Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: It's Party Time, America!!

It’s a bee-yoo-tee-ful Sunday here in Bagwine, Ohio.

Finally…FINALLY on Friday, the ace of the maintenance team showed up at the digs and fixed the A/C for good.

Praise Baby Jeebus and turn the thermostat down to 72. Let there be air!!

I will be gone yet again today until 7 this evening, but then I will be released from my weekend of bondage, and return to my normal Bagwine schedule.

I has gots some catchin’ up to do with all you lovely people.

This upcoming week, we will be discussing the origins of this great country as we prepare to celebrate our nation’s 232nd birthday on Friday.

Topics MAY include, but not limited to, the following:

George Washington: Founding Father, or America's Original Metrasexual?

Thomas Jefferson: Statesman, Inventor, Mocha Drinker

Ben Franklin: Is there any French chick he didn’t fuck?

And of course…

There will be an uber-Patriotic, Star Spangled edition of Half-Nekkid Thursday.

So there you have it…It’s gonna be a celebration, so praise GAWD, and prepare to enjoy, bitches.

Amen and Amen…

This week’s COW winner was a no-brainer. Because of her tireless efforts of babysitting Bagwine Ruminations in my absence, it goes to Schmoop.

Her comments over the last couple of days and those yet to come today, display insight, sarcasm, and, at times, utter drunkenness.

So for now, I am showing my appreciation by throwing the COW her way, and later tonight, will show it by throwing her a bone.

Here’s to ya Schmoop, I thank you much.

And now…Our Sunday Serenade.

In honor of my having to work all damn weekend, I present those madcap musicians from Akron, Ohio…Devo.


Cheers!!

If you are a fan of banality and/or a student of Abnormal Psychology, tune into Turnbaby’s Blog Talk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT., because her guest will be Vinny Bond. For details, click HERE.

32 comments:

Dana said...

CONGRATULATIONS Schmoop! You sooooo deserved the C.O.W. this week and so much more (be sure Matt-Man pays up later tonight!).

And Matt-Man, you forgot John Hancock: Was his signature any indication of his "Hancock Envy"?

Schmoop said...

Dana: Ha. Good One. Jon Stewart wrote in his book..."Hancock was really 23 feet tall, and was merely signing in his normal fashion."

And yes, here's to Schmoop. Cheers Dana!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Once again you show the undying man love you have for me...

It is quite like the man love shown between Martin Van Buren and William Henry Harrison.

Schmoop said...

Bond: C'mon, Vin. If I want to enjoy summer re-runs, I'll watch TV. Bada Bing. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

Throwing petals of love and admiration Schmoop's way. She ROCKS!!

You're a lucky Matt-Man.

really looking forward to the upcoming week. history makes me hot.

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Ha. I'll put on my professor's tweed jacket with the elbow patches, and rock your world, Di. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

It's a beautiful day here in Arkansas too, Matt-Man. I hope you have a great week. Schmoop did well in your absence. :)

Desert Songbird said...

I'm glad you finally got your A/C fixed. Maybe now your brain will function properly.

Schmoop said...

CrAzY: Good to hear and thanks. Enjoy your week as well. Cheers Tish!!

Songbird: Ha. Aren't you clever. I can't believe you zinged me on the Sabbath. Cheers!!

Lu' said...

Good goin Schmoop. You totally deserve it. Damn, the COW and the BONE. He giveth and giveth with little thought for himself, right? HA!

Schmoop said...

Lu: I'm...selfless. Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

^5 Schmoop! You ARE udder-ly faboo!

Holy cripes has it really been 32 years since the bi-centennial?? Pass me a scotch....

Durward Discussion said...

Don't forget to include Buchanan's "alternative lifestyle". Mr. King would be unhappy not to be included in your history the teachers never taught you.

CreativeMish said...

Looking forward to the Patriotic week! It sounds interesting! Where will you be hanging your flag??

Travis Cody said...

Yet again you demonstrate admirable wisdom and sense of self preservation by awarding the C.O.W. to the lovely and talented Schmoop.

Well done!

Odat said...

Congrats so Schmoop!!!! Yeah!! Well deserved.

Enjoy your day in the coal mine Matt!....

Peace

Cinnamon Girl said...

I feel your pain, Oh Working Matt Man, I did 9 hours yesterday and here I sit in my cube today. Of course it is 101 degrees out there so this is actually not a bad spot to be.

And now I gotta take my laptop to Seattle cause I MUST see what you do for HNT. Can I make inappropriate and not suitable patriotic comments about running something up the flag pole?

Oh and if War, Inc makes it to your neck of the woods go see it. Mom and I went last night and I died. Ackroyd does the most horrifically dead on Cheney evah.

Beth said...

Cheesy: Thanks! I've had fun doing this. I'll have some of that scotch!!

Jamie: Oh I'm very sure Matt will include several things we weren't taught in school!


Michelle: I'm a little worried about where that flag may be placed also!

Beth said...

Travis: I thank you for the lovely compliment! I hope I've done a good job here.

Odat: Thanks! Coal Mine? He sells my favorite thing...BEER!

Starr: Sorry about all of the work. I myself am on VACATION! That's why I just got up!! Damn, I'm a lazy ass!

j said...

Congratulations on the COW! I am going to read the comments from the last couple of days. Getting ready to be amused and I SURE do need some amusement.

I would let the darn thing go dormant before I handed over the reigns of my blog to Hubs. Matt Man is lucky to have someone BLOG WORTHY! :)

Take Care Schmoop.

Jen

Jay said...

Looking forward to a week full of Star-Spangled hilarity. And a day full of hot Schmoop action on the blog. ;-)

desert rat said...

Yay, Schmoop! You definitely deserve the COW!

Looking forward to the Hysterical, I mean Historical, retrospective this coming week.

Do you think Devo does their own choreography?

Beth said...

Jennifer: Thank you! I'm glad people seem to like my comments. I'm surprised he let me do this too! He's so anal ya know!

Jay: Ha! Would you please move out of Ar Kansas so we can be together??

Rat: Thank you my dear! Historical? Who's history? The real one, or Matt Man's? That video was choreographed? Huh.

desert rat said...

*Gasp* You mean Matt-Man's History isn't REAL!?! Say it isn't so! I'm counting on him to aid me in my Indecision 2008! I might have to revert to my fall-back position and poll fifth graders.

Beth said...

Rat: Oh it's real alright, in his own mind! Indecision 2008 huh? Oh I think he can handle that!! (Keep the 5th graders handy tho mkay?)

Crazy Charlene said...

my sunday isn't sunday with church disservice

congrats on the COW schmoop

~~~PLAWYN~~BGWD~~

Beth said...

Charlene: Thank you! Have a great day!

Kimmie said...

Hey Schmoop!

Congratulations of the COW Award. I have had my sister and my nieces visiting all week, so now I am trying to play catch up. You have done a fabulous job here the past few days! You cracked me up with your comments. You are definately a keeper, move over Matt-Man. ;-)

Kimmie

Beth said...

Kimmie: Thanks! I've enjoyed myself.

Schmoop said...

Hi y'all. I'm baaaaaaack. Well done and thanks, Schmoop. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

Congratulations to Schmoop; she does a fine job.

I’ve been partying for two days and Alex and I are ready for (another) catnap.

Schmoop said...

Nick: She did indeed, especially for someone who would rather just read blogs and not comment.

You two have a most fine rest. Cheers Nick!!