Mornin’ Peeps!! I knew it was only a matter of time, but I have finally won a major award.More on that in a minute, but first, a very brief wrap-up of yesterday’s Presidential Primary results…
Hillary Clinton won Rhode Island, Texas, and my state which is,
Vermonters turned out to show that they prefer to pour their fresh maple syrup on Obama Cakes.
John “Pontius Pilate” McCain put the final nail into Mike “Hay-Zoos” Huckabee’s campaign, and impaled The Huckster upon the cross of Presidential Wannabes.
So let it be written; so let it be done.
Already this morning, the blabbering political pundits are hypothesizing as to why H-Rod won three states.
I have heard it is due to her “3 A.M. Phone Call” ad, that Obama relaxed and played it safe, and maybe the Dems are having Obama “buyer’s remorse”.
These people are morons; don’t waste your time listening to them.
The reason that Hillary won these states is because she got more votes.
Let’s move on to the next contest or even better, cut some deal in order to work together and put Judas McCain’s Oval Office aspirations six feet under.
Now…
I received a message yesterday that I, The Matt-Man, was named:
Most Hilarious Blogger in the Universe for January and February of 2008.
The message stated that my site was...a unique blend of biting satire and informative pop culture rantings.
The message went on to say:
Rarely does a site contain such a mix of high brow humor and infantile jokes about becoming the Messiah or a lesbian porn star…Simply Brilliant!!
It continued...
Finding a writer who does thorough research upon topics, applies it with unmatched jocularity, and oozes unbridled sex appeal is a once in a blue moon chance.
I am truly humbled by this award, because unlike other "Best (fill in the blank) Blog" awards, this was not chosen through a popularity contest.
This prestigious honor was based upon the opinions of a completely unbiased group of judges, and I want to publicly thank the staff of Bagwine Ruminations for bestowing this award upon me.
Thanks Guys!!
That’s it for today my friends. Tomorrow is a big day so please stop by again.
Tomorrow is another edition of Half Nekkid Thursday.
I have a new HNT picture and even a brief Half Nekkid Matt-Man music video for ya.
See you then,
Cheers!!
115 comments:
Ut oh, I'm first again! I wonder what that means?
Skipping the politics...Congrats on your totally unbiased award! Well deserved!
Should I be ascarred for HNT????
Peace
Odat: HNT will be a blessing for both the soul and the eyes. Okay maybe just the soul. Cheers!!
oh.. I started to write a wordy comment, but my leelee brain needs more coffee.
Let me start by saying Congratualtions! to both YOU for your blog award and to Hillary for being one tough as nails candidate. If she can fight like this for her nomination she can sure fight for this country. A tough Bird she is!
Leelee: Thanks, I love when I give myself a major award. Hillary is still behind in delegates, but like her or not, she's a fighter. Cheers!!
Will you wash your feet before we get to kiss them?
Good for you!!!
DB: Washed or not, that's not something I would recommend...No, I surely wouldn't. Cheers!!
hmmm. That tuna noodle casserole actually looks good.
I am counting the hours til half nekkid Thursday. Enjoy your day!
Lisa: It was quite delicious, even Schmoop said it looked good...and she hates tuna.
Knowing you will gaze upon my Half Nekkidness tomorrow arouses my inner Mattliness. Cheers!!
WHO SPREADS THESE RUMORS ABOUT YOU??? Brilliant?? Unbridled sex appeal??
Schmoop! Knock it off! Just because you print it on the internet, doesn't make it true! (As much as you really do wish it, Hon!)
Metal: Don't blame Schmoop. It was my Editor who gave me the award...And we all know who my Editor is. Cheers!!
And I was bummed because I had to get up *early* to go a training class, but reading more of your - what was it? - jocular biting satire? - made it all worth it.
Desert Rat: You Arizonans are so very kind to me. Well, you are anyway...The other one who stops by here is a bit surly. Cheers!!
Dang it! That darn morning bile started to come up again as I was reading Finding a writer who does thorough research upon topics, applies it with unmatched jocularity, and oozes unbridled sex appeal is a once in a blue moon chance.
