Summer, Time, and Chinese Lanterns

Can ya believe it? It’s the final weekend of May already.

Holy Cow, where does the time go!?

A laid back Saturday on tap here in Bagwine. I’m spending the morning with Ryno. (I’ll take some new pictures of him by the way.)

Oy. Speaking of time slipping away…Barring any unforeseen problems, next Thursday Ryno will have successfully completed the 8th grade.

Just think…when he goes back to school in August, the sarcastic little rip and chick magnet, will be a High School Freshman.

It seems like only yesterday that I was changing his diapers…Diapers typically full of shit that had the color and consistency of Split Pea soup, but smelled a helluva lot worse.

More often than not, I think his nasty diapers were the result of me mixing so much damn Ny-Quil into his formula so he’d finally go to sleep.

After I drop Ryno off back at home, I’ll return to the Bagwine digs and regroup, as it were. If he’s available, I’ll see if David can shave my head.

It’s going to turn hot Monday, so I need my noggin’ to be as clean, smooth, and cool as my incredibly hot ass.

Yep, summer has come to Bagwine. And with that, we felt the need to bring summer into the abode.

We have decorated the Bagwine Holiday Tree for the summer months…

Isn’t it chic? Red and Blue X-Mas bulbs…White lights, and a set of America Flag lights. Yes indeed, it just screams summer in middle America.

Of course, the flag lights were made in China…but, well…you know.

But that’s not all ladies and gentlemen…no, no, no. There’s more!!

Just because we live in a second floor apartment and have no patio, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have a set of Chinese Lanterns!!

Damn straight, Bitches…Schmoop picked up a set of Chinese Lantern lights. They’re colorful, and come complete with uber-cheesy tassels.

I can lay Schmoop on the floor 'neath the soft, oriental glow of the lanterns and slip my bok choy into her hot wok.

All the while I’ll be screaming, “Ahhhhh, Habba Habba, Me Love You Long Time.”

Hey, it’s no coincidence that I was born during the Year of the Snake.

Anyhoo…That’s my day in a nutshell. Well tonight, we are going to dine on one of Pizza Bill’s most fantastic pizzas. I’ll take some pictures. Bill’s…Pizzas…are…THE BOMB!!

Have a lovely Saturday, all. Tip a few…have sex…and please…Try not to be too jealous of our Chinese Lanterns.

Cheers!!

Blitzkrieg Benny and the Bagwine Easter Tree

Twelve days to go until Jeebus resurrects hizzelf.

As you can see, I have the Bagwine Holiday Tree decorated for the festive, life renewing event.

A video on that later.

However, while I looove the Baby Jeebus…His self-proclaimed mouthpiece, Pope Benedict XVI, has pissed me off once again.

Yep, Blitzkrieg Benny during his recent tour of Africa, said that condom use is evil. “No Condoms, Dammit!!”, he said.

Okay he didn’t say, “Dammit.”, but he said that they shouldn’t be used.

He says that condoms will cause more problems than they will help to prevent the spread of AIDS.

Benny, just because you were lecturing while touring the Dark Continent doesn’t mean you have to remain in the Dark Ages.

I know…God doesn’t want the gift of sperm-driven life wasted merely on the pleasures of sexual gratification, but…

What the hell? Should we take you and your Priests lead on how to practice birth control?

And no, I’m not talking about celibacy.

I’m talking about boinking 12-16 year old boys. I mean, yeah, that’s an effective method of not getting anyone pregnant, but c’mon!!

Sure, a good Priest can help to inject a person with the Holy Spirit, but damn…

Does he have to initiate a religious schism between a young boy’s ass cheeks to do it?

And another thing…Why can’t women be Priests?

Y’know…If you Joan of Arc, Mary Magdalene, or even the Virgin Mother herself were alive today, they would not be permitted to be Priests?

And as I said, still today, the Catholic Church is speaking out against responsible, safe sex and birth control practices.

The Catholic Church, and the current Nicene Nazi are just not getting it.

The hierarchy of that Church blows, and that is why I haven't considered myself a Catholic since Notre Dame won the National Championship in football back in 1988.

In fact, I think all organized churches blow. Jeebus never needed a church. He just needed a crowd with whom to discuss peace, love, and understanding.

And that my friends, is how it should be. And how I wish it was today.

And now…A short video of the Bagwine Easter Tree.

Enjoy, Bitches!!

Cheers!!