Listen up, Bitches. I have of all things, a complaint about TV.
Now listen, I’m not someone who watches much TV at all. No, not because I am some type of elitist, but because the only TV that I typically watch is as follows…
News/Political Talk Shows…Sports…Seinfeld Re-Runs, and The Weather Channel.
It is the last mention, The Weather Channel, that has me furious. And trust me, the last time I was furious was when I found out that Schmoop only came once during our sex session
Laugh all you want, but trust me, I am pissed at my beloved Weather Channel. The meteorological muthafuckahs have sold out.
Let me ’splain.
Remember when MTV used to play music? Remember when VH-1 did the same? I know…I do too.
Of course they decided to go against their own grain and start showing and producing their own, “eclectic” productions.The Real World…Tia, I’m an Ugly Bisexual Bitch Idiot…Best Week Ever (Hosted by B-List Comedians and Actors in Rehab)
Oy Vay, and What the Fuck!?
Well my friends, The Weather Channel, which had been on the same slippery slope, has finally and completely jumped the shark and gone the same way as MTV and VH-1.
Starting July 20th, The Weather Channel will air a new segment on weekdays from 6-7 A.M. called, creepily enough, “Wake Up With Al”.
And who is the Al, with you and I will be awaking? Al Fucking Roker. That’s right. That big tub of vacuous, chocolate pudding that is Al Roker.
Holy Cow!! Or should that be, Holy Occluded Front!?
Listen up, my friends…I am quite the amateur meteorologist, and know more about weather than the average person. And, this action by The Weather Channel?
Well…it sticks deeply within my dew point, and my barometer is tossing mercury left and right.
I understand that NBC bought the Weather Channel, but does that mean that they need to sodomize America by showing Al Roker on TWO networks instead of one every weekday morning?
The Weather Channel has Jim Cantore, Mike Seidel, Heather “I Love Thunderstorms” Tesch (purrrrrrr) and other ACTUAL meteorologists.Why do they have to rain on my TV breakfast and pee on my eggs by thrusting Roker on me?
I hate Roker…First of all, he’s not an ACTUAL meteorologist and secondly he’s a hypocrite.
When Imus was on MSNBC, Roker said that he loved him and had always listened to him. Roker went on Imus’ show, and pimped his book.
When Imus called the Rutgers ladies b-ball team a bunch of nappy headed ho’s?
Roker was "OUTRAGED!!" Mainly because, Roker had already used Imus in order to pimp his book.
Gimme a break…I don't know, but I do hope Roker‘s stomach staples will someday give way. I do know a couple of things, however.
The Weather Channel is going to get ruined by NBC and their hiring of people who are not ACTUAL meteorologists in order to turn a profit.
And…
Al Roker is going to be struck down dead by lightning while eating a ham and cheese sandwich.
At least that’s my hope.
Cheers!!
Roker was "OUTRAGED!!" Mainly because, Roker had already used Imus in order to pimp his book.
Gimme a break…I don't know, but I do hope Roker‘s stomach staples will someday give way. I do know a couple of things, however.
The Weather Channel is going to get ruined by NBC and their hiring of people who are not ACTUAL meteorologists in order to turn a profit.
And…
Al Roker is going to be struck down dead by lightning while eating a ham and cheese sandwich.
At least that’s my hope.
Cheers!!
25 comments:
A couple of weeks ago, during the US Open Roker was there giving his forecast and Johnny Miller was like "I look at that radar it looks to me like the storms are all letting up just as they get to this area. I don't think it's going to be as bad." And Roker was getting pissed that anyone would dare to question him.
Then later in the afternoon all the announcers were joking about how Miller was right and Roker was wrong.
Roker is always wrong. Just like most political and sports pundits. Damn losers.
Oh and I've always felt like Playboy should do a "Girls of the Weather Channel" issue. Cause there have been some serious babes on that network.
And I'm pretty sure since NBC owns The Weather Channel they'll be showing "Law and Order" during the late night hours soon enough.
Damn, that was a pretty long comment. I'm kind of long-winded tonight. You know, just rambling along. Talking about whatever is on my mind and shit.
Maybe along with "Law & Order" they'll show "Deal or No Deal" on the Weather Channel too? Seinfeld reruns? "The West Wing?"
Actually, you know "The West Wing" would be a pretty good choice for the Weather Channel. Ever notice how it was always raining or snowing on that show? I guess it added drama for there to be heavy rain or snow outside the window of the Oval Office all the time.
Okay, that's all I've got. ;-)
I can't stand that bastard. I find myself wanting to punch his fat fucking chiclet teeth down his throat. He and Matt Lauer can go fuck each other in the ass. Better yet, let Katie Couric do it with her mighty strap-on.
Jesus, I need anger management.
I'm even less connected. I come here for news...
I watch very little regular network television, so I'm immune to Roker's schtick. He did, however, have a short-lived show on The Food Network that I believe re-runs in very odd hours. I can live with that; not up to watch it!
The West Wing is a great show and the only redeeming quality about Bravo; all of the other "reality" shows on Bravo are shit. I gotta admit, though, Jay's reasoning was sound.
Oh, and you know what they say about people who watch The Weather Channel, don't you? It's age related...
(Damn - I'm a bit wordy tonight myself!)
...Say what you want about Al; at least he's merry...
