Saturday, May 30, 2009

Summer, Time, and Chinese Lanterns

Can ya believe it? It’s the final weekend of May already.

Holy Cow, where does the time go!?

A laid back Saturday on tap here in Bagwine. I’m spending the morning with Ryno. (I’ll take some new pictures of him by the way.)

Oy. Speaking of time slipping away…Barring any unforeseen problems, next Thursday Ryno will have successfully completed the 8th grade.

Just think…when he goes back to school in August, the sarcastic little rip and chick magnet, will be a High School Freshman.

It seems like only yesterday that I was changing his diapers…Diapers typically full of shit that had the color and consistency of Split Pea soup, but smelled a helluva lot worse.

More often than not, I think his nasty diapers were the result of me mixing so much damn Ny-Quil into his formula so he’d finally go to sleep.

After I drop Ryno off back at home, I’ll return to the Bagwine digs and regroup, as it were. If he’s available, I’ll see if David can shave my head.

It’s going to turn hot Monday, so I need my noggin’ to be as clean, smooth, and cool as my incredibly hot ass.

Yep, summer has come to Bagwine. And with that, we felt the need to bring summer into the abode.

We have decorated the Bagwine Holiday Tree for the summer months…

Isn’t it chic? Red and Blue X-Mas bulbs…White lights, and a set of America Flag lights. Yes indeed, it just screams summer in middle America.

Of course, the flag lights were made in China…but, well…you know.

But that’s not all ladies and gentlemen…no, no, no. There’s more!!

Just because we live in a second floor apartment and have no patio, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have a set of Chinese Lanterns!!

Damn straight, Bitches…Schmoop picked up a set of Chinese Lantern lights. They’re colorful, and come complete with uber-cheesy tassels.

I can lay Schmoop on the floor 'neath the soft, oriental glow of the lanterns and slip my bok choy into her hot wok.

All the while I’ll be screaming, “Ahhhhh, Habba Habba, Me Love You Long Time.”

Hey, it’s no coincidence that I was born during the Year of the Snake.

Anyhoo…That’s my day in a nutshell. Well tonight, we are going to dine on one of Pizza Bill’s most fantastic pizzas. I’ll take some pictures. Bill’s…Pizzas…are…THE BOMB!!

Have a lovely Saturday, all. Tip a few…have sex…and please…Try not to be too jealous of our Chinese Lanterns.

Cheers!!

15 comments:

desert rat said...

Too late: I (secretly) covet your Chinese lanterns. Hmmm... I think I remember seeing some fortune cookies of uncertain origin in the pantry at home. Perhaps that will dampen the flame of jealousy.

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Ha. I bet one of the fortunes reads, "Eat not, fortune cookies of unknown origin." Me love you long time. Cheers Rat!!

Desert Songbird said...

I always figured you for tassles.

Schmoop said...

Songbird: I only wear them when I want to feel pretty. Cheers!!

Micky-T said...

Chinese Lanterns glue themselves down wherever you put them.

Kinda like your Christmass tree huh?

Schmoop said...

Mick: Unlike Chinese food, Chinese Lanterns stick with ya. Cheers Mick!!

Dana said...

In honor of Bagwine, our outdoor Christmas lights are still up *rolls eyes*

And we are in no way as seasonally appropriate as your tree!

Schmoop said...

Dana: Now THAT is just sad. Have a lovely, well-lit weekend. Cheers!!

phfrankie said...

...loooooooves me some uber-cheesy tassels!...

Jay said...

You can have your Chinese lanterns. And your holiday/seasonal tree decorations. I'm still planning on my dream of a disco ball and strobe lights around my room that flash to the bass beats of the music. And a stripper pole. ;-)

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: I do too...especially if they're attached to a cheesy chick with big fun bags. Cheers P-Man!!

Jay: Ha. I scoff at you. We have something here that is BETTER than a Disco Ball.

It's a homemade piece of lighting called the, Bagwine Party Ball, and you will see a picture of it posted in time for the 4th of July. Take THAT, Viking Disco Man!! Cheers Jay!!

Candice said...

Bok Choy?

What about rice noodle?

Schmoop said...

Candice: If I have too much Bagwine, it comes out looking like a chopstick. Cheers!!

Michele said...

I am so jealousy of your Chinese lanterns. Schmoop, Where did you get them?

Have a nice weekend. JR is in town for the weekend so I'll be honoring your request.

Schmoop said...

Michele: Don't hurt JR toooo much. Cheers Michele!!