... good thing I had my cup of coffee handy to wash it back down! *wink*
Me? SURLY?! Geez, you can forget the kind and complimentary comment this morning. Your jocularity can bite you in the ass.
Pfffflllllt!
Dana: Don't fight it. It is obvious that your adverse bodily reactions towards me are merely masking your wanton lust for me. Cheers!!
Does this now mean that your weekly COW award is going to change to "COW's from Space?
Songbird: I wasn't talking about you...I was talking about another Arizonan...um...you know...um...McCain...Yeah, that's it...John McCain. Cheers!!
Cheesy: Nooooo. But that would make a great movie. "Movie Goers will be in shock when Earth is attacked by Udders From Above." Cheers!!
Good save, my friend, considering that you will be exposing yourself even more tomorrow for HNT.
Songbird: You know that I love you, and you love me. Well, you might not, after seeing my organ tomorrow. Cheers!!
No offense Matt but I don't think I be here for half naked Thursday with all due respect. When you say "all due respect" It means you can say anything right?
Roger: Hahaha...You touched upon something I find so damn funny.
Yes, you can say anything when prefacing a statement with that...
"With all due respect to Joe here, I find him to be an asshole."
Cheers and force your self to stop by tomorrow. Cheers!!
Small things don't worry me, darlin'.
Songbird: Now that was just plain hurtful. Cheers!!
I meant issues, darlin'. Geez, you're sooooo sensitive! Lighten up! You know I still love you, regardless. Must be that biting jocularity.
Oh Matt-Man, if you only knew ...
It is nothing more than my deep respect and utter AWE of Schmoop (how does she do it?) that keeps me from making the short trip to Bagwine to partake in Half-Nekkid Thursday AND your tuna casserole in the flesh!
Hey! Who plagiarized my thoughts? Unbridled sex appeal... ummmmmn.
Congrats to you and Hill! Winning feels great, doesn't it? In your case, this is richly deserved, unbiased or not.
Now, I'm awaiting HNT with baited breath. I saved some Velveeta for a breadless grilled cheese (someone commented to me that GC is bad for you, so my kid invented a breadless version that involves licking melted Velveeta) that I will munch while ogling your images tomorrow.
so our choices in november will be McCain, probably Obama, and Matt-man for President....
and of those 3, which one has won the most recent blog-award?
I'm glad the primaries are almost over so we can get to the down and dirty politics....
congrats on the award Matt...I'm glad I've been exposed to your blog....
The best thing Hil and BO could do now is team up to clobber John McCain for the rest of the primary season and count the votes. Then put them both on the same ticket in the fall.
But they won't.
Also the dems HAVE to change their primary rules. No way somebody should win as big as Hillary did yesterday and only gain 2 or 3 delegates. The delegate breakdown needs to be more proportional to the vote percentages.
Good job on your major award.
Thanks for the warning about tomorrow. ;-)
I was so excited about the award till I got to the "unbridled sex apeal" and realized that you bestowed the award on yourself... then I realized that if you can bestow that on yourself, there is no reason I can't bestow an equally true and exciting award upon myself, and since I'll be the only one getting it, it will be equally exclusive. I'll have to think on this.
Songbird: Nice save. Cheers!!
Dana: Don't worry about Schmoop. If you were to show up for a fleshy confab, she would appreciate you distracting me from her for awhile. Cheers!!
Winter: When you mentioned, "licking melted Velveeta", my wee wee moved. Thanks. Cheers!!
There you go touching yourself again.
Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.
Teamster: I'm glad you've been exposed as well. Vote Matt-Man. And I'm with you...
Screw the Primaries, let's get on with the General Election, down and dirty mudslinging. Cheers!!
Jay: I agree whole-heartedly with you on everything. And I know you'll be here tomorrow, 'cause you strike me as a train wreck watchin' kinda guy. Cheers!!
Marilyn: By all means do so...You have earned a well deserved self pat on the back. Cheers!!
Jeff: Is that so wrong? Touching One's Self? I think not. Cheers!!
Jeff, he has to touch himself. Schmoop's tired of doing it for him.
Songbird: I was wrong...You are surly. Cheers!!
