In yesterday’s post, I talked about the must have toy of 2008...
The Presidential/Vice Presidential Action Figures.
Monday, I introduced to you, John “Early Bird Special” McCain and Sarah “Lame and Tall” Palin.
Today it’s the Democratic Action Ticket’s turn to take the Bagwine stage…
Barack “Chi-Town Cicero” Obama*
This sleek, sinewy, Shaka Zulu lookin’ Senator, is not your mother’s Windy City homey. He puts the “Go” in Chicago.
Is your city, town, or hamlet in societal disrepair? Call the O-Man and he will organize the hell out of your community.
He will fill the food bank. Employ the indigent…And sink a round ball from three point range down at Tony Rezko Park while playing basketball with your kids.
He may look unassuming, but throw a tough issue at him and he can dance around it with more élan than Bill “Bojangles” Robinson.
Don’t worry ‘bout the switch blade in his coat pocket; words are his weapon and he has Svengali-Like powers. When in Rome, he’s referred to as Barackus Maximus.
Buy it today, and thank me Christmas morning when your kids open it up and say:
“Gee, Mom and Dad!! Thanks for the Muslim Action Figure. What an ironic gift on the birthday of the Holy Baby Jeebus!!”
*Bitch Slapped Hillary and I Want Your Cock Barack Olbermann sold separately.
And don’t forget the O-Man’s Ballot Brutha…
Joe “My Head is Exploding” Biden*
Unlike the other three Action Figures, JB is disembodied. That’s because he doesn’t need one.
He has a head full of knowledge and a mouth willing and ready to spew it out. He’s sneaky dangerous.
Some action heroes are strong…some are fast…some have X-Ray vision. Joe wears down evil doers by the sheer volume of his words.
He wears down opponents by talking until their eyes glaze over, and then smacks them upside the head by calling them a dumb son of a bitch…all the while with a sarcastic “you’re a dumbass” smile on his face.
His massive brain is so impervious to attack that not even two aneurysms could stop it.
“Leak all you want you bloody sacs. I have things to say.”, he says. And so he does…and does…and does…
Buy it today, and thank me Christmas Morning when your kids open it up and say:
“Gee, Mom and Dad!! Thanks for the Dictionary Doll. Does he ever stop talking?”
*Hair plugs and Shut the Fuck Up Filter sold separately.
Have a lovely day all.
Cheers!!
Listen to Turnbaby's BlogTalk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.
35 comments:
That Obama figure looks weird. The finger is longer than his foot. From so many people pulling it, ya think?
Songbird: I think we all lose it as we get older. Cheers!!
Winter: Don't get hung up on the details...Obama never does. Cheers!!
Uncanny how lifelike the Biden doll is.
Jeff: Ha. You dick. But I meant that in a good way. Cheers Jeff!!
Is it just me, or does Biden have an unusually large noggin? Or is it the high hairline?
Dude I was reading the Biden description and thought you were describing the Inflatable Matty Doll. It was the sarcastic "you're a dumbass" smile that threw me :P
so there isn't a biden doll....hmmm...
could the rumors of his stepping down for hillary be true?
could Barack be any more ape-like?
I want them all!
I want them all!
And I want them....NOW!
Starr: Ha. I guess we could be a bit interchangeable. But he has a far prettier smile than I. Cheers!!
Songbird: He has a HUGE head, and well...a high hairline as well. Cheers!!
Kat: Joe Biden IS a doll. Cheers!!
Dana: Oh no you didn't. Cheers!!
Micky: I'll send you a set Mick. Cheers!!
LOL at shut the fuck up filter
I am doing a re-run tonight so that we can see Randall Bramblett but thanks so much for pimping me;-)
TB: Well that's okay...Nothing wrong with sloppy seconds. Cheers TB!!
...what would Dolly Madison think?...
I need that STFU filter for the entire world. I have a stellar headache and these blinding office lights are NOT helping. I have that "I could say something career ending" feeling today :P
Phfrankie: She would think, "Why is a slave running the country?" Cheers!!
Starr: Ha. I have that feeling often, but seeing as I really don't have a career, it doesn't really matter. Cheers!!
LOL I'm loving the Shut the fuck up filter. I could use a couple of those on some people I know.
Lady Jaye: If I had one for other people, I would never use it. The more things people say, the easier it is to come up with blog fodder. Cheers LJ!!
Well technically I don't have a career either, I have a job. Contract Technician is sort of a niche job.
Which is fine with me I have never wanted a career. Did the whole supervisory crap and while I was good at it I hate be defined by my job title.
When I tell my hubby I want the big "O" for Christmas I better not get that doll. It requires a figure in action, but...
Starr: It's good to stay away from titles. As it is said, "To label me is to negate me." Cheers!!
Lu: I'm just the opposite. Using a doll is the only way I get the Big O. Cheers!!
Ha ha ha. Brilliant again matt-man! You know...I never noticed until now that Biden's head is shaped just like home plate. Somebody should slide into it...with the cleats first!
VE: Neither of them being very amusing, I found it hard to work with. But Ha, you're right. I wish I had picked up on his Home-Plate Head. Cheers!!
I'll take a Sarah Palin bobble head with some pig lipstick please WOOOHOO!
Roger: Being from Idaho, I thought you to be more of a Larry Craig kinda guy. Cheers!!
Evil: As useful as they would be, life is so much more fun without any filters. Cheers EG!!
I don't support your brother Larry Craig besides Sarah is from Idaho duhhhhh!
You are an equal opportunity bi-partisan MFer!
I love that.
Roger: I know. What compels one to move to Alaska? Cheers!!
Dianne: I try. Hey. I make fun of myself alot, why shouldn't everyone suffer? Cheers Di!!
I have a button that i push and I yell STFU all the time...
Comes in handy
Bond: Sweeeet. Kinda like an Easy Button. Cheers Vinny!!
I outgrew dolls many years ago. Of course I could use them as voodoo dolls! :)
Michelle: Oh if only Voodoo Dolls really worked. Cheers Michelle!!
As soon as you bring the Obama doll home all of your action figures drop to their knees in honor of his greatness. It's all very inspiring.
Jay: Indeed. He's like the Black Pope. Cheers Jay!!
Post a Comment