we get on our investment?
Twice a year, over-cosmeticized, over-accessorized, Hebrew women make a pilgrimage to Palm Beach and Ft. Lauderdale. Oy Vay!!
If I were to be elected President, I would make one last grant of 5 Billion Dollars to the Israelis.
They would have to use this money to rebuild the damn Temple in Jerusalem.
That way, the Holy Baby Jeebus can return, rule the world for a millennium, and fulfill this long awaited prophecy.
See? My plan is a no-brainer. Unless of course, the Jews get all pissed off about JC’s return and decide to nail him up yet again!!
What do the Palestininas get? They can have the Gaza Strip all to their own.
It is, after all, a few miles of dirt and debris…have at it, Ahmed.
I know. I know. Some will call me Anti-Semitic. That is pure poppycock.
I love a good knish as much as the next guy.
I even pull out my own personal dreidl and play with it several times a day…
Especially when thinking about some hot Gentile on Jew action with a flag draped Israeli babe.
I hope I have brought this entire, difficult issue into perspective.
Let there be peace in the Middle East and a piece for the Matt-Man.
Shalom, Salaam, and Cheers!!
Some people here in the States are up in arms that Israel is even talki
ng to Hamas. Who are these people who are up in arms, you ask?Well, people like Debbie Schlussel…
Ms. Schlussel, who is pictured wearing something that looks as though Sean Hannity just threw up on, writes a Pro-Israel/Anti-Muslim Blog.
She loves all things Jewish, wants every Muslim dead, and believes that Islamo-Fascists have infiltrated Wal*Mart.
Ms. Schlussel also seems to be the victim of several incidents of blunt force trauma to her head.
In fact, right now, she probably believes that somewhere in Los Angeles, Kareem Abdul Jabbar is plotting the destruction of the Staples Center.
Anyway, if you are like me, you realize that there can be no peace, and frankly, I’m a little tired of giving Israel 3 Billion Shekels of U.S. taxpayers’ geld a year.
And for what…
We don’t prop up Israel because they are a “shining beacon of democracy” in the Middle East.
We do it because Evangelical nut jobs, like John Hagee, say that God tell us we must.
The only return we get on our investment?
Twice a year, over-cosmeticized, over-accessorized, Hebrew women make a pilgrimage to Palm Beach and Ft. Lauderdale. Oy Vay!!
If I were to be elected President, I would make one last grant of 5 Billion Dollars to the Israelis.
They would have to use this money to rebuild the damn Temple in Jerusalem.
That way, the Holy Baby Jeebus can return, rule the world for a millennium, and fulfill this long awaited prophecy.
See? My plan is a no-brainer. Unless of course, the Jews get all pissed off about JC’s return and decide to nail him up yet again!!
What do the Palestininas get? They can have the Gaza Strip all to their own.
It is, after all, a few miles of dirt and debris…have at it, Ahmed.
I know. I know. Some will call me Anti-Semitic. That is pure poppycock.
I love a good knish as much as the next guy.
I even pull out my own personal dreidl and play with it several times a day…
Especially when thinking about some hot Gentile on Jew action with a flag draped Israeli babe.
I hope I have brought this entire, difficult issue into perspective.
Let there be peace in the Middle East and a piece for the Matt-Man.
Shalom, Salaam, and Cheers!!
52 comments:
Religion ... the preferred rationale for killing people.
Dana: Sad, isn't it? That is why I shall never again belong to any organized church or religion. Cheers!!
Well, if the protestants and catholics in Northern Ireland can stop blowing each other up, anything is possible.
When He comes back the second time, he'll be riding Daddys silver cylinder built of jewtonium.
All the world media will be there when the door opens, and when they do..hovering there will be Him and his Big G Daddy.
Then it will be a very, very holy shit that hits the fan!
Boy: That's true, but I dunno. People who can't eat bacon are a surly lot. Cheers!!
Micky: If and when Hay-Zoos returns, Benny Hinn, Paul Crouch, Joyce Meyer, and quite a few other "people of God" better find a good hiding place. Cheers!!
sream scream scream Kaboom. Isn't that how things are discussed in the Middle friggin East.
Lu: That pretty much sums it up. Cheers Lu!!
Yeah...what Dana said...and your reply to her Matt..
yep thats how I feel.
HUGS!!
I bet you play that "dreidl" really good! ;-)
Peace
(I was sure you'd have a post on our NY governor!!!!)
Leelee: For the Love of God...Let's go kill someone!! it's a shame. Cheers Lee!!
Odat: Ha...A Spitzer post did cross my mind. Happy Birthday to you Odat. Cheers to you and Here's to a year of Peace and healing for you.
While Ms. Schlussel has some faults, she is wonderfully well breasted, Shalom!!
Roger: It's a shame that those are attached to such a nutjob. Cheers!!
"thinking about some hot Gentile on Jew action"
Babe... Make your appt. to get cut if not done already!
Cheesy: Actually, I am trying to have my circumcision reversed. Cheers!!
You make too much sense when you are not eating meat ;-)
TB: Ha...Ya Think? Well in 12 days I can go back to being a Hipster Doofus. Cheers!!
Huh? What? My fever is making me read words that are not there....
Huh?
Bond: It's hell being stricken with a case of ague Vunny. Cheers!!
Build a wall around the Middle East for 250 years...when it comes down, whoever is still alive can be declared the winners. :::muttering::: stupid religious wars...
Raven: Well that would work as well. Can I still get my hot Israeli babe first? Cheers!!
What Bond said. I'm too ill to digest this.
Songbird: And yet you came in here and spread your germs. Rest up and get well. Cheers!!
