Tuesday, September 01, 2009

2009 NCAA College Football Season: Here's To Charlie Weis!!

Ahhhhh, the first day of September, and Labor Day Weekend is just a couple of days away.

It’s an extended weekend for many Americans, including myself. I am off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and guess what I shall be doing…

Drinking mass quantities of potent potables and watching College Football!!


Damn Straight!! The 2009 NCAA Football season begins Thursday night, and the initial week of games continues right on through Monday.

Oh dear God, I do love it so.

There are a couple of really good match-ups taking place…Oregon vs. Boise State, Georgia vs. Oklahoma State, Alabama vs. Virginia Tech, and of course Saturday afternoon…

The Wolfpack of The University of Nevada invades South Bend to take on my beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

I have no doubt that ND will suck, break my heart, and leave me spewing expletives from my mouth and steam from my big ears.

I have suffered through the Davie years, lost hope through the Willingham years, and now, I throw things at the TV through the Charlie Weis years.

Charlie “I Helped to Coach 18,000 Super Bowl Champions” Weis, has consistently put a defense on the field that operates under what I call, “The Croquet Wicket System” because ND opponents have no trouble rolling right through it.

He has done a decent job developing current Cleveland Browns and former ND QB Brady Quinn as well as current Irish QB Jimmy Claussen. Quinn and Claussen have become decent players because of Weis’ genius.

The success of those two has been in large part due to the fact Weis is incapable of developing an effective running game even if his upcoming opponent is, The University of Blind Thalidomide Babies.

When a team can’t run the ball, and as a result has to throw it often, a QB can get pretty good at passing and getting up off of his ass after taking a bone crushing, blind side hit from a 325 pound defensive end.

Oh Charlie…How you make us Notre Dame fans proud.


In fact, you make the entire Irish race proud, because when seeing a couple of Irish guys like Quinn and Claussen never failing to get up after another pounding on national TV, it proves how tough we Irish truly are.

God Bless Ya, Charlie.

On a sad note…


We suffered a death in the Bagwine Family over the weekend. The remote to our cable box, whom I have loved, adored, and long ago named, hANNd Margret, died from natural causes.

My sexy siren who offered me a world of entertainment, ease of channel surfing, and a feeling of omnipotence, could give no more.

As a result of her passing, I must trot down to our local Time Warner Cable office sometime this morning, and pick up a new channel girl...

For this weekend, I have beer to drink, a Charlie Weis Voodoo Doll to construct, and dozens of college football games between which I must be able to flip back and forth.

Cheers!!

27 comments:

David said...

Alex - I'll take Potent Potables for $400 please.

I love the term potent potables.

Matt-Man said...

David: Ha. I do too. Cheers David!!

Scott Oglesby said...

This is the one time of year that it really chaps my ass living in Spain. Not only can I not watch 97% of all sporting events, the 3% that I can watch are on at 4 or 5 in the morning. I told you my live feed went out in the final minute of the Superbowl. I might be back in time for the bowl games tho.

At least you don’t have to suffer Dave Wannstedt- even his name is retarded!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha. I take it that since you're from Pittsburgh you are a supporter and/or Pitt grad.

One of the few things I don't like about my job at the Beer Mine is that I work every Sunday from 11-7 so I miss most of the NFL games.

But, as I am a biger fan of College football and have Saturdays off, I can live with that. If you're in the States around Bowl Season you're welcome to stop by the Bagwine abode. Cheers Scott!!

Michele said...

I am heartened to hear that Notre Dame sucks. If ND can just suck worse than my team we might have a chance of winning against them on Oct31 in San Antonio. I console myself with alcohol, also.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. I don't know if Notre Dame is as bad as your Cougars. I mean outside of that fast little shit they have at receiver, WSU probably isn't going to be too good this year. Cheers Michele!!

Micky-T said...

You may be mistaken, it was in the old days we had to "flip" from channel to channel.
Do you remember getting up and having to flip that knob around, thunk,thunk,thunk,(pause)thunk,thunk,thunk.
And these days we gently "push" a soft velvety button from channel to channel and call it surfing, , , ,(pause) , , .
When will even "that" be to much effort for your average potato person? I'm sure someone today is working and getting paid to figure that out.
I hope you have a pushing good football season.

Dianne said...

will there be televised services for hANNd Margret?

I really can't follow college football but I appreciate a tight end who knows how to penetrate

Matt-Man said...

Micky: God forbid I would have to get up and change the channel. I want to have a chip installed in my head that allows me to just think of a channel and the TV goes directly to it. Cheers Mick!!

Dianne: No public service...What I am going to hANNd prior to turning her in is strictly bewteen her and I, but I will tell you. It does involve a Tight End and penetration. Cheers Di!!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Tight Ends are about the only thing I can get into about football. And the massive amounts of beer, of course.

Michele said...

Beyond a couple of times a century the Cougars are never very good. We have learned to live with disappointment.

Matt-Man said...

Fantasy: And of course nothing goes better with football than beer...well, and pizza. Cheers Meg!!

Michele: I feel your pain. Notre Dame other than a couple of good, but not great seasons has not been a powerhouse since Lou Holtz left after the '95 season. From that point on...It's been 13 painful years. Cheers Michele!!

Cheesy said...

*** A moment of silence for hANNd*****.....

K enough of that~


YELL~OOOOOOO-Go ducks!

Matt-Man said...

Cheesy: Thank You for your condolences and here's to the Ducks and their always hot University of Orgasm cheerleading squad. And...may they piss all over USC again this year. Cheers Cheesy!!

Jay said...

RIP hANNd Margaret. She was a hottie.

Weis looked pretty good his first two years with Ty Willingham's players. But, the night they got stomped into the ground by LSU in the Sugar Bowl, I think we all knew what was coming next.

I think it probably would have helped Weis to wait a while and win some bowl games before he started telling everyone what a superior coach he is. He clearly came with a belief that just his presence alone made ND a thousand times better than every other team. Hasn't worked out that way. Just like in basketball, coaching means more in college and those college coaches that Charlie looked down on are actually pretty damn good.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Her curves were so ergonomically purrrrfect.

Yeah Charlie started out okay, but he hasn't been able to do shit on his own. Claussen started looking good toward the end of last year but if they can't run the ball and take some heat off of him, Claussen's a dead man. Cheers!!

Dana said...

Hmmm ... this must mean it's time for "THE" shirt.

L or XL?

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Ha. I'll be wearing the one you sent come Saturday. Much to my better judgement. Um...make it an XL. I get a beer gut on Saturdays during football season. ; ) Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

"because ND opponents have no trouble rolling right through it."

OUCH! That was cold, Matt :P

katherine. said...

I'm actually rather excited about Neuheisel.

Are we going to have a naming ceremony for the new remote?

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I love them, but the truth is the truth. They've been awful. Cheers Starr!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Hee Hee...I couldn't get the remote today, but yes, I have a name for the new remote picked out.

Neuheisel should do just fine...If he can keep himself from partying with the lovely Bruin co-eds. Cheers Kat!!

Schmoop said...

Yea Notre Dame football!!! Yelling, throwing things at the tv. Yea!!!! Seriously though, I can't wait!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Will you wear nothing but your ND Wife Beater while we watch? Cheers!!

Dana said...

Ummmm ... Schmoop? Do you need your very own "THE" shirt so that you and Matt match? Aww ... that made me think of my grandparents - they always matched!

Size? Shirt you silly ... not Matt!

Bond said...

Off thursday, Friday AND Saturday... hummmmmmmmmmmm

katherine. said...

thinking of you…smile