Large groups of people tea bagging each other is always a lot of fun.
On a related note, I tried something similar when I got home from work Wednesday night.
Schmoop isn’t usually up when I get home but last night she was, and my tea bag was steeping, so I initiated a conversation.
It reads just like a theatrical love story…
Matt-Man: Hiya Schmoop. Why are you still up?
Schmoop: Eh, I was just getting ready to go to bed. How was your night? Any freaks come through?
Matt-Man: Not bad…no freaks…Want me to hop in the sack with ya?Schmoop: If you want. But don’t bother me, I’m going to sleep.
Matt-Man: But you’re off tomorrow. Let’s stay up and fool around. (Matt-Man pulls her close)
Schmoop: No, and get your hands off my ass. (Pushes Matt-Man away)
Matt-Man: Aw c’mon…(Pulls Schmoop close again) It’ll be fun, Schmoop.
Schmoop: (Pushes Matt-Man Away) I said no, and quit pawing my boobs.
Matt-Man: Sheesh…Off tomorrow and can’t stay up for some sex with the love of your life.
Schmoop: Fine, love of my life (rolls eyes) How about I get in bed, spread my legs and go to sleep, while you DO me…
Matt-Man: (Drops pants) Sweeeeeeeet!! (Pulls her towards him)
Schmoop: I was KIDDING. You’re such a pig, Mahoney.
Matt-Man: But I love ya…
Schmoop: Fine, we’re both off tomorrow. Love me then. I’m going to bed.
Matt-Man: If you have sex with me now, I promise to marry you.
Schmoop: And that sweetens the offer for me how? (Places Hands on Hips)
Matt-Man: Now that was just plain hurtful. I’m quite the catch. Plenty of women would love to marry me.
Schmoop: Name one. (Taps Foot)
Matt-Man: I hate pop quizzes. Let’s have sex. (Lunges at Schmoop with Tongue Hanging Out)Schmoop: (Arms Keeping Matt-Man Away, and in a Lilting Voice, Says) I made you Hamburger Helper.
Matt-Man: Really? (Opens Fridge, Fingers The Hamburger Helper, Eats It) Sweeeeeet. Thanks Schmoop.
Schmoop: (Smiling and Walking Away) You’re welcome.
Matt-Man: (With Mouth Full of Hamburger Helper) Night, baby. I love you.
Schmoop: Whatever.
And there you have it. A personal glimpse into our undying love for each other.
For Friday’s post? I will have a pictorial offering of the crockpot liver I am making for Thursday’s dinner.
Of course, for Schmoop, I’ll make Chicken Nuggets and Fries.
Until then…
Cheers!!
40 comments:
"Whatever." Ah, yes, the timeless language of true love.
I didn't know crockpots had livers... do they have a pancreas, too?
Desert Rat: Ha, Pancreas...Why I oughta...Are you drunk again? ; ) Cheers Rat!!
Oh! Wow! Thanks for reminding me! I'm gonna go grab that bottle of red out of my suitcase (hiding it from the maid service), right now! Huzzah!
apparently a liver and a pancreas...but....no tongue.
laughing Laughing LAUGHING...
Rat: Ha. Party On, Rat. Glad to see that you seem in good spirits. Cheers!!
Kat: Ewwwww. I know liver is quite distasteful to some, but the thought of eating tongue, a cow's tongue that is, really tightens my colon. Cheers Kat!!
Hamburger Helper is an excellent substitute for sex. Liver? Not so much. ;-)
Jay: You are so right. Even in my advanced years, the thought of having Hamburger Helper makes me weak in the knees.
And you just wait Mister...Once you see pics of my Crockpot Liver on Friday, you'll be running out to gut a cow and get a bovine liver yourself. Cheers Jay!!
Crockpot and Liver are two words I never thought I would hear in the same sentence. I am, truthfully, scared.
Or Whatever :P
Since I'm not getting any sex, would you please post the crockpot liver recipe? Hamburger Helper doesn't do it for me!
Starr: Don't be afraid. It's love in a slow cooker. Cheers!!
Dana: I will be posting the whole thing tomorrow. But in the meantime, don't hate the HH. Cheers!!
Tongue is yummy;-)
TB: Yes it is, if it's attached to a hot chick. Cheers TB!!
LOL! This was such a cute exchange. Thanks for sharing!
Hamburger Helper is particularly sexy. ;-)
Jessica: Thanks for stopping by and you're right...
Hamburger Helper is sexy. Especially with a glob of Sour Cream on top. Mmmmmmm, that's my version of porn. Cheers!!
*wipes tear* what a touching story. I can't wait for the movie.
Lu: It gets ya right where ya live, doesn't it Lu? Cheers Pal!!
You gonna break out some Fava beans on Firday too?
Wuv~~twue wuv.....
Cheesy: Ha. Thanks for quoting one of our all-time favorite movies. Cheers Cheesy!!
...The Crockpot Livers would make a good name...oh, never mind!...
Phfrankie: STOP IT!! For all that is Holy, just STOP IT!! Cheers P-Man!!
I thought it said - cockpit liver - wonder what that means
Dianne: It means that you want to eat a cow's internal organ at 30,000 feet. Or...we could catch a plane together and join the Mile High Club. I'd like that. Cheers Sexy!!
Hmm, I have some Hamburger Helper in the pantry, if you think it'll help, maybe I should make it for dinner...
Sounds like my house. LOL
Chick: Hamburger Helper can do no wrong. It is the mistress that calls all and soothes their aching soul, and horniness and...Okay, I should stop now. Cheers Hot Stuff!!
Metal: Ha...Let's do a double date dinner sometime. Cheers Bay-bay!!
ha Ha HA I LOVE IT WHEN:
the comments are as good as the POST !!!
thanks "Everybody"
Dice: More often than not, they typically are better than the post. Cheers Di!!
So...You thought our PRIVATE conversation was ok to post???? Whatev....
Schmoop: Private Conversation? As loudly as you talk, people all across America can hear what you say without the aid of the internet. Oy Vay, baby. Zoves and Cheers!!
Oooooh.... Throw Down!
Side note...have you heard the new Green Day Matt? It is awesome. They are playing it on all the stations starting today. Now for tour dates.
Starr: No, I haven't heard them yet. But if you say it is awesome, I'm sure it is. I'll be looking out for it today. Cheers Starr!!
P.S. And tell your Mom to "get baked." ;)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That I shall. She was mighty chipper this morning when she called me.
Starr: Ha. I'm glad she feels well. She obviously RAWKS. Cheers, Hot Stuff!!
Liver? Crockpot? WFT dude... fry it up with onions and bacon and mashed potatoes...sheesh
I had no idea you were such a negotiator. You ate the hamburger helper and then crawled in to bed later and did Schmoop in her sleep anyway, didn't you?
Way late getting here today for a deep belly laugh at the comments.
Bond: I am showing a simpler way. I am a an of the people that way. God, I'm cute. Cheers!!
VE: You Suck. Most people thought I was an understanding guy who respected women. Bastard. Cheers!!
Micky: You guys ARE the BEST. Cheers Mick!!
crockpots and liver..only in bagwine where nothing is ever as you expect! I am sorry, but I might have to skip those pics- hope you are enjoying your meat again.
Snugs: I'm diggin' the meat. Hope you're well Snugs. Cheers!!
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