I hear ya oh sage of all that is wise and true!
but I must point out that to some degree we have ourselves, well our less intelligent fellow humans, to blame
the average American continues to have less and less of an attention span, less curiosity about the world beyond their gated community, and less interest in learning anything
and so the media continues to sell crack to the crack whores
Jay: Ha Ha...You were on a roll last night. I think you were as hyped up on speed when you commented as I was shit faced on beer when I typed the post. But yeah, The Babes of the Weather Channel...I could dig that. Cheers!!
Candice: Ha Ha. No, no anger management. Don't you you dare change a thing in regards to your humorous hatred. It's nice to have others like me out there. Cheers!!
VE: Ha. Your comment is a bee-yoo-tee-ful example of the less is more genre of funny. It's also an incredibly sad commentary on yourself. Cheers VE!!
Songbird: I have watched TWC faithfully for twenty years. I will begin a boycott. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: Hee Hee. You are such the minimalist. Cheers!!
Dianne: I would respond to your comment but I didn't really read it. Cheers Di!!
You and JR have the same TV watching habits. They put Roker on the Food Channel and I about shit. Sure, he knows a bunch about food. You don't get that big without consuming a lot of food but that doesn't mean you know anything about good food.
Schmoop only came once? WTF! You need to work a little harder on that.
Michele: Well JR is obviously a man of high brow sensibilities...or something.
Roker makes my stomach turn. Over and Over and Over. I will be announcing a Weather Channel boycott next week. I must make my stand.
And you're right, and it was last night, I didn't live up to my skillz. I am full of shame. I shall try to make up for it tonight and tomorrow. Cheers Michele!!
How can you put down a guy who's as happy as Al Roker? I'll betcha that guy doesn't pull any shit on anybody. I have a hard time even thinking that the guy couldn't be anything but ...a good guy. I don't know, maybe he has me fooled, and he beats his wife or something. I always liked him, a guy who knows how to have fun with kids. His job seems to me, to be what the big boys tell him to do. He doesn't spew ambition like many!
Micky: Well that's fine. Al can be Father of the Year, and yes, he seems pleasant to a point, but...
He's a hypocrite and he has no business being on The Weather Channel. AND, he cheated on his weight loss...He had to do it surgically. He had not the self control to do it otherwise. Pussy. Of course, that's my opinion...
Cheers Mick!!
Roker kinda makes my skin crawl. I don't watch him on NBC and I'm sure I would never want to "wake up" with him.
I perversely like watching the local weather guys here in DC to keep up with the few times they are right about anything beyond what is happening outside-the-window-right-now since that is about the only thing they have any success with.
I agree with Mickey...y'all just haters...haters i tell ya..
In this putrefied world where we are subjected to so much bile...a little happiness is not a bad thing...
Now 7am for a special show and not the weather seems odd to me.
Just curious.....what makes him a hypocrite in your opinion?
And I do think he has as much a right to be on The Weather Channel as any other TV Bimbo.
A job is a job. And TV Bimbos make a whole shitload of money.
David: Ha. When are you going to start your own blog? You're quite amusing. The world needs you. Cheers David!!
Bond: I hate very few people. I don't HATE Roker. I find him to be a corporate slug, and politically correct bonehead who made a name for himself. That's fine, but he doesn't deserve to be on TWC. Cheers!!
Micky: His hypocrisy came about over the Imus incident.
Roker had said that he had listened to I-Man for years and found him funny. Roker was more than happy to get some publicity for the book he had written on I-Man's show.
Once Imus made the, "ho" comment, Roker was among those who called for his firing from MSNBC. Roker was just jumping on the Sharpton bandwagon. Cheers Mick!!
There you go again, thinking that weather forecasters should be scientists. PFFFTTT! What other science allows for a 50% failure rate yet still considers you "accurate"?
Weather is nothing more than entertainment ... which still makes me wonder why they hired Al!
Dana: Hey now...A typical weather forecast that is not out more than 72 hours is accurate far more than 50%.
Typically their correct rate runs about 85%. Far more successful than the a professional baseball player who only has to hit the ball 1 out of 3 times to be successful. Cheers!!
SEE NOW, 50% IS NOTHING...I AM IN A BUSINESS WHERE, IF YOU GET A 3% RESPONSE YOU ARE A FREAKIN GENIUS!
Roker on the road...kill
I know you really do not wish Al to be struck by lightning. Right, Matt? Right?
Humor me, K?
Bond: I'm going to start calling you, "Mr. Three Percent". Cheers Vin!!
Anony: Well put, Hair Care. Cheers!!
Mimi: Okay...maybe just an electrical grazing. Cheers Mimi!!
Would someone please tell Ms Tesch to stop looking so damn hot? I mean she really needs to give up that gig, make some room for Al, and start spending some quality time with yours truely...
Weather Channel has some hot babes, but Heather Tesch is easily the most beautiful. She might be the most gorgeous woman on any of the news channels, to be honest with you. But this station has been the Titanic for a long time, it didn't start with Roker. His lame ass might speed up the process, but it started the day NBC bought them out.
If they go under, I could care less what happens to any of them outside of the lovely Heather. I'd love to see her move to one of the bigger networks. Most likely it would be CNN. That way she doesn't even have to leave Atlanta.
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