My kid has waited far too long and we will be working our asses off this week to have his Science project ready to go on Thursday.And hopefully, the bacteria he is trying to grow will...well...grow.
In fact, I won’t be around much at all Wednesday ‘cause I’ll be at his house supervising the end product.
And beyond that, I will worry about him doing what he is supposed to do in his other classes.
I have to finish up our taxes this week. We are in the midst of a myriad of Birthdays. We have Valentine’s Day coming up…
Lent and my meatless six weeks are drawing nigh. I havetwo dozen 150,000 emails to return, and through all of this I still have to work.
I have finally begun to send out writing samples, and need to continue to do so.
I have so much going on. No, not more than anyone else by any means, and no, nothing incredibly laborious, but…
All of this, is weighing on mind. I can’t relax. I just feel nervous. I just want a break…just an ort of good luck from the dinner table of fate.
Well, I got an email last Thursday, and when I read who it was from, I thought maybe this was the little break I was waiting for.
With anticipatory slobber dripping from my lower lip, and a faint glow of hope smoldering in my being, I opened up the email. It read:
Matt,
Thanks for the note & links to your stuff. I took a look at a few of your pieces and we'll have to pass. It's not really our cup of tea. Good luck with the comedy & writing and thanks for thinking of us!
Dean
Dean Metcalf
Producer
The Bob and Tom Show
6161 Fall Creek Rd.
Indianapolis, IN 46220
(317)-475-7477
dmetcalf@bobandtom.com
Son of a Bitch. What a wicked pissah. Rats and Damn It!!
I was bummed a bit. But, eh…I was one for one. I sent samples out, and the first person I sent them to, actually responded.
Not the response that I wanted, but man, if rejection is a marketable talent, I am off to a good start!!
I guess I am still a little ticked, because if you listen to The Bob and Tom Show on radio, or watch them on WGN, you’d know that the comedians that are on their show, usually suck.
Bob and Tom prop them up by working as human laugh tracks.
Most of the things I sent to Dean-O were related to Lent…Links to The Resurrection Song, the comedy of Jeebus…things that are very topical within the coming weeks.
And what do I get for my efforts?
“It's not really our cup of tea.” Oy Vay!!
Not his cup of tea? What? What kinda knucklehead uses that phrase? Is he some British bastard? If he is, I guess that explains a lot.
What kind of person does not like my Lenten Jeebus comedy? And my song, “The Resurrection? I’ll tell ya what kind of person…
A person named Dean who uses phrases better reserved for hoity-toity, boller hat wearing British bastards who chide the little folk while prancing along Savile Row.
That’s who!!
Okay, I feel better now, and I understand Dean-O’s problem.
He doesn’t hate me and my satirical offerings. He hates the Holy Baby Jeebus. Bastard.
Cheers!!
In fact, I won’t be around much at all Wednesday ‘cause I’ll be at his house supervising the end product.
And beyond that, I will worry about him doing what he is supposed to do in his other classes.
I have to finish up our taxes this week. We are in the midst of a myriad of Birthdays. We have Valentine’s Day coming up…
Lent and my meatless six weeks are drawing nigh. I have
I have finally begun to send out writing samples, and need to continue to do so.
I have so much going on. No, not more than anyone else by any means, and no, nothing incredibly laborious, but…All of this, is weighing on mind. I can’t relax. I just feel nervous. I just want a break…just an ort of good luck from the dinner table of fate.
Well, I got an email last Thursday, and when I read who it was from, I thought maybe this was the little break I was waiting for.
With anticipatory slobber dripping from my lower lip, and a faint glow of hope smoldering in my being, I opened up the email. It read:
Matt,
Thanks for the note & links to your stuff. I took a look at a few of your pieces and we'll have to pass. It's not really our cup of tea. Good luck with the comedy & writing and thanks for thinking of us!
Dean
Dean Metcalf
Producer
The Bob and Tom Show
6161 Fall Creek Rd.
Indianapolis, IN 46220
(317)-475-7477
dmetcalf@bobandtom.com
Son of a Bitch. What a wicked pissah. Rats and Damn It!!
I was bummed a bit. But, eh…I was one for one. I sent samples out, and the first person I sent them to, actually responded.
Not the response that I wanted, but man, if rejection is a marketable talent, I am off to a good start!!
I guess I am still a little ticked, because if you listen to The Bob and Tom Show on radio, or watch them on WGN, you’d know that the comedians that are on their show, usually suck.
Bob and Tom prop them up by working as human laugh tracks.
Most of the things I sent to Dean-O were related to Lent…Links to The Resurrection Song, the comedy of Jeebus…things that are very topical within the coming weeks.
And what do I get for my efforts?
“It's not really our cup of tea.” Oy Vay!!
Not his cup of tea? What? What kinda knucklehead uses that phrase? Is he some British bastard? If he is, I guess that explains a lot.
