Sunday, May 25, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Pleasures of the Flesh

See that sweet, cherubic face?

It’s just so, innocent and "girl next door looking", isn’t it?

Ha, don’t be fooled by it.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was hoping for a little sumpin’ sumpin’ on a Saturday night.

Well, be careful what ya wish for, right? Right!!

I am a broken man today as a result of a 4 hour Flesh-Fest.

That’s right, bitches, my wildest dreams came true (over and over again) and now I am paying for it.

I have to work 11-7 today, and my body is battered and bruised.

Schmoop worked me over but good. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it. Every one of the 240 minutes.

But wow…I now need a non-sexual massage and some high powered vitamin supplements.

And my back, dear God, my back!!

It is so scratched up, it looks as though Picasso and Julie Newmar hooked up and did an abstract interpretation of Catwoman on my canvas of flesh.

Our carnal carnival lasted so long, that we took a break half way through and ate some brats, then returned to our pornographic play time.

As part of our service today I ask for your prayers for a full and quick recovery, for the Schmoop wants a repeat performance tonight.

Amen, and Amen.

Have a great Sunday, all
.


Cheers!!

If you get the chance, tune into Turnbaby’s Blog Talk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.

35 comments:

Dianne said...

Holy Crackers! I'm quoted in the sidebar! And on a Sunday! The universe is aligned. Thank You Matt.

Your lovely lady has the look of the proverbial canary who swallowed the brat. Or was that the cat who swallowed the canary - or ... screw it - somebody swallowed something and that's usually a good thing.

As for your carnal injuries - what can I say - the price of being a living legend and a sex god.

Just walk it off. You can do it.

Schmoop said...

Dianne: You are so observant...It's been up there since Thursday!! ; )

I will indeed, walk it off, and later, work it out. I hope your weekend is going well, Di. Cheers!!

Ken said...

Easy now, pace yourself!

Schmoop said...

Micky: But these opportunities present themselves to me so rarely. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

That's the price you pay for getting older, sugah. All good things come with a price, especially at our age.

*sigh*

Schmoop said...

Songbird: On the flip side, age also makes times like these more appreciated. Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

^5 Schmoop!
Matt~brat~Matt..The sandwich of Champs!

Good thing Sunday is the day of rest....

Dianne said...

Since Thursday!? Crap the menopause is hitting me hard.

Actually since it was HNT I was so enthralled by the spectacle that is YOU that my eyes had no room for anything more.

Anonymous said...

Don't work too hard, Matt-Man. Have a good day!

Jeff B said...

Sounds like you're suffering from a bad case of back scratch fever.

Liz Hill said...

LMAO@ Jeff B--there's a COW if I ever saw one!

And YAY or the sex!!!

YAY Schmoop!

Durward Discussion said...

That is one way to erect a monument. Let us hope the South shall rise again.

Unknown said...

You poor man......NOT!
You just have to deal with it, when you ask you might get.

Lex Valentine said...

I'm wondering how you'll feel after round two. Will your aches and pain be worked out of you by then, or will your body be even more battered and satisfied?

Ed & Jeanne said...

Wow, impressive. 5 more hours of it and you could have watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy at the same time!

Unknown said...

I rather assume that you’ll recover.

Beth said...

I effin rule!! Hope you don't have to work too hard today dear, got me some plans!!! RRRAAAWWWRR!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Wait a minute. You have a great lay and are now looking for sympathy? Fuck you buddy! I should smack you with BOB.

Although, apparently Schmoop already did. You go girlfriend :P Did he walk like a geriatric afterwards? That is always so amusing. My ex is nearly 5 years younger than me and he'd hobble around like Tim Conway on the Carol Burnett show ;P

Beth said...

I only have one more comment to make... Starr, you are my hero!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Oooh...Schmoop you should totally make him call you Mistress Schmoop =)

Complaining about a great lay. The audacity! The Mendacity! The other acities!

Dana said...

Tell the truth Matt,, Schmoop had you weeding the rose bushes - that's how you got those scratches! I can't imagine you'd be complaining if it really were sex that did that to you!

Schmoop said...

To Everyone:

I just got home and I appreciate your comments.

Unfortunately I cannot comment to each of you individually at this time because Schmoop has a buzz; she's off tomorrow, and she's ready for round two.

Wish me luck; I'm goin' in...

Cheers!!

leelee said...

schmoop so effin' rules..

YOU GO GIRL!!

Dana said...

Don't be complaining tomorrow Matt, or I'll turn my trained killer self on you!

Travis Cody said...

I don't really have anything to say, so I'll just be over here fondly recalling a couple of times when some particularly vigorous romping left me happily unable to get out of bed the next morning.

That's sure as hell better than the normal reasons I have trouble getting out of bed.

Schmoop said...

Leelee; As a matter of fact, she does indeed. Cheers!!

Dana: I will not be complaining, but go ahead, turn yourself one me. Cheers!!

Travis: It's quite the nice affliction isn't it? Cheers!!

CreativeMish said...

Good for you!!

The Covert Lover said...

So you get what you ask for and then complain about it afterwards... typical male!

Schmoop said...

Michelle: Why thanks, and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!!

Covert: It's sad, isn't it. ; ) Cheers!!

Lu' said...

Press the flesh, amen :)

Schmoop said...

Lu: Ha. And so it was done. Cheers!!

RW said...

Here is some Vicoden Matt that and a shot of some bag wine will do miracles.

Schmoop said...

Roger: Mmmmmmmm. Vicodin. Cheers!!

Angell said...

Matt - I'm incredibly jealous. I can't remember the last time I WANTED to take the hubby out for a four hour romp. Now, some of the young studs I work with on the other hand....but that's a different story for a different time. Let's just say the last time I was sore after sex I was still able to get away with a student ID card.

CHEERS TO SCHMOOP - she's ma heeero!

Angell said...

Matt - I'm incredibly jealous. I can't remember the last time I WANTED to take the hubby out for a four hour romp. Now, some of the young studs I work with on the other hand....but that's a different story for a different time. Let's just say the last time I was sore after sex I was still able to get away with a student ID card.

CHEERS TO SCHMOOP - she's ma heeero!