Thursday, May 22, 2008

Half Nekkid Thursday: Memorial Day Weekend

This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend, a time we spend honoring our soldiers who have gone before us, right?

WRONG!!

Here's how we spend the time...

First we attend a parade, and delight in the pagentry of the floats and Marching Bands...



But...The parade quickly turns disturbing upon the sight of evil, candy throwing clowns and Shriners in little cars...



Yet, we still enjoy waving our American flags...Beautifully handcrafted by a 12 year old boy working for twenty cents an hour in a Beijing textile factory.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic


And then, it's back to the suburban backyard to enjoy a cookout consisting of that classic All-American food...The Bratwurst!!

Wanna Bite Mine!!?


Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!

Have a safe and fun-filled Memorial Day Weekend...

And may every soldier, from every war, who has passed on, find an everlasting and eternal peace.

I hope you can join me tomorrow for a spectacular, double-secret Bagwine Celebration.

Cheers!!

80 comments:

Dana said...

I am so glad I stayed up late for this!! First you put the Shriner's and clowns where they belong (smooshed into the pavement), then you offer me a bite of your brat! Now I can go to bed and dream the sweet Matt-Man dreams ... *gigglesnort*

The Covert Lover said...

Why am I suddenly so very hungry?

Desert Songbird said...

Whew! A red wiener instead of blue balls. I'm relieved.

I stand and salute your flags, sugah. Oh, and I bow to your brats.

katherine. said...

nothin' but bling and bratwurst

the curve of your leg and the curve of your bratwurst are disturbingly similar....and your sparkly chest is electrifyingly patriotic....

Schmoop said...

Dana: Mmmmmm. I'll meet ya in the dream. I'll bring brats and whipped cream. Yum. Cheers Dana!!

Covert: Well, I can fill your hunger pangs if you'd like. Cheers!!

Songbird: Thanks, and don'r bow to them...Eat 'Em!! Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Kat: And my thighs are every bit as juicy and meaty. Cheers Kat, here's a salute to you. Cheers!!

Lex Valentine said...

Now that's a juicy looking bratwurst! My mouth is watering...

I have to work on Memorial Day. We have a big event. Maybe I'll leave at 3 though. I have a yen to grill some big, fat weiners now...

Lu' said...

I don't know baby, if yours looks anything like the picture, I'd see a doctor. HHNT

p.s. nice pasties, salute!

Schmoop said...

Winter: Enjoy your big fat weiners Winter. Cheers Babay!!

Lu: There is a fine line bewteen delicious and infectious, isn't there? Cheers Lu!!

- said...

oh my holy hell~ u never cease to amaze me. i gotta say i LUV your holiday spirit; oh yes i do! and these facials of yours! u are making my morning a very CHEERful one for sure. just dont bbq your bratwurst 4 too long though~ just a word of warning from me 2 u because i care about your meat is why (giggle*giggle) ; D happy hilariousHNT 2 u mr funny man ; P

Schmoop said...

Smile: I'll make sure that nothing important gets burnt. Cheers and have a great weekend!!

Pure Temptation said...

LOL...You are a nut job! I love the sparkes and the Bratwurst! HHNT

Odat said...

I love the pasties...can I borrow them for Fleet Week?

I like my brats less burnt....and a little redder in the middle.

You're a nutjob Matt! A nice nut tho.

Schmoop said...

Naughty: Why thank ya. I'll be sure to stop today to gaze upon your hotness. Cheers!!

Odat: Ha...Enjoy the sailors. And I consider "nutjob" a compliment. Cheers Odat!!

leelee said...

WOW HHNT Matt and let me say, I feel so inspired and once again humbled by the patriotism that this great country inspires in some.

I love your boobie flags!

HUGS!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: Thanks, and when ones motto is "God, Country, Bagwine", it is easy to show one's patriotism. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Mmmm baby your bratwurst is so big and juicy I just can't stop staring at it.

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: Woo Hoo. It fits nicely between a set of hot buns too. Cheers LJ!!

Snigglefrits said...

Happy HNT Matt-Man!

Schmoop said...

Snig: Thanks and same to ya. Cheers Snig!!

Cheesy said...