What kind of person does not like my Lenten Jeebus comedy? And my song, “The Resurrection? I’ll tell ya what kind of person…A person named Dean who uses phrases better reserved for hoity-toity, boller hat wearing British bastards who chide the little folk while prancing along Savile Row.
That’s who!!
Okay, I feel better now, and I understand Dean-O’s problem.
He doesn’t hate me and my satirical offerings. He hates the Holy Baby Jeebus. Bastard.
Cheers!!
27 comments:
Awwwwwww, Did the mighty Matt-Man get his feelings hurt?
Dude, you got rejected by The Bob and Tom show? Wow, that's some big potatoes! I love, love, LOVE Bob and Tom. I was really glad when they went syndicated so that I could listen to them out here. I get them on an HD television channel. Still, I think if Bob and Bob themselves actually met you, they'd think you have some funny shit. I think you have some material that ranks right up there with Heywood Banks's quirky shit.
(Oh, and Nicole STILL hasn't left yet?)
You gonna make that bacon loaf? I sent you the recipe.
Oh, and you know I feel your pain about your bright kid who leaves things to the last minute. I was just helping my son with homework that is due tomorrow that he's had all week to complete. Shit!
Nicole: Could you do me a favor? Email a picture of yourself to me so I can wipe my ass with it. Boo Yah. Cheers!!
Songbird: I like Heywood, but most of the folks they have on these days, blow. Yeah, I got it and may make the recipe before Lent starts, Thanks.
And as far as my son's procrastination...I know where he gets it from. Oh boy, do I. Cheers!!
I've never heard of this Bob and Tom show. But this Dean fella sure has a way with words. He's a clever one.
And by "clever" I of course mean "dumb ass."
I wonder how pathetic Nicole's life must be?
Matt...sorry the poor underdeveloped humor from that tom fellow et al kept him from recognizing talent when he saw it... and Jay, you shouldn't hit a girl. Nah. Hold her down and I'll do it.
Jay: Ha. Oh well. We don't all have the same taste in humor. Some people...in this case...have none. As for Nicole. Pathetic maybe, but I am glad that I can give her purpose. Cheers Jay!!
Hope: Thanks. And Hope? I would so enjoy watching you hold another woman down. Cheers Hope!!
You poor rejected Bagwhiner.
Keep your bacteria strong so it can grow.
I prefer the green stuff over the slimy white goo, don't you?
Micky: Ha. Bagwhiner? That's pretty good. I just talked to Ryno. I guess he has one sample that is starting to take off and he says it's green. I have one and it's white. We have the best of both worlds. Cheers Mick!!
...at least YOU'RE not skipping down the lane like Bob(Mary) and Tom(Nancy) singing "tea for two, and two for tea. me for you and you for me"...
Phfrankie: True. I appreciate you finding the silver chiffon lining in all of this. I love you. Cheers P-Man!!
Meh, I never really cared for Bob and Tom. They once did an entire spoof on Star Wars using various STD's as character names. That was not *my* cup of tea.
Of course I'm from the South and I may be biased but I just prefer John Boy and Billy.
Lady: I am not a fan either, but they have a relatively ginormous audience. Some exposure on that show would have been primo. Cheers LJ!!
appears Deano has given up on comedy for Lent - his loss
you're not trying to grow a better yeast infection are you?
At a loss to be clever so I'll just say, ah what the fuck do they know! :)
Dianne: That would have been the best route to go but I think his 8th grade Science teacher may have frowned upon that, at least openly. Cheers!!
Lu: Ha. Well Put. Cheers Lu!!
I'll be sending bacteria filled thoughts and prayers your way. Oh! Wait! That's nothing new! *giggle*
Screw Bob and Tom! You're better than them, and someone will see that! Loves!
Those bastards.. they used to be my favs....
Dean's loss, our gain.
Too bad you didn't catch me a week ago, I could have given you a sample of some really good bacteria! Or actually, really bad, now that I think of it. Ha! Good luck with the project!
if you want to get on the good side of deano the brit...maybe you ought to start ending every post with:
"cherrio"
wow, I was gone all weekend and thought you were gone for good with your signing off post. This is a pleasant suprise, not Nicole, but having you back in your element.Now, the anticipation of Lent is mounting for a glimpse of your meatless bod; it really is more like a second season of Advent!
Dana: That is so sweet. I think. Cheers Dana!!
Schmoop: Ah, the one who believes in me. Thanks and Zoves, Schmoop. Cheers!!
Cheesy: It is an afront to society, I tellz Ya!! Cheers Cheesy!!
Giggle: Mmmmmmm, I have a kinky thought as to how I would collect the sample from ya. Cheers GP!!
Kat: Ha. Good One. Cheerio, Kat!!
Snugs: I am actually looking forward to Lent, although I think I broke a rib tonight at work. Cheers Snugs!!
Never give up on your dream my friend.
Hugs,
Kimmie
But you're getting your stuff out there and that's the important thing.
So I say congratulations and keep working on it!
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