It sure took CNN long enough to hand the win to Hillary in Ohio, didn't it. I swear Barack should move his headquarters to CNN so they can slob his knob with the quickness. Ahh for the days of ACTUAL journalism!
And dude, no "milky way" double entendre's? Did you biting wit bit off something else?!
Ah kin spel....
where's my damn coffee :P
Starr: And she won by 10 points. Let's just call him Ofawna.
I was too spent after stroking myself from honoring myself to make any Milky Way jokes. Cheers!!
Starr: Spelling dosen't count here. I am proof positive of that. Cheers!!
So, is this the "high brow humor" or the "infantile jokes?"
Here's an award from GB:
The Most Random Musings and Sweetest Ass in the Buckeye State Award
You, my friend, should be very proud!
Songbird: Yes. Cheers!!
GB: Hot Damn Baby!! You gave me the Booby Prize. Let me numb them. Num num num num. Cheers and Thanks!!
Never had them num num numbed before. But I did have them motorboated for the first time this past weekend.
GB: Ooooooooo, now that's a hot vision. Please feel free to email me the sordid details. Yum. Cheers!!
The reason that Hillary won these states is because she got more votes. Oh really Matt-Man. What a profound statement. Bwahahahahaha. Duh!!!
Congratulations on your award and two months in a row is really impressive.
So you really are going to do the half nekkid Thursday again. What more could you possible show us? The bottom of your feet. Have a great day. :)
Sandee: I cut to the root of the cause, don't I?
Hell yes I'm doing HNT. I will be giving everyone a slight peek of my organ, and no, I'm not talking about my tortured liver. Cheers!!
Wow, you won a major award! Congrats, nobody deserves it more. Did it come in a big crate? Is it one of those leg lamps?
Hey, I took a stab at some political humor today; something I never do...
VE: I felt I deserved to honor myself. No one else will. I shall whip over there soon. Cheers!!
For the love of all things pure, I hope what we see tomorrow is a Kimball and not a Mattball.
Songbird, I'm sure he'll let you be a surrogate toucher for Schmoop.
Jeff: Oh there will be balls, but not Kim's.
And the only surrogate toucher I have, is named "Lefty". Cheers!!
Grats on the award bud!
You're going to have to start a new blog to list them all ;)
Hammer: If I give myself a new award every week for a year, hell in one year I'd have...um...well, you do the math. Cheers!!
Did you get the pic?
Lu: Not yet Lu...Cheers!!
You and kid friendly in the same sentence? Hilarious in so many ways you goofster.....bias awarding I tell you, just like you.
Somewhere in the universe Ryan Seacrest can be heard saying: 'Huckabee. Out!'
Mama: It's all about the Cheeeeeldren. I am such a giver...to myself. Cheers!!
Mt. Cat: Ha, good one. Cheers!!
Matt-Man - what can I say?
YOU'RE MY HERO!!!
If I didn't visit you daily, I'd go psycho on serious-ness overload.
Please baby, don't - ever - STOP.
Angell: Glad I can help out dear. And thanks for saying two things no woman has ever said to me:
"YOU'RE MY HERO!!!" and...
"Please baby, don't - ever - STOP."
Cheers!!
I agree that the Hillster won because she got more votes but it's how she got them that exhausts me. I am of that rare breed who is tired of the negative craziness. At any rate, it's what worked for her and she has learned, now, a very valuable lesson for her own campaign. She can win if she slings mud and the only way for Obama to argue that is if he slings mud too which would make him a hypocrit. Well played politics!
Congrats on your award and on your candidate winning!
Now... enough if the politics! We wanna see you neckid!
Kyra: How did Hill sling mud? By asking who should answer a phone call? C'mon...
I'll be nekkid tomorrow!! Cheers!!
Obama did damage all on his own with his campaigns piss power handling (if you can call not talking about it handling) of the NAFTA issue. Hillary just capitalized on it. And come on Kyra. The crap Bill Clinton took for the supposed fairy tale comment counts as mud slinging. I like Obama but he is not the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Starr: In a word, "ditto". Cheers!!