Please hold~~As I wipe the mustard from my screen........

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Ha. Very Good. Better yet, let's hook up and make a Cheesy Dog. cheers!!

Johanne said...

Very creative!!!
HHNT!

RW said...

Very patriotic Matt remember when cooking brats stay back at least three feet in a clothing optional environment.

Schmoop said...

Searabbit: Thanks and HHNT to you. If only I would hear those words while having sex. Cheers!!

Roger: My one rule of nekkidness...Always wear an apron when cooking meat with spalttering potential. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

Now that woke me up!

I thought I'd be overwhelmed by your brats but I actually find your flaming nipples far more arousing. They're so sensual and subtle.

THIS is why the terrorists will never win.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...patriotic man-bosoms...and those are obviously Pope schlongs...you're like a cross between a Republican candidate and a vatican peep show operator...

Jo said...

Wow, you're packing back-up weenies...way to multi-task, Matt. They really do plump when you cook them. I bought a dozen yesterday & now I just know I'm going to think of you as I'm flipping them on the grill. Sigh.

Happy Memorial Weekend!

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Damn right, Dianne. My star spangled nipples are exactly what's RIGHT about America. Cheers!!

Phfrankie: Unwittingly, you just called me, Sean Hannity. Shame on you. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Jo: Well I hope you're smiling when you cook them. Just think of it as Mattmorial Day. Cheers Jo!!

Tug said...

Hot brats on a bun...

God Bless America.

Schmoop said...

Tug: Mmmmmmmm. And what I wouldn't do for a couple of Hot Tug Buns right now. Cheers and Rowwrrrr!!

Leighann said...

I've never liked brats.... and I still don't!

:p

Knight said...

I thought you had nice bling in the first two pictures so you can imagine my elation when I discovered your nipples all a sparkle.
So are you insinuating it's okay to bite?

Schmoop said...

Leighann: What about Matt-Wurst? Cheers!!

Knight: Okay to bite? Hell, lovely one, it's encouraged. Cheers!!

The Ferryman said...

My friend, you never cease to amaze and impress me. Bravo!

Greg and Sheryl said...

Thanks for pointing out the significance of this weekend. Happy HNT!

Schmoop said...

Mr. Fab: Why Thanks. If only you were a hot looking babe, I'd be set. Cheers!!

G&S: HHNT to you two, and have a great weekend. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

chopped beef, pork and veal wrapped inside a thin membrane...

OK, that IS you!

=]

Schmoop said...

Bond: In a way, indeed I am. I am one meaty man. Cheers Vinny!!

Ed & Jeanne said...

Are you suggesting you have 6 weiners? You almost have one for every day of the week? What happened to Sundays?

desert rat said...

You know, I'm getting ready to head to the AIRPORT and yet here I am getting my HNT fix before I leave.

You're always a breath of fresh air - tinged with aroma of nose-hair-frying fire, brimstone, and roasting meat.

I love the sparkles!

Schmoop said...

VE: The sabbath is reserved for a most fine meal. Prime, Grade A, tube steak. Cheers VE!!

Desert Rat: Thanks, but I can't help to be concerned. If you're getting on a plane and it crashes, me naked with a picture of bratwurst over my wanker may be the last image you have. I apologize. Cheers Rat!!

Vixen said...

LOLOL Fun theme. That second pic made me LOL. :)

TK Kerouac said...

Love a bite or your sausage!

cool post!

TK Kerouac's HNT

desert rat said...

I can think of a lot worse last images - Tammy Faye, Dubya, Speedy (the Alka-Seltzer guy). Oh, now I am concerned!

HHNT

Schmoop said...

Vixen: Ha. Thanks. However, when I actually see clowns and/or Shriners my face is much more contorted. Cheers!!

TK: Thank ya hot stuff. Bite Away. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Ha. Yeah, ya got me there. If you are flying, have a safe one. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

Be sure to use tongs on the brat--you don't want to lose any juices before you get it in your mouth;-)

Schmoop said...

TB: What a coinky-dinky...I was gonna say the same thing to you. : )~ Cheers TB!!

Unknown said...

