Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: The Good With the Bad

After a week of temps in the 90’s, this Sabbath will find us basking in a refreshingly cool and sunny day with a high of 75.

I, as I do every Sunday, will spend it dispensing beverages and smiles while working 11-7. No football watching for the Matt-Man until tonight.

That’s a shame, because I will be unable watch how my players in Jay’s Cynical Blog League are doing. My fantasy team, the Bagwine Boners, are sure to be contenders…

Contenders for what, I have no idea as of yet.

While perusing the Bible last night, I struggled to find a message for today’s service.


It did not come from the Bible (although I caught myself once again getting aroused while reading about Lot‘s daughters). It came from my TV.

In life, we will encounter both miracles and hardships.

Yesterday, miraculously, the Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish managed to overcome their anemic offensive output and decisively eke out a win against those perennial contenders for the National Championship, the Aztecs of San Diego State.

Praise be to Our Lady and the Holy Baby Jeebus.

What is the hardship you ask? Two words, one name…Brent Musburger.

For all that is good and holy, we ask ye O Lord, disengage his vocal chords and banish him to the vast wasteland that is late night cable.

In your name, we pray…Amen, and Amen.

And now, our Sunday Serenade, of sorts…a little something different.

First, Jay blew his wad all over the internets. Soon after, I joined in. Knight couldn’t resist the allure and did it all over her bathroom, refrigerator, and living room.

Not to be outdone, Dana showed her assets while driving on the public interstate system, with her son next to her!!

And now, somebody else has gotten their freak on. Who is it? What the hell am I talking about? Click HERE to find out.

Enjoy your Sunday and the full force Kick Off of the NFL football season.


Cheers!!

19 comments:

Cheesy said...

OMG!! Brent is still alive?

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Yes, and even worse, he is still broadcasting. Cheers Cheesy!!

Jeff B said...

I love the way Schmoop says, "Butt-her-cream".

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Ha. Of course you do, you perv. Cheers Jeff!!

Desert Songbird said...

Jeff is in rare form this morning. Not even 7:30 here, and he's using "Butt-her-cream" and obsessing about Beth's rug.

Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

Bagwine Boners...hehehe and snicker snicker.

Best name I've heard for a team in eons.

Cheers

Unknown said...

Ah!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts

CreativeMish said...

And now I'm sunny with a high of 75
Since you took my heavy heart and made it light
And it's funny how you find, you enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive..
Relient K

Anonymous said...

Please tell me you've played the Brent Musburger drinking game. I think you could truly appreciate that. Check it out http://www.fanblogs.com/ncaa/005660.php

Dianne said...

Who's the sports asshat that likes to play rough sex? I always confuse him with Brent! Anyway they both suck.

I have no idea what I'm talking about. Schmoop got me all worked up!

jillie said...

New look but same ole Matt!!!! Glad to see some things don't change...I've been a slacker lately. Just stopping by to say CHEERS TO YA!

Jay said...

Next time Brent does a game, just drink every time he says "padna." You'll be drunk for a week.

Dana said...

Don't look now, but the Bagwine Boners are banging away at the Amazon Gargoyles *wink*

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Jeff was on it this morning, wasn't he? Er, so to speak. Cheers!!

Daivd: Thanks for stopping by. And yeah, their name may be better than thei record when all is said and done. Cheers!!

Evil: Thanks for praying along. Cheers EG!!

Schmoop said...

Nick: I have played far more than I care to remember. Cheers Nick!!

Michelle: That was nice. I like that. Cheers!!

Lady Jaye: Ha. No, I haven't played it but am well aware of it. Cheers LJ!!

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Ha. You're thinking of Marv Albert. What a freak. I get worked up when you say, worked up. Cheers!!

Jillie: Hiya!! Eh, we all fall behind. I hope all is well with ya, hot stuff. Cheers Jillie!!

Jay: I am torn whenever I see and hear Brent. I never know whether to drink heavily or just frickin' kill myself. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Dana: Isn't it fun playing contact sports with each other? You have the High Score so far this week, and I'm number two. Even if my kicker doesn't come through tomorrow, I can enjoy being directly underneath you. Cheers!!

Knight said...

Everyone loves a good shower vlog. Especially the intoxicated kind. Excellent directing Matt-Man.

Schmoop said...

Knight: Ha. I thought about donning a wig and stabbing Schmoop, but that is soooo 1960. Cheers!!