WTF? I'm not saying he IS the second coming of Jesus Christ. I'm saying that I was refreshed to see politics changing. I like that he wasn't digging out all of her he ancient dirty laundry to ruin her when he certainly could have and I respected that the campaign seemed to be running on positives. I have heard too much from people that John McCain doesn't need to say anything bad about Obama because Hillary is doing a fine job of it herself. She goes nuts shaming on him all over the place and denouncing everything he stands for and then today she states that she would seriously consider him a running mate?? It's a game1 It's to make people think that a vote for her is guaranteeing them a vote for Obama as well and I think it's stupid. If you think someone is so underqualified and godawful then you shouldn't have them as your running mate. That's it.
I can't say anything about Obama... I can't like his policies or the way he campaigns or his character without getting comments on drinking kool aid or thinking he's Jesus. WTF?
It's just the candidate I am supporting. I'm not a fucking zealot and I won't try to change you opinions on your candidate or make you feel like some ignorant cult-follower because it is disrespectful to our democracy. I'm confused. I suppose the bottom line is we agree to disagree. As their policies are so similar, I understand that other things are being used to try to differentiate between the two. I'm just saying that her tactics and her personality and way of doing things is not a positive thing for me. Maybe it is for others, but it was not and will not be what I am personally looking for this election. That's all. Hillary did what she needed to do and it worked for her so... congratulations. It's politics and how things have been done for decades. She played a good game. And I'm not talking about the three am phone call...lol. That was just funny and now I get to watch the parodies all over the internets which are equally as funny. That's just weird to think that that ad had any sway of votes.
But anyway Matty... sorry to dispute things in your blog. Carry on! And just ignore me. I'm sick and a bit cranky and drowsy and full of Benedryl :-( And I don't care who you're voting for in any election. You're awesome!
Back at you Kyra. We can agree to disagree. I don't bother trying to change peoples opinions on politics or anything else for that matter. But if you have the right to say critical things about Hillary, *I* have the right to say critical things about Obama.
Fair enough, but can we not be critical of each other?
Kyra: As far as Hillary slinging mud at Obama, I must say that these two have provided us one of the most civil contests in years.
If you, or more importantly, Obama thinks he has been "attacked" he is in for a rude awakening, because he has been treated with relatively soft gloves.
The GOP slime machine that the late Lee Atwater created will be up his ass hard and often should he get the nomination.
I will end my diatribe by saying that I will now drop this subject and say that I agree with you that I am in fact, awesome. ; )
Cheers!!
Kyra and Starr: That is a beautiful thing. *sniff* Cheers!!
Matty: Well, at least we agree on something :-)
I wasn't making it personal Kyra. But Obama True Believers are starting to get on my ever loving last nerve.
Great Debate kids...it's good to see so many people engaged in the process..
keep on talking...it's a good thing!!
HUGS!!
Kyra: Common ground is always around somewhere. Cheers!!
Starr: Well, it can only last at the most 8 more months...well, unless elected. Cheers!!
Leelee: It is refreshing that people are paying attention. Cheers!!
Oh I will happily vote for Obama and even stump for him if he gets the nod. And if he wins the popular delegate vote then the Super Dels damn well better follow the wishes of the people and switch their votes to him rather than Hillary.
I'd rather have someone I am a wee bit leery of in the White House by FAIR means than someone I support via the old who you know or who you blow method.
McCain is a freak and needs to go buh bye. McCain Romney is a ticket I can barely comprehend :p
lulita sending you pics? nevermind.
um, all i can say is this - Dana HE is mine first. you can have my left overs of the Tuna and Matt-Man. ;)~
So i guess we can now say, You REALLY ARE "OUT OF THIS WORLD"! ;)~
Congrats on your prestigious award!
Did you slip 'em some spam or what?
As for the Huckster, can't be sad to see him go...
I was almost shocked that Hill/Bill took both Texas AND O-Hi-YO...
perhaps if Hillary gets into the white house she'll follow Bill's lead and stock the oval office with trashy ho's... will a "Men of Hillary's White House" calendar be far behind?
Of course, if the rumors are true, it would be a Beaver-Lickin' Pot Luck recipe book instead.
(Can't wait to see what tasty morsel Condi is submitting to that one!)