Isn't this the same war that's been going on for years? Centuries? Two millennia? It's not going to stop until the world does.Everyone should step back and let them play it out forever. They don't want us there and our boys don't need to be there.
12 days isn't so very long.
Gosh, you must have gone to bed early to get up and be this well spoken. ;)~
These are sad times indeed. Hoping that God will see what a strong dedicated Matt-Man we have for going without meat for so long, to bless us all and bring peace to everyone.
Metalmom: War is the biggest and most lucrative industry in the region.
Yep, just 12 more days. That's only 288 hours until Meat-O-Rama!! Cheers!!
Jahooni: I did indeed. I am such a giver, aren't I? Would you like to be a receiver? Cheers!!
Israel gave the world Natalie Portman. Israel is good.
Jay: Ha...There's nothing wrong with a chick with a hot blintz and a nubile pair of bagels. Cheers!!
My thoughts were right there with Roger's. I can appreciate some mammoth hooters without have any respect whatsoever for the head attached above 'em.
BTW Take a gander at Blogs We Luv today. I gave you a shameless, shameless, plug. MUAH!
Winter: I can't seperate the head from the boobs. Nor is that legal. I'll be over soon dear, and Cheers!!
I even pull out my own personal dreidl and play with it several times a day… I'll bet you do too. Bwahahahahahaha. Don't show us this on Thursday. Just saying. Have a great day Matt-Man. :)
Sandee: 'Round here it's like every day is Hanukkha...No pic of that on Thursday, but there will be a nice profile shot of the Matt-Ass. Cheers!!
Shhh!
Shhhh!
Did you hear that?!
Yep, it's the devil heating up the fires in hell for you.
Dude, you are so going to burn.
Tehehe. Good thing I don't believe in the devil. I'm pretty neutral on the religion side of things. You might want to call me an atheist, gay-marriage supporting, Republican. I know . I know. Shocking. I don't fit inside the box.
Anyway, religion does seem to have caused so much pain in this world. I hate what people feel compelled to do in the name of Jesbus, Allah, whatever.
But, just in case there is a God, I am staying the hell away from you. I can already see you transmorfing into some pretty greasy pork rinds. Or maybe donkey rinds?
PS I still don't know why you say cheers. Are you taking a shot after every comment?
Scout: Hey There Scout. Transforming into greasy pork rinds? This was one of my tamer, more lucid posts!!
Wow, an Atheist, gay-marriage supporting Republican? Do you do kids' parties? Cheers!!
Hey, that wasn't a typo...this time.
I like to make up words. Ask my husband...oh, wait, he's currently pounding his head against the wall that he had to pay off my student loans to Berkeley, so that I could amuse myself with creative words. Snort.
Anyway, transform sounded sooooo wonder twins activate. Transmogrify was only meh. I wanted transmorph, but then I decided the use of the "f" would be better.
Yep, we silly Republican housewives amuse ourselves with the small things. And, yes, I put on a mean party.
Scout: Noooo...I wasn't correcting your spelling, I was merely saying that I am already beyond the pork rind realm.
Ha. Wonder Twins...Classic!! Let's get this party started. Cheers!!
Walmart infiltrated? Staples under a plot? Damn...how can I get my sticky notes and white V neck T-Shirts now? I'm glad you told me...
psssst... Be careful..I have a feeling Scout is really Mike Huckabee in disguise....
VE: I dunno. VE. I don't think Muslims use either of those things. I'd start cleaning out the staplers at work, and start actually washing your T-Shirts. Cheers!!
Bond: If she is, I will do her and Praise Jeebus. Cheers Vin!!
Hey, I'm NO Mike Huckabee. Not even close! I would rather have Obama than a holy-roller like Huckabee. Actually,he who scared me the most was Romney. Oily Mormon. Having been raised a Mormon(still shivering from my childhood), there's fundamental tenents of his faiththat could not have helped, but overlap the duties of the oval office.
Scout: With all of that Mormon stuff being said, wasn't it comforting to have a year's supply of food on hand? Cheers Scout!!
Okay... aren't there 8 candles in a menorah? That would mean she was only 37.5% short... meaning she had 62.5% of a full menorah. I think that would be an overestimate.
I knew it about Wal-Mart! Knew it!
*giggles* I bet the dreidl is NOT the only thing you pull out several times a day and play with...
Notice the smile on the guys face next to Jugs...I mean Debbie Slutsell...I mean Schlussel?
Where do you suppose his right hand is?
guess the jewish girls aren't that.... well, i guess they make a good kosher meal. nevermind. and big tits. ;)~
Marilyn: I hate it when people check my math. I think it was the time change that through me off. What? Cheers!!
Deb: Thay have many dark secrets don't they? Thanks for stopping by. Cheers!!
Sparky: Damn Straight. Praise Yahweh. Cheers!!
Dixie: What are you saying? I mean, other than the truth. Cheers!!
Jeff: I wondered about his hand too. Slutsell? I like it. Cheers!!
Jahooni: I like Kosher. I like big tits. I like your comment. Cheers!!
Well the Prots and Caths have been going at it from less than 500 years whilst the Jewish folks and everyone else in the Middle East have issues going back to way before Christ, that might not be the best of comparisons. Cause peace over there will just not happen.
Starr: I concur. Cheers Starr!!
(laughing at marilyn doin' the math....she beat me to it....)
the evangelical right has been supporting the state of Isreal for decades. The idea that somehow American Christians can influence any fufillment of prophecy with politics is just plain bugfuck.
I better stop now before I launch into rant-mode
Kat: No, kidding. It's not just the Christian Right either. Anyone who runs for office walks on eggshells when the subject of Israel comes up. Cheers!!
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