Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Charlton Heston Is Restin'

It’s a beautiful Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio.

Praise Jeebus and pry Charlton Heston’s gun from his cold, dead hands because Moses has left the building.

Heston was 84, he leaves behind a wife, two children, three grandchildren, and six damn, dirty apes.

We pray that the gun wielding, chariot driving, actor makes a speedy journey to that great soundstage in the sky in time to have dinner with Cornelius and Zira.

Funny thing about Heston…His life has somewhat mirrored that of fellow actor Ronald Regan.

They were both actors. They were Democrats who later became Republicans, and they both developed Alzheimer’s Disease.

What can we glean from this? Becoming a Republican makes one lose his or her memory.

If you need further proof, just take a look at former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and his comments to Congress.

Anyway, here’s to Chuck…Gun Rights Activist, Oscar winner, denture wearer.

Amen, and Amen.

And now, something that stuck in my crawl this week. Thursday night Conan O’Brien ran a video parody of Dubya and I believe the President of Romania.

The video showed Bush and the other guy at a press conference, both wearing headphones for translation purposes.

The foreign guy’s voice over said, “President Bush told me it would be neato if we joined NATO”…And then…

“He asked for headphones so he could listen to The Wiggles.” The song Fruit Salad began playing. O’Brien’s audience laughed.

Now consider this Bagwine passage from August 21, 2006...

“When I walked into the living room at 7AM, I was greeted by the sight of our President, still clad in lederhosen, watching “The Wiggles”, and singing along with them as they performed “Fruit Salad, Yummy, Yummy.”


I simply turned away and went to the kitchen to make coffee.”

For the entire post click HERE.

Coincidence? I think not. Mr. O’Brien will be receiving a very nasty email from me tomorrow.

I enjoy sharing the Bagwine, but Conan’s type of drinking of it demands compensation. Oy Vay!!

With that said, I must apologize for not making my daily visits to you all. My schedule has been turned upside down and today is no exception.

I will be gone most of this sunny day and will not return until this evening. I hope to catch up with all of you on Monday.

And now, our Sunday Serenade…Here’s to the impending doom and wrath I shall be imparting upon Mr. Conan O’Brien. Enjoy.




Cheers!!

If you can, make sure to listen to Turnbaby’s Blog Talk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.

40 comments:

Dana said...

What can we glean from this? Becoming a Republican makes one lose his or her memory.

That's why there are post-it notes and microcassette recorders. Some of us know how to "pass."

Matt-Man said...

Dana: And I bet you sound damn sexy on tape. Rowwrrrr. Cheers Dana!!

The Mountain Cat said...

Matt-man, Did you ever see the deleted scene from The Ten Commandments where Moses says 'From my cold dead hands will you take my walking cane Rameses!' ?

Micky-T said...

That's the first anything, I've seen of Wiggles.
I'm so drop dead on the floor impressed, I want fruit salad for brecky!

Matt-Man said...

Mt. Cat: Ha...No I missed that. Rats. Cheers!!

Micky: Impressed? That's the first time I have ever heard that uttered about The Wiggles. Cheers!!

Micky-T said...

I wasn't seriously impressed.
But what would impress me is, could it be you going for a walk in the woods today?

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Yeah. I thought that I woulde celebrate this beautiful today by going into the woods, drinking bagwine, and passing out in the middle of nature. Cheers!!

Odat said...

I was saddened to hear about "Chuck" when I heard it this morning...and I've never seen the Wiggles before...
But I'm sorry Conan stole your material!!!
Peace

Matt-Man said...

Odat: You had never seen The Wiggles before? You my friend, are one of the lucky ones. Cheers!!

leelee said...

I'm with Odat..never seen the Wiggles...kinda glad I missed that! Come to think of it...we missed teletubbies too...oh Thank you Jeebus.

Have fun doing whatever it is you are doin' today.

Matt-Man said...

Leelee: The Wiggles, The Teletubbies, and the Doodlebops are the Axis of Creepiness. Have a good day darlin'. Cheers!!

Jay said...

I've never like Conan anyway. Now I find out he's a joke stealer. So very disappointing. I wouldn't put up with that for a second.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I was shocked Jay...Nay, OUTRAGED!! Have a lovely Sunday. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

I knew there was a reason I prefer Craig Ferguson, aside from the fact that he's funny.

Have a great Sunday, Matty me darlin'.