Starr: McCain/Romney?...We ahven't seen something that bad since Adolf and Benito go totgether. Cheers!!
Jahooni: Relax...There's plenty of me to go around, and unfortunately I mean that literally. But if you want to go first... Cheers!!
Mo: No...I just said, "Invent me an award."
Hmmmm...A lesbian White House calendar?...I vote YES!!
Actually, it was a lesbian white house cookbook.
Does anyone really want to see Condi Rice straddling Janet Reno in a calendar????
Mo just made me spit Earl Grey tea on my work monitor :P
And ya know what? Yes, dammit I DO want to see Condi straddling Reno. And maybe add in Ann Coulter for the UnHoly Trinity of Lesbian Doom :P
Congrats on the award you blog stud you!
My pretty place is all aflutter in anticipation of Half Nekkid Matty!
The Unholy Trinity of Lesbian Doom.
I think Matt-man just had to go take a cold shower...
Mo: A White House Cookbook with Janet and Condi? They could make Rice a Reno. Boo Yah!! Cheers!!
Starr: That vision was simply uncalled for. Cheers!!
Leighann: Mmmmmmm, your "pretty place". That sounds sweet. Cheers!!
Mo: No Mo, a hot shower with a scrub brush and Clorox. Cheers!!
Actually, it was a lesbian white house cookbook.
Does anyone really want to see Condi Rice straddling Janet Reno in a calendar????
LOL at what Mo said.
sent it from my laptop at home last eve. I'll try again tonight.
omg....lol
Rice a Reno. Boo Yah!!
too funny!
Leelee: Ha...I think my response to Mo was the funniest thing I have said all damn week. Cheers!!
Lulita: Thanks...I'll make sure to look closely for it. Sometimes I go too fast when checking mail...Much like when I type. Cheers!!
Another post that made me smile, Thanks :-)
Sindi: Well I am glad. Comments like yours make my day Sindi. Cheers!!
EIGHTY-FREAKIN-NINE COMMENTS?
I mean really WTF are you giving away here....Crystal Meth?
So your b**ch won a few states....she then acted like she had been elected Queen of the Universe....personally, she scares the spam out of me....
wait...did I mention...EIGHTY-FREAKIN-NINE COMMENTS?
OK, yeah i did...
Bond: Between you and I, it is now actually 91 comments, but who's counting?
As far as Hill, she is acting like a candidate, not someone who has been crowned.
She is acting no differently than any man who may have pulled off what she did last night. But since she's a woman, I guess that makes her a bitch, eh?
Cheers Vinny!!
Rice A Reno is way better than Crystal Meth!
Mo: Well it is kinda addictive, especially when served with a nice steak. Cheers!!
let's
get
these
to
100
Obama pack your Lama!
Well, didn't I just happen in at centenial time!
you're da man Micky-T
Leelee: Ha. Thanks you're the best dear. Cheers!!
Mickey: You're not only 100; you're 101 as well. Thanks my man. Cheers!!
Although it frightens me,
I'll be back tomorrow!
Micky: Ha...I am working on it as we speak. Cheers Dude!!
oh gosh what did i miss, seems like a nice steak with some rice of some kind! ;)~
Jahooni: I dont think so, but to mention steak to me before my meat fast is over, was very unkind. Cheers!!
how can i make it up to you ;)~
mnnnn.... steak, i mean tuna! seriously i meant tuna. that is what is on my mind. your dish that you ate last night **giggles**
Jahooni: Ha. Yes, exactly...tuna...Yum-Oh. Cheers!!
i am going to check my emails and then purchase some of your famous undies. ;)~
Jahooni: Mmmmmmm, I am going to go to sleep with that fact in my head. Sweeeet dreams to me!! Cheers Pal!!
Geez... What's the point of posting? 112 comments? I will be lost in a sea of bloggers...
Absurdist: No way...I throw every comment a life rope of response. Cheers Abs!!
Congratulations on the Ward, which was well deserved. Thanks for the election update which, of course, I already knew but not from the perspective of your jovially verbose prose.
Nick Ha. Glad I could put a humorous spin on things. Cheers Nick!!
Post a Comment