Schools were closed yesterday and are once again closed today. It's been chaos in the Greater Bagwine metroplex. Chaos I tellz ya!!
But...
It's also kinda pretty outside. So I shall share with you some images and a very brief vlog of the Great Bagwine Winter Storm of 'Aught Nine.
Take it away, Skippy!!
The Bagwine Mobile....
The ice on the door cracked when I tried to pull it open...Kinda cool looking.
And there you have it. While I mananged to clean the Bagwine Mobile off, it's still stuck.
I have to go work on getting her moving this morning because our alcohol and tobacco supply is running dangerously low.
Have a Thursday, Bitches!!
Cheers!!
Update (2:11 P.M.): Holy Cow...I did get beer and smokes but, oh my God...Schmoop has started. Where'the justice? Okay, maybe that is justice. But, I don't like it.
42 comments:
Nothing worse than running low on alcohol. Nothing.
Fantasy: You are sooooooo right. And your observation is especially true in this household. Without it, Schmoop and I can't stand each other. Or ourselves, for that matter. Cheers Meg!!
Au contraire, mon ami, I remember all too well what ice storms were like. (Why do you think I live HERE?) And you got snow on top of it? What a bitch! Hope you made it to the store for those necessary "supplies."
Songbird: Haven't made the party supply run yet. I have yet to go out and free the front tires from their frozen bondage. But will do so soonly. Cheers!!
Let's see--we have about an inch of crunchy ice covered with a 1/2 inch glaze of slick ice covered with about 3 inches of snow--trees everywhere. My car is imprisoned and we're gonna try to make a break this am
Why?
So I can be at my office when my 10 am appointment fails to show up
It really is pretty though, isn't it! The best part of this post? As I was watching the vlog one of the cats began attacking my laptop. I think that might say something about you and pussies!
TB: Ha. Very good. Oh well, at least it motivates you to get dressed, get ready, and sit around and do...well...miss out on billable hours. Cheers Sexy!!
Dana: Y'know...That was hurtful and probably inaccurate. I am sure your cat was drawn to my sexy voice. Pussies everywhere have always been attracted to me. Cheers Dana!!
Dana: Now that I took the time to accurately read your comment, that could have been a compliment. Man, I am in mental disarray. Oy Vay!! Cheers!!
I started to watch the video but it looked too cold. My nips got so hard they hurt.
No alcohol or smokes? Didn't you get any warning that the snow and ice was coming?
...butts 'n' booze...two thirds of the Holy Trinity...
Metal: Now that would be a great vlog. Watching your nipples get really hard. Yeah, I'd like that.
We had plenty of warning. I just didn't think that the car would be stuck in the damn parking lot. Cheers Metal!!
Phfrankie: The third part of the trinity is gonna happen today...At least twice. Shcmoop just doesn't know it yet. Cheers P-Man!!
it is shocking to me that the mere hotness of you and Schmoop didn't just make all that ice melt away!
ya gotta plan baby! whenever there is even a remote chance of a storm I am at the liquor store and butt dealer in a flash!!
screw the milk and bread lines - I ain't got no stinkin' kids
Red Alert! NO ALCOHOL OR SMOKES??
That is a National Guard type emergency, Matt. For Reals. In my house if the caffeine levels begin to dip it's time to call in the Humvees.
We had snow Tuesday morning. Just for the commute ya know. It was gone by noon. Today we have freezing fog. Lovely. I am spared the drive today as Kidlet has had a cluter migraine since Tuesday afternoon and we are home again.
Dianne: We had plenty but I didn't anticipate not being to get out of the parking lot. God Hates Me. Or maybe he's just molding my temper.
And by the way, Schmoop finds your son incredibly hawt. Schmoop is such a perv.. Cheers Hot Stuff!!
Starr: Well, sorry to hear about Kidlet. Maybe if you were a little nicer to her, she wouldn't get migraines. Cheers Bay-Bay!!
I know I am such a heartless bitch ;)
Starr: That is EXACTLY what turns me on about you.
Hey, I am going out now to try and get the car moving. If you don't see a comment from in five hours, alert the police. It means I died, and Schmoop will choose to just laugh and not notify anyone. Cheers!!
Aye Aye Cap't.
Starr: I appreciate it, Mr. Sulu. Cheers!!
