Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Benediction of the Ballot Box

It’s a partly cloudy and unusually warm for November Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio.

And…there are but a mere 48 hours until we elect our next President.

Will it be Barack “Lobes-a-Licious” Obama or John “Early Bird Special” McCain?

Will the polls hold true for the O-Man, or will complacency among his supporters and some type of deus ex machina snatch victory from the jaws of defeat for Johnny Mac?

Interesting times, my Bagwine friends, interesting indeed.

I will be manning the beer sales from 11-7 today, so perhaps I will conduct my own informal poll.


On second thought, that might disrupt alcohol purchases, as well as being an affront to the Sabbath.

As you can tell by the picture, I received my pre-Election Day head shaving yesterday in the first step of preparation for this historic election.

Schmoop and I are all ready for our trip to the polls on Tuesday. We are going to leave the digs at 6 A.M. and head to our voting site so we are in line when the doors open at 6:30 A.M.

After that, it’s back to the Bagwine abode where I shall make an Election Day breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs with peppers and cheese, heavily buttered toast, hash rounds, and…BACON!! Mmmmm, bacon.

After that, Schmoop will go to work and I will have the hot babe from next door over, and punch her chad a few times before I do a brief 4 hour stint at work myself on Tuesday evening. I’ll be back at 9 or so…so I’ll catch most of the returns.

And there you have it…my election day plans.

I don’t know what your plans are for Tuesday, but Holy Baby Jeebus, I hope your day includes taking the time to vote, if you haven’t already done so.

Even if you are undecided about the Presidential race, or aren’t thrilled with either candidate…I’m sure there is some race or some issue on your ballot that deserves your attention.

Amen, and Amen.

And now, in honor of the ginormously important event taking place on November 4, I give you Simon and Garfunkle singing, American Tune.







Cheers!!

28 comments:

Ken said...

Indeed! This is an event for the history books, the voting records will show. I don't know how to make this funny so I'll just bring it up right here on the frontpage, not so primetime at Bagwine.

This Bradly Factor thing, I understand people talking shit before an election and then voting differently than any of their comments to polls or whatever.
So my friend, what about a Charlie Factor? You know, all those mouthy, good old boy types hanging with their buddys talking shit, God bless and I ain't never voting for no damn ni%%er, this is America, screw those liberal hippy types, bla,bla,bla where's my shotgun? Some of these boys get in that booth and start thinking about how much it hurts that he can't buy his kids the toys they want and how the hell can I send them to college and all the regular guy money miserys this country is going through right now. And he pulls the,... O lever, never to utter a word to his good old boy buddys.
Any thoughts?

Schmoop said...

Micky: There may be a "Chrlie Factor". I don't think there would be one if times were smooth and untroubled economically, but this year there may be one.

However, I don't think anyy Charlie factor would be significant enough to seriously affect whatever the outcome may be.

Cheers Mick, and I got the "stuff" from ya. Thanks!!

Jeff B said...

My ballot has already been filled out and placed in the drop box at city hall.

Yes I'm taking heat from a number of people in the church who wouldn't dare vote for Obama, but that's where this Christian has already cast his vote. Many of these people preached the same message about Bush and I was duped into believing his was the correct moral choice. Not this time!

I certainly don't agree with everything the O-man stands for, but the Mac and Cheese ticket scares me too much to give them my vote.

Desert Songbird said...

I already cast my vote several weeks ago, as I've said before. I'm hopeful (as I've said before) that people will give their voting choice some serious thought this year and not be swayed by naysayers, propaganda, and lies. Of course, there are always some that are; that's why propaganda works. But I remain hopeful for our future.

I have to. It's in my DNA.

Cheesy said...

Gawd I love Oregon's vote by mail! I voted a couple of weeks ago so I think I will rest up Tuesday for a day of debauchery Wednesday!

Dianne said...

'American Tune' could have been written today. Timeless music. Thanks for that, it made me cry but it was a good cry.

I certainly hope it will be alright. This woman is weary to the bone.

Peace Matty

Jeni said...

I just finished my weekly "Bushisms" post -stop by and read the wonderful words of the DUBYA along with my comments on all the freaking phone calls begging me not to vote for Obama, but to look some more at Johnny Mac. Sorry folks, I've already done made up my mind, a few months back during the PA primary and Obama will get my nod, no two ways about that!And, like you, I put in an extra request to PLEASE VOTE!

Anonymous said...

