Happy Friday all.It is with a not so heavy heart, but more of a pragmatic, and in some ways, an ethereal heart, that I pass the following on to you.
On September 30th, I put forth a proposition to Schmoop, and asked her to marry me.
After waiting all fricking morning, she finally said, “Yes.”
Well, the wedding is off. I know, you’re crushed. Okay, some of you are saying, “I am glad that she came to her senses.”
Nonetheless…
A conversation took place prior to Election Day, and well…for a myriad of reasons, we mutually agreed to put the icksnay on the edding way.
We also then went on to make fun of people who speak in Pig Latin, but I digress.
Schmoop and I have been together for eight years now. We have lived in sin together, cried together, experienced each other’s weaknesses, and delighted in each other’s strengths.
Seriously, how many folks have someone like that in their lives, married or not? Far fewer than we think.
Our decision isn’t an indictment on marriage. Marriage is great for some. But, we both felt that, in our case, marriage isn’t for us.
We are happy with the way things are. Nothing has changed.
I will cook. She will clean, and in the meantime, I will continue to swat her on the ass with lust as I pass her, and say, "You are so hot."
And she will call me a "dumb ass" with a smirk upon her face and a sarcastic fondness in her voice...and after all of these years, still blush.
More importantly, every night, prior to her going to bed before me…
No matter what tribulations the day has brought about upon us, she will look at me, and I at her, and we will say simultaneously, or otherwise, “I Love You.”
And really…What more can one ask than that?
Not a damn thing.
Cheers!!
46 comments:
I still think y'all need to throw an Unwedding Blow Out, with lots of beer and bagwine flowing. You make the loosemeat, I'll bring the vodka and lemonade.
Can I still bring bitches and beer for a I am stayin a bachelor party?
Married or not, it's really about the last three sentences you wrote.
Cheers to you both.
The reception is still on though, right?? At least now it won't be cheating when I kiss Schmoop! What? You thought it was you I was waiting to kiss??
Dude I was just kidding about crashing the reception. Seriously, don't call off the wedding just because you're worried about the damage I might do there. ;-)
Sinners. You will SO be burning in hell. I'll have the marshmallows and liquor ready. Satan throws a helluva shindig. ;)
so...do we cancel the plane tickets?
I mean we all care deeply about you and schmoop...and your love and committment to each other.
But what we REALLY want to know is if we can all still come to blue ohio for the party???
Songbird: Mmmmmmmmm. Vodka and Lemonade. Yum-Oh. Cheers!!
Starr: Seriously...You think you need to ask that? I think you know my answer. Cheers!!
Travis: You, my good man, are absolutely right. Cheers!!
Dana: But of course it is...and I had resigend myself to the fact of who it was you wanted kiss long ago. Cheers!!
Jay: No wedding but you are more than welcome to come up anytime and trash the place. Cheers Jay!!
Allie: Will there be olives? Cheers!!
Kat: I would be crushed if you didn't show up on our doorstep someday. Cheers Kat!!
I love the idea of an un-wedding celebration!! A kind of NOT sharing of the vows....I''ll wait for the invitation!!!
Vodka: That is a great idea indeed. I'm working on the plans as we speak. Cheers Vodka!!
Dianne: Not to mention fucking up her credit rating. Cheers Di!!
And here I was thinking it was off because you are both gay and live in California??
:o) [hey I HAD to toss in some poilitics... withdrawls and all]
As my Grandmother told me years ago when I told her that I was going to marry at 17 [and had a bun in the oven]....
"Oh sweetpea you two are married in the heart anyway, why screw it up with paper?" She was a character!
Cheesy: I love your Grandmother. Not because of her words of wisdom, but becuase she used the word, "screw". Cheers Hot Stuff!!
I'm with desert songbird on this one.
UNWEDDING DAY BLOWOUT BASH - and I'm still making the road trip in from Toronto.
And I'm also with diana - marriage fucks it ALL up (says the woman who hasn't had an orgasm with her husband in five years :P OOPS- was that TMI?)
LMAO.
In reality -you guys are perfect together just the way you are.
Angell: I think Schmoop will confirm (are you listenin' Schmoop?) that orgasms have been a new experience for her since meeting me.
And thanks, we may not be perfect together, but we are pretty damn happy. Cheers Angell!!
