Saturday, August 01, 2009

Bacon and Cracked Eggs

Ahhhhhhh it’s the first Saturday of August. I like August because that means that the College Football season starts at the end of this month.

However, that is still a few days away from now, but this Saturday is kicking off with me taking my nearly 15 year old (Oh Dear God) son and eating machine, Ryno, out for breakfast.

As of the writing of this, I am not sure where we will go. One thing is certain however...


No matter where we end up eating, we will be involved in a freak show.

Seriously, every time Ryno and I go out to eat, we either are eating our breakfast to the sound of a close by middle-aged patron who looks like Charles Manson screaming about his manly prowess on the slow pitch softball field or…

We are handed our lunch by a waitress who appears to have just been released from the Ohio Reformatory for Women after serving time for sawing her husband in half and eating his brain.

It never fails.

One lunch involved the aforementioned softball guru. Another involved the ex-con chick.


We went to Appleby’s recently and were waited on by some dude who kept giving me the eye. Yeah…the sexual eye.

Ryno was quite amused by that. Some of you who have read me for awhile may remember one of the Christmas presents that I gave to Ryno this past year…





Why is Ryno laughing? It’s a picture of me replicating the look on the face of a guy who was sitting across from us when I took Ryno out for lunch last October.

That disturbing gaze never left the dude’s face as he chowed down on a lunch of onion rings and a fish sandwich.

Ryno and I were so disturbed, fixated, and amused. We couldn’t take our eyes off of this guy. It got better.

Ryno and I went to the bathroom after we were done eating, and what did we see?


We saw the same guy taking a leak in the bathroom still sporting the same maniacal look on his face as he gazed down upon his golden stream of craziness.

Ha. It is a face that we both replicate to this day, and Ryno will even use it when he is guarding an opponent while playing basketball.


It truly unnerves the man he is defending. As it should…

So, I am looking forward to a little freakiness to go along with my bacon (Mmmmmmmmm, Bacon) this morning.

And the best thing about my outing with Ryno? It reads like a MasterCard commercial…

Breakfast: 25 Bucks

Nearby Asylum Escapees: Annoying

The Laughs You Will Share Forever With Your Kid Over This Simple Meal: Priceless.


Have a wonderful Saturday all. I’ll have my camera with me just in case our string of encountering restaurant freaks continues.

Cheers!!


Post Breakfast Report

The Boy Ate...It...All


Three Pancakes...A Sausage Patty...Two Sausage Links...Two Scrambled Eggs...Two Strips of Bacon...Two Kielbasa Links....and, get this...Two Diet Cokes. WTF?

26 comments:

MysteryChick said...

Can I come?

I love bacon and eggs and if you want to see freaks you're in luck, I'm a freak-magnet!

People in the Sun said...

We were walking earlier in the neighborhood and this guy in a pick-up stops at the light and waves at this big guy standing next to me with a bunch of other guys. And the big guy with a big mustache and big neck tattoos, who's standing next to me shouts to the guy in the pick-up truck, "All I want to do is dance!"

Which in my neighborhood means he's just got paroled.

Matt-Man said...

Mystery: The table is always open for you, however, just expect to get hit upon by both a 14 yr old and 44 yr old. Cheers Chick!!

PITS: Wow...It's sounds as though you would be quite at home living on the west side of Bagwine, Ohio. If ya ever wanna take a tour, let me know. Cheers!!

Michele said...

Since moving to that Valley of the Beef we don't go out for breakfast as much.

Ryno will remember these times that he's spent with you. When you become old and senile he'll take you out for your pre-masticated breakfast and he'll think back to when you made fun of people just like you. Just gives me the warm and fuzzies thinking about it. LOL!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. You are undoubtedly correct. Your warm and fuzziness has spread onto me now. Thanks You. Cheers Michele!!

Desert Songbird said...

These father - son outings are a wonder to behold. They bring joy to my heart...and a belch to my lips.

Matt-Man said...

Songbird: Indeed...The times when we are together we end up wondering what we are beholdiong. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

I love that you two appreciate the fine and simple pleasures of life

have a great time!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: We appreciate the simple things because we're both...well...simple. Have a great weekend. Cheers Sexy!!

Micky-T said...

25 Bucks for breakfast.....wow!

Have a good day.

Cheesy said...

I get to be close to two of the cult next week.. I am hoping for some time people watching with them too! Have funfunfun~

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...ah, the fine (and free) art of People Watching....

Matt-Man said...

Micky: With tip, it came to $21.50. Good enough. Cheers!!

Cheesy: Nothing exciting happened except for a mildly humorous bathroom incident. Have fun. Cheers!!

Phfrankie: Airports may be my favorite place to watch people. Cheers P-Man!!

Desert Rat said...

I think the relationship you have with Ryno is awesome! I hope you have a wonderful and entertaining breakfast! (I put up a little something on FB for you - hee hee)

Matt-Man said...

Desert Rat: we had a splendiferous time. I'll check it out soon. Cheers Rat!!

Andy said...

oh my, family memories. Any meal with bacon and loud mouths is a good time.

Matt-Man said...

Andy: You know...I think you pretty much summed up the moral of this post most accurately. I'm going to start calling you, Soe-Crates. Have a lovely weekend. Cheers Andy!!

Desert Rat said...

Ooh! Look at all that MEAT!

David said...

Your weekend breakfast tradition is endearing.

The dude with the freaky eyes reminds me of a guy I used to work with whose eyebrows were unnaturally high and gave him constant totally surprised expression.

And I too love people-watching in airports. The great unwashed masses are focused on their flights or something and don't realize they are being watched so I don't really need to be particularly covert.

Cheers

Matt-Man said...

Desert Rat: Easy woman...On second thought, get as excited as you want. That would be hot. Cheers!!

David: Ha. I so like the word, "covert". People watch away, David. Have a wunnerful weekend my friend. Cheers!!

mic said...

Hell, I'd eat every bite too if someone else is buying.

Don't let me fool ya, I'd eat every bite "for sure" if I bought it.

Cheesy said...

Kids= walking garbage disposal

Starrlight said...

I feel your 15 pain. High School...we have High Schoolers?!!?

I need bacon.

Scott Oglesby said...

I was going to comment about how you look a little like the late, great George Carlin mid rant in that photo, but then you had to put a picture of the breakfast up. Why did you do that? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had pancakes (or even an Eggo) and how much I’m craving them! Aaarrgghh…………

Marilyn said...

We gotta be related... that's totally my dream breakfast.

katherine. said...

you are two peas in a pod....glad you enjoyed your time together so much!