Jeff B said...

I had nearly forgotten about the Wiggles.

Does that make me a republican or just fortunate?

Matt-Man said...

Songbird: Have a good one too Dear. Cheers!!

Jeff: You are fortunate...very, very fortunate. Cheers!!

Winter said...

Chuck's gone? What will the NRA do for celebrities without his support? Heh. As for Conan... shame on his red headed ass! I shall boycott his show forthwith and send off a scathing diatribe via email to him. The Wiggles suck. I did NOT need to see that. Have a great Sunday Matt!

Mo said...

You Damn, Dirty Blogger!

Said in my best Chuck Heston voice...

Tug said...

RIP Chuckie...

The Wiggles make me squiggle.

Wormbrain said...

You get extra credit for embedding a Wiggles video.
Bagwine Ruminations.. fun for the whole family.

.. though "Hot Potato" > "Fruit Salad"

Matt-Man said...

Winter: Conan must pay and The Wiggles must die. I'll catch up with ya tomorrow dear. Cheers!!

Mo: Ha...Hope all is well with ya Mo-Man. Cheers!!

Tug: Somehow, I find that hot. Cheers!!

Worm: I effed up your link. I'll have to fix it. Cheers!!

VE said...

Clearly you are a man ahead of your time and Conan should prepare for the wrath of matt-man. When I see Conan doing HNT and sporting an organ on his show...watch out.

Lu' said...

I don't think it to far fetched to think writer peruse the internet for ideas to use.

Biscuit said...

Oh, thanks for THAT earworm. It will take some heavy fire power from the the Biscuit music arsenal to get rid of that.

Matt-Man said...

VE: Damn Straight VE...And if he starts doing his show drunk, I'll know he's trying to emulate me full time. Cheers!!

Lu: It's actually not the first time I've seen a "coincidence" with my material. Cheers!!

Biscuit: I hated to put people thorugh this, but the song fit so damn well. Cheers!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

So…. Conan O’Brien’s writers have been perusing Bagwine Ruminations! Very interesting.

There is a simple answer to Two-gun Heston and Ronnie Rayguns cause of death: becoming a Republican hardens one’s heart to love and compassion and the hardening eventually moves up to the brain. Amen and hallelujah, Bro. Matt-Man!

Matt-Man said...

Nick: Ha...I would whole-hertedly agree but there are a few very sweet GOPers who visit Bagwine...As far as Conan, who knows? Cheers!!

Sparky Duck said...

I feel sorry for his family.

But

He was one of the most OVERRATED actors ever

Starrlight said...

I am with Songbird. I like Craig MUCH better. Conan has been rippin off Howdy Doody since birth, so his ripping off Matt Man comes as no surprise.

katherine. said...

maybe not conan himself....but probably one of his writers...interesting...very interesting.

I heard Bruce Willis is taking Heston's spot with NRA

"very sweet GOPer" that I am...

TheBirdman33 said...

I've made 2 decisions from reading this post

#1 I will never become a republican

#2 For making me watch FRUIT SALAD, I will never come back here. Its haunting me!

Jahooni said...

Read this early this mornin' after spending the night with my best friend, watching the kids and picking out her new kitchen over wine... lots i remember afrer 9pm ;)~
what was this about?
i didn't leave a comment earlier **giggles**

Matt-Man said...

Sparky: I agree. I don't think Chuck was all that in the thespian way. Cheers!!

Starr: I rarely watch him. I just happened to catch the clip on a morning news show. Cheers!!

Kat: That's what I meant, and yes when I was thinking of sweet GOPers you were certainly one who came to mind. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Birdman: Well, that hurts. It was funny though. Cheers!!

Jahooni: You gotta lay off the sauce Jahooni. Unless you are in my vicinity. Cheers!!

the teach said...

Wouldn't it be funny of the Lord said at the pearly gates "Mr. Heston please leave your gun at the door or you can't come in." HA!

Matt-Man said...

Teach: Ha. Yes it would. Cheers Mary!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

charlton heston makes me want to go shoot some fucking apes and part the red sea while screaming at the sky. for realsies

Matt-Man said...

Tequila: Ha. You're a mess. Cheers!!

Turnbaby said...

Oh My--is theft of Bagwine a felony?

Thanks as ever for the pimpin

Smooch

Matt-Man said...

TB: You're damn right it is. And you are welcome as always TB. Cheers!!