Damn it...I have all this rice. Who'm I going to throw it at now???
Plus...you have to warn me if it's gonna be a kissing post. Where's the sword fighting? Sword fighting is good...
I totally agree that it's about whatever works for you. Marriage is great for some but not for everyone. It is totally for me but not for my ex-husband (ha!) As long as there is love it doesn't matter. I do agree w/ the person above that said you should have an Unwedding Bash. I love it.
Cheers to NOT getting married! And I totally dig that pic, I'm going to print it out and sleep with it under my pillow!
VE: HA You're a mess. Just so you'll feel better...after the kissing, Schmoop and I role played as Basil Rathbone and Errol Flynn. Cheers!!
Lady Jaye: I will actually give considerable thought to an Unwedding Bash for this summer. It's sounds like fun. Cheers LJ!!
Leighann: Why? 'Cause like Dana you want to swap spit with Schmoop? That works for me, if I'm allowed to watch. Cheers!!
Whatever makes you happy. My brother is still not married after 15 years of being with his 'gal pal'and they are happy. But at least get Schmoop a piece of jewelry....large and sparkly!!
I love you baby! What's for dinner?
I like how you said it. I just had a similar conversation with my boyfriend. The things are good they way they are, let's not fuck it up talk. It was good.
If Schmoop isn't into jewelry you could celebrate your un-engagement with leather. Jackets or whips. Whatever works for you.
Schmoop: We do have two pounds of bacon in the fridge. Say the word and I will defrost them. I love you too, Schmoop. Cheers!!
Knight: Once again, you have said the magic word...Schmoop does like a good, hard ass stinging. It's her only somewhat freaky quality. Cheers!!
Yes but... The picture of you two rocks in many ways.
Lu: Thanks for saying that. I thought it was kinda cute. Cheers Lu!!
Giggle: I still love your name...You are right, I Love You's, when they are true are the best. Thanks and I am going to catch up with you this weekend. Cheers, GP!!
You do realize that you're throwing away any chance of getting new linen now, don't you?
But really, it seems like you've got more together than most married folks.
Fantasy: I was just hoping for a new quilt for the couch I sleep upon. I am soooo dissed. Cheers!!
You are both very lucky to have each other.
I am in total support of an unwedding bash. In fact, I think it should become a national fad. Also, you might be able to finagle some gifts out of the deal.
You two rock.
LOL at VE.... "Murdered by pirates is good."
Karen: I think you are quite right. We are lucky in that regard. Cheers Karen!!
Marilyn: It's not a bad idea at all, but one thing...don't emcourage VE. Cheers!!
is bagwine on the way to sturgis south dakota?
we could do a "run" out there...
Teamster: No it's not, but there is a good biker bar two minutes from my home. Cheers!!
Feel good......
A piece of paper will never strengthen what you 2 already have, and I totally get that. Much congrats on the nonwedding, and best wishes for the continuation of love!!
Tug: Why thank ya and it's good to see ya. Cheers Tug!!
hmmmm, am I the only one sad over this news? Guess I am just clueless and the hopefully romantic. I've always felt it is not all about the wedding and the party, but rather the marriage and the promise of the life shared together. You do not need a peice of paper for that, but I hope that you still have that commitment, loyalty, trust and forever-ness with each other to look forward to. Don't mean to rain on your no wedding celebration, I am just terribly fond of the fantasy of happily ever after..Cheers Baby!
Snugs: Eh, it happens. I like that you have those feelings however, but no worries...as I said, nothing has changed between us. Cheers to Ya!!
My Handyman and I lived together for 7 years before we tied the knot. Nothing really changed except I have his name now! LOL! I think its whatever you feel comfortable with..
Michelle: Darn Right. And him being a Handyman, I bet he can tie one helluva knot. Cheers Michelle!!
That's so cool. I'm really glad she kept you waiting "all frickin morning." You probably deserved that for asking!
Kanani: Ha. You may have a point there. Have a nice weekend. Cheers!!
Puck that paper if it's what feels right! You got it going, just the way, YOU GOT IT GOING!
Your 30 word line, that starts in no [or is it know?] and ends with you...tells the story!
Does that mean you'll fix the windshield wipers for her?
[chuckle chuckle dude]
Micky: Ha. Maybe. Welcome back to the internets. Cheers Mick!!
Post a Comment