You seriously have some fucked up parades there buddy, we do not do clowns and Shriners for Memorial Day around here...they actually insist it be called a Procession.
Just got treated to the High School Band practicing rigth out front a few seconds ago.
More than likely we will see them at least once more too.
I would be marching if I didn't have a pending surgergy, and the boys will most likely be marching in their Boy Scout Uniforms, the Scouts usually march.

Yummy brats, I'll be there quick, make sure to put the sauerkraut on!

Schmoop said...

Sassy: Yeah baby, brats and sauerkraut. Yum-Fricking-Oh. I'll save ya one or eight. Have a great weekend Sassy. Cheers!!

Sandee said...

I think I'm blind now. Bwahahahahaha.

I have a challenge for you...

The BlogBlast For Peace Meme ~ Join The Revolution.

Have a great day. :)

Cinnamon Girl said...

I was hoping for Blue Balls! Dammit now I am gonna pout.

Love your summation of our countries attitude towards these holidays. You capture the zeitgeist of a nation!

Jeff B said...

After that picture of your "sausage", you may have convinced me to become a vegetarian.

Schmoop said...

Sandee: Well maybe if I show it all, it will restore your sight, or at least your sex drive. Cheers Sandee!!

Starr: Sorry, but my blue balls are for my Doctor's eyes only. Zeitgeist...You know how to turn me on. Cheers Starr!!

Jeff: I think thou doth protest too much. Cheers Jeff!!

Marilyn said...

You always capture the spirit of these things so well...

I like shriner clowns, but I'm a little odd that way.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: It is that very disturbing quirkiness that I love so much about you. Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

Can you make my chest sparkle like that too?

I am hungry now after this post. In more ways than one! ;)~

God Bless America... God bless you Matt-Man!

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: Ha. I don't think I can make it sparkle, but I can buff it. Would you like a high buff or low buff? Either way I'm all over them. Cheers Jahoooooni!! Purrrr.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mmm, so thick and meaty. i want a taste of your sausagez

Schmoop said...

Tequila: Woo Hoo and Mmmmm. Tequila and Matt-Wurst. What a Combo. Cheers!!

Ken said...

If I ever drive through your neck of the woods, and think of looking you up to have a beer, it sure as hell won't be on a Thursday!!!!!

Schmoop said...

Micky: Very Good. HA. But it still hurt me to the marrow. Cheers Mick!!

Durward Discussion said...

The horror of it all. Six count them six severed bratwurst Avert your eyes children.

Ashly Star said...

Ugh, I HATE clowns. They should never be part of any parade, ever. =) Great post and pictures! Happy HNT!

Beth said...

Well, HHNT to me!! I just got steak! It was spectacular! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Cheers...HHNT!

Schmoop said...

Jamie: No brats were harmed in the making of this pictorial. Cheers!!

Amorous: Clowns are so very evil. Cheers!!

Schmoop: One Word...Rowwwwrrrr and thanks!!

Mariposa: Same to ya. Cheers!!

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

Oooh, you're so sparkly :)

Happy HNT!

Travis Cody said...

Clowns are certainly creepy. But the Shriners don't bother me so much...it's the Tall Cedars who can give me the heebies!

Schmoop said...

Ms. I: Same to ya hot stuff. Cheers!!

Travis: Ha. That was kinda funny. CHeers Trav!!

Ginormous Boobs said...

I wanna bite it! It looks pretty plump and juicy.

Unknown said...

Good Lord! I shall never look at the flag—or a wiener—again in the same way.

Anonymous said...

I'd forgotten about Memorial Day. Seems fitting, my friend Arielle was technically in the Army. She had an honorable discharge.

Schmoop said...

GB: What's mine is yours. Cheers!!

Nick: Sorry about that. It was unintentional. Cheers!!

Motley: Such a sad commentary on our youth. Cheers Motley!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Turn around...I'm gonna need some buns for my brat! ;)

Happy Memorial Day!

Schmoop said...

RLL: Rowwrrrr. Let the buffet begin. Cheers Real!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Matt Man, I love your stars and stripes. Does your hot dog plump when you cook it?
Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Schmoop said...

CrAzY: It plumps up pretty well...if I haven't had too much to drink. Cheers!!