I try to treat all groups of people equally be they white, black, injun, or, whatever kind of funny eyes, name, and skin color some folks may have.
So to wit, and heretofore, let’s get right to our first installment of Bagwine Racial Equality Week (BREW) by honoring some well-known African-Americans with the following entry titled…
Black People I Hate
Whoopi Goldberg: Oh Dear God!! She irritates me to no end. Whenever I see her on TV I want to poke my eyes out with hot fried chicken legs and shove a ripe watermelon up ass. Trust me, it would feel better than listening to her when she is in her socio-political, professorial mode.
Listen people, she’s an actress not some expert cultural guru. Just because she talks slowly and directly, looks at people over the top of her glasses, and has dreadlocks, does not a genius make her. I loathe her.
Rev. Al Sharpton: I have said much about him over the years on BR. He’s nothing more than a pimp and a race baiting snake oil salesman. He as much a man of God as Condaleeza Rice is an example of fine dental work.
Chris Rock: He and I share the common bond of being born on February 7th a mere year apart, but I hate him nonetheless. Why? He’s funnier than I am…I hate that.
Jackie Robinson: Big Time Baseball player Jackie felt that the Negro League wasn’t good enough for him. Nooooo. He just had to get all uppity and become the first black guy to play White Major League Baseball. Thanks alot for upsetting the white apple cart and stocking it with black-eyed peas and collard greens, pal.
Cliff and Claire Huxtable: Yeah I know, they’re just TV show characters but I not only hate them, I find them dangerous. Sure, it’s find to suspend one’s belief when watching TV, but c’mon…A married black couple who are a lawyer and a doctor?…None of their kids are on crack, pregnant, or in prison? Ha. I don’t fucking think so.
The Huxtables give unrealistic expectations to black people everywhere. It’s like a white kid growing up in Bagwine, Ohio thinking he can become a meth dealer, marry and raise a family with some chick who is a cocaine dealer. Good fortune just doesn’t fall like that, my precocious ones.
And there my friends, are but a few of the Black People I Hate. If you were expecting to see Michael Jackson on the list, don’t worry…
I may be talking about him tomorrow when I continue BREW with my, “White People I Hate” post.
Until then…Don’t confine your hate to only one race folks…spread it around to all. To confine it to say, black people, would be so damn niggardly of you.
Cheers!!
21 comments:
...you said "niggardly"...
...and my buddy Craig hates Whooooopi because, he says, "she has purple gums"...think about it...
the reverend jesse jackson didn't make the cut?
I'm likin' your brew.
Like Katherine, I can't believe Jesse didn't make the list.
"He as much of a man of God as Condaleeza Rice is an example of fine dental work."
I laughedfor a good ten minutes and am now in trouble at work. I told them I was doing homework. I don't think they believe me. Thanks
Oh, I'm going to jump on the "Where's Jesse Jackson?" bandwagon, too.
Phfrankie: Hey...the word fit perfectly. Hee Hee, purple gums. Tell Craig he rocks. Cheers P-Man!!
Kat and Songbird: I couldn't possibly list every black person I hate and to put Sharpton AND Jackson on here would be redundant. They are one and the same. Although, Crazy Al does make me laugh from time to time. Cheers!!
Natalie: Ha. Thanks and thanks for the comment. Sorry 'bout work though. And as you can see, this is only a partial hate list. Cheers!!
Damn! I was hoping for some Louis Farrakhan action. Then you could hate blacks AND terrorists!
I just noticed you have over 9000 profile views. I wonder why so many, want to check you out after reading your posts........
ha ha ha
The One And Only...Matt-Man of Bagwine
The show about the married couple who have one kid who is a high school dropout and another who got knocked up at 16 by a kid who's mother is a meth addict is called "The Palin Show"
The only black person I hate is the chick named Shay that I went to college with. She was absolutely brilliant. Had an amazing sense of humor and the most perfect body of any women I've ever met. I hated her cause she wouldn't let me touch that perfect body. That's a fair reason, right?
Do you ever cut yourself on that envelope you push? :)
Michele: I couldn't agree more. I mean I could, but that would be wrong. Cheers Michele!!
Micky: Ha. Two Words...Morbid Curiosity. Cheers!!
Jay: I was gonna include Palin tomorrow but I am not. And yes, gimme a pic, a number, and address and I'll do a hit piece on this Shay chick. Cheers!!
Lu: So far so good...In fact as much as I try, people never seem to get pissed off, they just refrain from commenting. Cheers Lu!!
Of course Louis Farrakhan is not a terrorist, although there does seem to be a bit of confusion between The Nation of Islam and Islamic Nations ... go figure!
OK, Jackie Robinson was sarcasm...I get it now...
Sharpton is a total fool
Whoopie chews purple gum and someone does not like that?
Dana: He really needs to lighten up though. Cheers!!
Bond: You're as sharp as the leading edge of a rolling ball bearing. Cheers Vinny!!
I would listen to every one of those choices for 24 hours straight-- willingly-- if it would just make Al Sharpton go away.
Metal: He is in a word, an asshole. Cheers Metal!!
where Whoopi and her purple colored glasses or gums go, I will always follow; still sounds pretty racist to me but seein how my vote doesn't count no more your numbers are still good! so cheers baby!
I couldn't comment on the white post without first commenting on the black post
I'm all fair and shit
I loved Jay's comment and Lu killed me and your response to Bond was classic
I hate Michael Steele
Dianne: Damn...Michael Steele would have been a good one. Cheers Sexy!!
Al is endlessly entertaining if one doesn't get invested in his propaganda.
Post a Comment