Saturday, April 25, 2009

Spring Has Sprung, And So Has The Cleavage

Spring has finally sprung in Bagwine, Ohio.

Friday, the temp hit 80 and it’s going to be in the low 80’s all weekend long. Boo Yah and fire up that grill, bitches!!

Ahhhhhh I so love warmth and sun.

I get to wear my favorite sleeveless shirts. Shorts. The beer tastes better and the sound of brats sizzling over the charcoals gives me wood o’ plenty.

A taste of summertime in Bagwine and the livin’ is easy my friends.

Even working last night was fun. All who came through the beer mine were in a good mood.

And as I stood next to the cars while the lovelies sitting in the driver’s seat made their requests, I saw plenty of this…


And this...


And more of this...


Oh yeah, when the temperature goes up, the clothes come off. And I like that…a lot.

I’m going to enjoy this bright, beautiful Saturday in Bagwine, but first…

There is something that I need to do that may be a bit harmful to my body and my ego.

I am playing a little one-on-one basketball with Ryno this morning. Normally that’s no big deal, however…

Due to Winter and the up until now dismal Spring, the weather has prevented us from playing. The last time we played, Ryno was 5’7 and weighed a mere 127 lbs.

While the boy has roundball skillz out the butt, the 5 inch and 60 lb. advantage I had, always carried me to victory over the young upstart.

This morning? I will be going up against the same dead eye shooter and Pete Maravich-like ball handler who is now 5’9 and 145 lbs.

I now only have 3 inches and 35 pounds on the boy.

Yes folks…While I remain hopeful of victory, this could be the day that the little man finally takes his dad down.

I just hope that I walk away without too many sprains, bruises, and pulled muscles.

Hell, I just hope that I will be able to walk away without assistance.

Enjoy your Saturday folks…The beer, brats and Ben-Gay are on me.

Cheers!!

28 comments:

Kanani said...

Have fun with Ryno. If you get hurt, just scream real loud. Maybe one of those ladies with the scanty tops will run over to help you.

Schmoop said...

Kanani: That's a good idea, of course if it works Ryno will be quickly following my lead. Cheers Kanani!!

Ken said...

Oh Matt......he has gained so much by comparison to an aging adult that I'd put my money on the kid this year for sure. He may not take you down right away this season......but he will. You better be stretching right now as we speak.

Schmoop said...

Micky: Ha. I was joking with Schmoop on Friday saying, "I should start stretching now." And yopu're right, the bot has shot up of late. It's only a matter of time. Cheers Mick!!

Dianne said...

just let him win and then the 2 of you can go girl watching - it's healthier for you both.

apparently there is a plastic sugeon near the drive-thru - cool, good for business - nothing goes better with inplants than a beer and Cheetos

I can hardly wait for Jay to see this post.

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Let him win? That's just not in my nature. I'd rather be in traction for a week and lose trying than throw the game and still be ambulatory.

But you're right...Big Boobs, salty Snacks, and Beer go sooooo well together. Cheers Di!!

Dana said...

Well ... if (when?) you lose, you can always pacify yourself with the cleavage!

Schmoop said...

Dana: Well...A nice set of tits does soothe the soul, but oddly enough, I am more turned on by the picture of the Johnsonville Brats that we will be eating later today.

Mmmmmmmmmm, brats. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

I noticed your brats have been surgically enhanced with cheese!

they should do that with inplants, imagine cheese whiz nipples - something for everyone

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Holy Processed Cheese Boobs, Matt-Girl...That would be a wet dream come true!! Cheers Di!!

Lu' said...

Ryno might very well win the B-ball game he is young and spry and springs from your loins.

I bet you give a good game with an extra 3" and 35 pounds *wink*

Schmoop said...

Lu: Ha. I have my moments. Purrrrrr. Have a great weekend Lu. Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...(in the voice of Terry Thomas): What is this American preoccupation with bosoms?...

Jay said...

What you still have going for you is experience. And by "experience" I mean you haven't taught him all the ways to cheat or cheap shot someone yet. Remember, elbows up! LOL ;-)

The Teamster said...

yes spring has sprung in nor cal as well...truck drivers check their mirrors every 6 seconds for traffic, not for passing cleavage.....the best safety gear ever invented was the shoulder part of the seat belt...it lifts and separates...i may have to post on "the views of a trucker"

Cinnamon Girl said...

It was bound to happen someday Matt =) I am seriously jealous of the brats and beer. At work for a couple hours this morning, and then Mom and I are going out on a country drive to get some hanging baskets. Then I get to work the concession stand again at Kidlet's school. I did last night as well. Oy vey.

Schmoop said...

Jay: Ha. He's the one who throws the elbows. However, I did lay a pretty good intentional foul on him when he was going in for an esy lay up. I lost...22-18. Cheers!!

Teamster: Ha. I used to drive dump trucks for the Ohio Department of Transportation, sitting up high and looking down on passing cars and those behind does have it's advantages. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Well have fun and tell your mom not to get too baked. ; ) Cheers Bay-Bay!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

She *wishes* it was that kind of hanging basket ;)

So is your ego intact?

Schmoop said...

Starr: My ego is fine. And more importantly my body is not wrecked. When I post the video tomorrow that I shot of his shooting, you'll see why I had little chance of beating him. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Yeah mine is a zippy little shit too.

Schmoop said...

Starr: Little Shitz. Cheers!!

Phfrankie: Oh Dear God...I passed you over. For Shame. Especially since any reference to Terry-Thomas is funny. Cheers P-Man!!

Travis Cody said...

My advice would have been to foul. A lot. And then grill the brats and savor the last days of your hoops advantage.

Schmoop said...

Travis: Although I lost narrowly, I think I have the little big guy figured out as far as his court prowess. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

nice Brats

Schmoop said...

TB: I do have lovely meat. Cheers!!

Michele said...

Finally, I'm catching up. Will check the Sunday post for an injury update. My boys topped me by the age to 13. That's not saying much. I'm not very tall.

Schmoop said...

Michele: He beat me, but fortunaely I escaped any injuries. Cheers Michele!!