Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: And The Holy Baby Jeebus Said, "Let There Be Pie!!"

It’s another glorious Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio…Today, Sunny and 79 degrees.

I haven’t been able to keep up with all you beautiful Bagwine Heads.

I do apologize, but…

My beer peddling schedule has been busier than the receptionist at Paris Hilton’s gynecologist’s office.

Today is no better. I work from 11-7 today; catering to the masses as they pick up a little libation on their way home from a stirring religious service.

I worked from 11 A.M.-9 P.M. yesterday, and in my post I had requested that people pity me and bring me food.

By the grace of Mary, Joseph, and the Holy Baby Jeebus, my prayers were answered.
Now dig it…

First up, Schmoop’s brother dropped off a handmade, fresh made cheeseburger. Plenty of cheese, pickles, and off-the-grill smokiness.

Secondly…an older couple came through to get their weekend usual, and asked what I was doing there on Saturday.

I told them I was filling in. I gave them their order and they said that they would be back on their way home.

Twenty minutes later, they came back through, not to order anything else but to drop something off.

They had gone to KFC to pick up their dinner, and stopped to drop off two drumsticks, a biscuit, and a little bowl of coleslaw for me.

They said that I looked hungry. I think it was more being perturbed by working Saturday, but whatever works.

Late in the evening, a guy I had never waited on before came through. He wanted a twelve pack of Pepsi.

There’s a Donatos Pizza place next door to our Drive-Thru, and I caught the distinct smell of anchovies emanating from his car.

I asked him upon giving him his order, “Mmmm, you have anchovies on that pizza, don’t you?” He replied, “Ha, yes I do.”


“I love em’”, I said.

When I came back with his change, he handed me a napkin with three big pieces of pepperoni and anchovy pizza on top , and said, “We anchovy lovers have to stick together.”

I thanked him, and devoured the hairy fish laden pie. Yum-Oh!!

Today’s lesson comes from the Book of Menus…a little known Holy book that I talked about this past Lent. Click HERE, if you missed it.

The quote from Jeebus goes like this, “Feed the hungry, clothe the nekkid, and make sure Matt-Man gets his share of pie.”

Due to the kindness of friends and strangers yesterday, that Messianic directive was followed.

People, for the most part, are quite a lovely lot.

Enjoy the football today. I’ll be out there stimulating the economy. And with any luck, when I get off tonight, I’ll be stimulating Schmoop.

Cheers!!

31 comments:

Jay said...

Great now I'll probably dream about fried chicken, burgers and pizza. Or maybe just a chicken and hamburger meat pizza.

Or maybe just Rachael Ray. I'm sure she makes a good chicken burger pizza.

Anonymous said...

See! There are great people around! And great that they also know your preferred taste of foods! (well except for the pizza guy because you told him, obviously)

Travis Cody said...

There's some nice folks living out there in Bagwine.

Cheesy said...

Guess I better drive thru nekkid??

You can Call me AL said...

Anchovy pizza only works for me when I'm really drinking. I don't notice those salty bastards as much.

Lu' said...

Anchovy, never had one but it just sounds like a pie wrecker. Like ham and pineapple, not goin there either.

Schmoop said...

Jay: Ha. A rachel Ray dream for me would be a nightmare. Cheers Jay!!

DB: I have always thought that. It's just that the assholes in life stick out so much. Cheers!!

Travis: Of course they're nice; most have some type of buzz goin' on. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Ooooooo Baby, please do. I hope you had a good day yesterday. Cheers!!

Al: I looooove them. Unfortunately I am usually prevented from getting them on our pizza. Cheers!!

Lu: Yeah, Ham and Pineapple just sours my pizza sensibilities. Anchovies Rock. Cheers!!

Jeff B said...

Does the "Will work for food" cardboard sign you posted at the Drive-Thru influence these people in any way?

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Ha. No. It's all due to my charm and allure. No, seriously. Cheers Jeff!!

Dana said...

Do you think the church crowd will be as generous today? This could be a fascinating societal experiment!

Schmoop said...

Dana: I was thinking about a couple of ways to take off on this. I just don't think I should do it at work. I'll let ya know when the experiment is set. Cheers Sexy!!

Anonymous said...

Juicy grease, then more grease in a chunky form and you topped it all off with wet slimy fishy grease. you should slide right into this day!
Good Grease!

Schmoop said...

Micky: Maybe I'll take pictures. Cheers Mick!!

Marilyn said...

I have to move there. All the nice people are obviously in Ohio.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: There are good folks 'round here. And it doesn't hurt, that in spite of what a few people think, I have pretty good Karma. Cheers!!

boo said...

The sweetness of human generosity as expressed through food. Beautiful!

CreativeMish said...

It's nice your customers think about you and bring you treats!!

Dianne said...

you're a lucky MFer with (as you noted) very good karma

cool :)

Happy Sunday Night

Vodka Mom said...

You must be QUITE the charmer to have people bringing you FOOD! I had a dad bring me a happy meal to school last year when he brought lunch for his daughter! It was sweet. (That's the best I got....)

Unknown said...

Forget the words: that food looks grand and I haven't eaten in over 12 hours!

Schmoop said...

Boo: Yesss. Generosity one can eat. Cheers Boo!!

Michelle: Isn't it though? And on top of that it's goooood food. Cheers Michelle!!

Dianne: Good Karma yes, but I think it says more about the people bringing the food. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Vodka: Ha. That is a sweet story. I've been called charming before, but not in a good sense. Cheers VM!!

Nick: What the hell? Somethin' wrong? I'll be by soon to catch up with you. Cheers Nick!!

Desert Songbird said...

A veritable feast for your arteries. Must be that winning Irish charm!

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Yeah, I can schmooze. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

It's totally the Irish Charm, boy-o. I'd say that you need to get a higher profile job but then again, when you get KFC and Pizza and burgers for free I am not sure you can do much better. Cause you are good, but I don't know that you could talk yourself out of the trouble free pussy :P

Schmoop said...

Starr: Ha...You crack me up. I have an over-the-top (for most folks) coming up at midnight o' one. Cheers Starr!!

katherine. said...

wow.

you have so many people who love you that you are gonna have to do another soup year!

Janna said...

Donatos pizza!!
Back when Lee and Morgen lived in Cincinnati, they'd order it sometimes while I was visiting.
Yummy!
I miss it.
Wish we had it here in Michigan.
I wonder where the northernmost one is (in Ohio). Just how far south would I have to drive...? Hmmmm.

Schmoop said...

Kat: No kiddin'. It's all tasty but man, I may balloon back up. Cheers Kat!!

Janna: I bet there is at least one in Toledo. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

It's so cool that people bring you food! Here in California I would wonder what evil drug or poison was in it...