I will have to stand in line on Tuesday and do my American duty...voting that is.

Jay said...

I plan on turning on the TV from time to time on Tuesday and watch the cable news channels show all the people standing in line to vote all around the country. At that point I will point at the Tv and yell "HA! SUCKERS! I VOTED LAST TUESDAY!"

And then I will go on about my business for a while.

On Tuesday night I plan on drinking some very good Belgian beer and watching the returns roll in.

katherine. said...

I like to vote in person.

Most of our rather large congregation is pro-Obama...but that has more to do with our city than our religion...and both McCain and Obama have professed to be BA Christians (Born Again Christians)

and just to provide the BA Christian viewpoint here in bagwine....(BadAss Christian)

our church doesn't give voting advice...they do however remind us of our three duties as Christian Citizens...

The duty to pray
The duty to be informed
The duty to vote

Cinnamon Girl said...

Add yet another Praisathon for Oregon's vote by mail. Which is somewhat of a misnomer as we don't have to mail them back. There are drop points at virutally every county office and all libaries. As well as special drop points on Monday and Tuesday of this week. AND several 24 hours drop boxes to drop ballots off any damn time you want. It is a glorious system.

I am making some phonecalls today for the O-Camp. They make it stupid easy to do from their website.

I will be driving home at warp speed Tuesday to watch the returns. I expect half of the office will be congregated around one guys portable TV during the day.

Kidlet and I are gonna eat steak tomorrow night at Outback and raise up our prayers for a good outcome.

Christo Gonzales said...

holy hopscotch in a ziploc I cant believe I keep coming back....dang it ohio we are counting on you...

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Ha. Mac and Cheese ticket...I like that. Glad to hear you voted. Cheers Jeff!!

Songbird: Always hopeful as am I . Cheers and hope ya feel better!!

Jeni: I always love a good Bushism. I'll be by to check ya out. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: I'd love to join you for a hot debauching session. Cheers Cheesy!!

Dianne: Yes it could have and that's why I played it. Love the song. Cheers Di!!

CrAzY: And do it you should. Have fun in the lines. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Jay: You're going to drink Belgian beer on Election night? That is so un-American. Cheers!!

Kay: Nothing wrong at all with those three duties. And I also like to physically go to the polls as well. People watching is inexpensive fun. Cheers Kat!!

Evil: Enjoy the lines and help keep that dastardly duo in check. Cheers EG!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Mmmmmmm. Steak. Obama's office here in town wanted me to go door to door but it was during the evenings. Alas, beer sales come first. Cheers!!

Doggy: Ha. I'm like crack. Hey, I hope Ohio isn't responsible for another 4 years of arrogance in the White House. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Oh please! You gotta be kinding me! I can call AND drink beer. They give you the names, numbers, a script to read and a map with direction to the person you are calling's polling station. It's cake.

Travis Cody said...

We'll be in line at 7am Tuesday morning.

Schmoop said...

Starr: Oh I know...I have done that many times. we had a sweet call center set-up at our office in Columbus when I worked for SEIU. Cheers!!

Travis: Sweet. I think going to the polls is just much more fun. We may videotape it and post it Tuesday. Cheers!!

Marilyn said...

I'm waiting till Tuesday to vote just to spite those people who call me every other day and try to talk me into voting early.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: And that my friend, is just one reason why you rock. Cheers Marilyn!!

Christo Gonzales said...

I WILL blame you beyotches...

Cinnamon Girl said...

I called some of your people today, Matt. I also told them that based on news report they best plan on getting there early and being prepared to wait. Most said then didn't care HOW long they had to wait. I get the feeling that this time around, us "wimpy" Dems are a bit fired up ;)

Schmoop said...

Doggy: Have at it. It's nice to be noticed. Cheers!!

Starr: And you didn't call me? I'm crushed. I hope the fire lasts just a few hours longer. Cheers Starr!!

Dana said...

Not only is voting a right, it is a privileged. And this election? One of historic proportions. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd have either a black man, or a woman, in the office of President or Vice President. I think every parent of a child who has said, "Anyone can be President" feels a bit vindicated this election.

Schmoop said...

Dana: Dear God, I hope you are wrong...After all, have you seen some of the kids today? Cheers Dana!!

leelee said...

wow...that song made me cry this morning..

thank you for posting it Matt!

HUGS!!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: I love that song, and as Di said, still quite timely. Cheers to ya, Cutie!!