(Associated Press)
A frozen Matt-Man was found today in Bagwine OH. His fingers were wrapped around the car door of his olive green car.
Investigators have learned he was trying to escape his shared apartment for alcohol and cigarettes, which had run low as a result of a small winter storm.
Government officials took this as an omen and immediately signed into law a bill banning all liquor and cigarettes from the tiny hamlet.
Residents angered by this new law all began protesting by walking around in a glassy-eyed daze uttering the phrases "I'm Matt-Man Bitch" and "Cheers".
The Governor Of Ohio is said to be considering calling in the National guard to put down this "Dawn Of The Dead" like reaction.
When contacted, the room mate of the man now referred to as the "Bagwine Popsicle" had the following statement "S**t, you mean he never even got the booze? Friggin' loser...can someone give me a lift? I need a drink...and a room mate. Jay wanna come move in with me?".
In a related story, Centerra Wine Company, the makers of the product Richard's Wild Irish Rose, today announced they would be laying off 200 workers. In a statement the company said "Damn, that guy was 70% of our market share, we are not sure we will be able to survive this loss." The company plans on erecting a statue of a man frozen to his car door in honor of the "Bagwine Popsicle" at it's corporate headquarters.
Bond: Hahahaha. Holy Shit, Vin. That was pretty good. You should do more of that on your own site. That wasn't just a comment, that (or anything like it) could have been a lively post. Ha, good stuff. Cheers Vinny!!
Thank you Sir...you inspire me...what can I say!
Booze and smokes restocked?
Ya Bond. Make it a feature. Write ALL of our Obits!
Bond: I just got the car un-stuck. Time to take a shower and then head off to get the essentials. Cheers Vin!!
Starr: Who knew he would be so cute when he writes comedy? Cheers!!
Hell, I have done comedy on The Couch...don't make it seem like I am some schlemiel.... sheesh
Wait? You shower??????
I'm so jealous of your snow and ice. We were merely teased yesterday by the weathergirl. Just rain for us.
If she weren't so hot....
Starr...I might just do that!
Bond: You've done comedy on your site? Wow, I must have missed that post. Bada Bing. Cheers!!
RLL: That's sad. How about if I predick for you, 6 inches of Matt-Man?...Okay three, but what the hell, it still sticks. Cheers Sexy!!
Don't slip on the ice babycakes...
OMG, those pictures are just heavenly. Man I love winter...long as I'm seeing it from indoors. lol
Be careful out there - break the ice, not your arse!!
I love the idea of Bond writing all our obits!!
glad you got the car out hot stuff and lived to tell - don't go freakin' dying on me without notice - we can do a suicide pact vlog
my son is way over the legal age so Schmoop ain't no perv - she just has good taste - i'd love to pimp him out but his wife takes such a dim view of that - she's so picky, no imagination
Bond: Awwwwww, thanks for your concern, sweetness. Cheers Vin!!
Giggle: I got the car out, and successfully traversed the snow and ice. All is right with the world. Cheers Sexy!!
Dianne: Ha I know he's of legal age but it just seems creepy when they're your own.
I will tell you, the bar is now fully stocked and I am trying to coerce Schmoop into having sex with me. Thus far...I have been unsuccessful. Cheers!!
you gave me chills.
Glad you were able to restock, do ya think Bond might have a lil too much time on his hands or does he also just have a crush on you?
p.s. good luck with scoring with Schmoop, maybe tell her she can keep her sweats and socks on til you heat things up!
cool pics, get it HA!
Kat: Isn't that typically the case? Cheers!!
Snugs: Either way Bond came up with a good one. And no Schmoop scoring, her basement is flooding. Cheers!!
Lu: Ha. And it's a damn shame too. Cheers Pal!!
That's some piss-poor prior planning there Matt-Man.
We had a massive ice storm here that has knocked out power for me for more than 2 days. And, much of the town is STILL without power. I had no canned goods or anything like that for food, but by God I had beer, Wild Turkey, Scotch and tequila! ;-)
Jay: Sorry bout your ice, but it sounds to me that you had the essentials. Cheers Jay!!
ROTFLMAO @ Bond.
Pretty pics Matt. Glad to see that all survived.
Can Schmoop walk yet? (I assume you weathered out the storm doing some - ahem - interesting experiments)
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