I am going to spend time today fixing and updating my Links That Make Me Drink, finally catch up on everyone’s blog, and…
Get to work on producing a Blog-Fo-Mercial ™ for a special someone.
Later, I will have to go to my new P/T job that I took in order to supplement my seemingly pro bono writing career, and anemic Bagwine Apparel sales.
Oh, and if you read yesterday’s post, you know that I have to send a scathing e-mail to Conan O’Brien.
Why do I share with you my daily schedule? I share, because I care.
I can impart to you a few things that I dreamed of last night.
I fell asleep watching a couple of specials on Ancient Egypt on the Discovery Channel. Doing that, greatly influenced my dreams.
I dreamed that I lived in Ancient Egypt and was a Pharaoh. My name was Akhenmattman I, and I rocked…
I led armies against the Akkadian Empire, put the Hebrews into bondage, and surrounded myself with a palace full of Nubian nookie.
Sometimes I had those busty harlots put me into bondage. But man did the place ever smell. Whewwww!!
In addition to my military, social, and 120 hour work week innovations I also did something else. I invented stand-up comedy.
More accurately, BAD Stand-Up Comedy.
I had the Nile Valley denizens rollin’ in their hovels. It helped to keep their indentured minds off just how miserable their lives were.
Here’s a couple of samples:
Knock Knock. Who’s There?…Hiero. Hiero, Who?…Hieroglyphics-Gram. Hahahaha.
Wow, who cut the goat cheese? ‘Cause it really Sphinx in here. Hahahaha.
How many slaves does it take to change a light bulb? None, because electricity hasn’t been invented yet. Hahahahaha.
Yep, not that funny to us, but the Hebrew slaves ate it up. I even had at least a dozen Jews begging me to let them be my agent.
Anyhoo, one thing about my dream is the giant obelisk built in my honor and likeness. It was unlike any obelisk you have ever seen.
I drew a picture of it for you…
Enjoy your Monday, and I’ll see ya soon.