Wednesday, August 12, 2009

NOS Kicks Ass...

Man, it was humid yesterday. Working in the Beer Mine was a sweaty and tiring adventure.

I always drink plenty (3-4 liters) of Ice Mountain water while I’m there, but sometimes the struggle of keeping up with the demands of thirsty and nicotine starved patrons wears on me.

It’s rough on the Matt-Man, especially when I know that when I am done at work...

I have to go home, sit down to my computer, drink beer, and make the Bagwine magic happen for the next day.

Sometimes simply drinking water isn’t enough, and I require a pick me up prior to leaving the Drive-Thru.

When I need an energy drink to get me through, which one do I turn to?

Full Throttle? No. Red Bull? Pfffft, it should be called Red Bullshit. Rockstar? Ha. That crap is a rock star on the level of Richard Marx…or Richard Carpenter.

Monster, perhaps? The only thing scary about that stuff is the price, the taste, and the lack of bitch in it.

No my friends…When I need powerful shot of B6 and B12, along with Ginseng, Caffeine, Taurine, L-Carnitine, and Inositol…

I go with the high performance energy drink that kicks ass. NOS!! Yeah baby, NOS…KICKS…ASS. And, it tastes goooooood.

NOS comes in three flavors. Original (citrus), Grape, and my personal favorite (as well as Pizza Bill’s), Fruit Punch.

The Fruit Punch NOS is like Hawaiian Punch on steroids…or crack. My tastes buds are happy; my mind is sharp, and my motor skills race more quickly than that of a rabbit’s reproductive system.

I don’t keep the legal high of NOS to myself. No sir. If someone comes through the Beer Mine and is unfamiliar with energy drinks but wants one, I push the NOS.

That’s right. My name is Matt-Man, and I’m a NOS pusher. And dammit, I am proud of it.

Most take my word for the quality of NOS because they see me running after ice…jumping from cooler to cooler, and bringing them three twelve packs of beer, six packs of smokes, and two bags of chips in one trip. All the while…

Still managing to stare at the cleavage that belongs to the hot chick in the car behind them. The Coca-Cola Company has purchased a winner in NOS.

To the folks who make NOS I say unto you: “Me Love You Long Time.”

And folks…As a matter of full disclosure I haven’t been compensated for this post in any manner, however…

If the NOS folks would like to send me a case of their magic, happy drink, I sure as hell wouldn’t turn it down.

And, if you’d like to visit the NOS site, you can do so by clicking HERE. Even if you’re not into energy drinks, they do have pictures of hot NOS babes…

Drink NOS, and as always…

Cheers!!

37 comments:

Starrlight said...

Red Bull is soooooo disgusting. It's like a phlegmy cough syrup. I love me some B Vitamin high though so I might just be trying this.

I could use it. Took 3 teens to a movie tonight. Oy.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Oy indeed. And amazingly you survived. You are Wonder Woman. NOS is the ticket, baby. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

Yesterday I took 3 of them to the mall. After having had sleep overs x 2 in less than a week. I be am tired.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: You have it much harder than I and yet I must be tired too, because I initially spelled, "Kicks" as "Kics" in the title. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

LOL and I didn't notice it either! I am working 3 ten hour days to make up for my 5 hours yesterday and today and I am damn pleased to go sit at my desk for 10 hours. It sounds bloody restful.

Scott Oglesby said...

Hawaiian Punch on crack? If something is normally good, you can be sure it’s a whole helluva lot better on crack! I know there was this kid in the old neighborhood; he rarely gave a rat’s ass about earth day or the environment. That is, until he found crack. From then on it was like someone lit a fire under his ass! All day long you could see him walking up and down the street with his shopping cart, picking up all the litter (all the tin cans anyway) and taking it down to the recycling center. He even became proactive and started helping to remove the old copper from abandoned houses. I don’t think the local police were very environmentally conscious though, because they put him in jail. Fascists!
I’ll try your new energy drink! Care to send some to Spain?

Candice said...

I would have a heart attack if I drank that shit.

One time I drank a half a can of Rockstar and I got all jittery and began having heart palpitations.

Needless to say I'm a lightweight when it comes to caffeine. ;)

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha. Those damn police types. Always trying to keep a socially conscious brother down. You really need to start putting your comments here in a post on your site. You funny. Cheers Scott!!

Candice: So what's the big deal if you get all jittery? Is there anything wrong with an ER Nurse who is all shaky and wired up, n'shit? Cheers Candice!!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I hope you are rested upon checking in today. Cheers Starr!!

Dianne said...

I can't compose a worthy comment after seeing the righteous sexiness that is the Matt-Man glistening.

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: I took a picture with the shirt off as well. I'll send the picture of me in my glistening glory to you directly. Cheers Sexy!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...what the hell kind of name is NOS?
Is it short for NOStril?
Does it stand for Not Other Shit?
Numb On Soda?
Nutritious Ostrich Swill?...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha. It stands for Nitrous Oxide System. It's a motor system developed by Holley Motors. Cheers P-Man!!

Micky-T said...

I've never in my life swilled down a trumped up beaverage. Well maybe if a V8 counts.

But I've tried crack.

Dana said...

Oh no! You and Cam share a love of the same drink ... or is it the NOS chicks??

I'm not sure which thought disturbs me more.

David said...

I never had any of those energy drinks - I get my caffeine buzz from good ole basic diet coke.

But hey, if it works for Matt-Man in the Beer Mine, it should work for me. I'll check it out next chance I have.

Cheers

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I have crack every Thursday night, and let me tell ya; It's Schmoopilicious. Cheers Mick!!

Dana: Good Man. NOS Rawwwwwwks. And yeah, so do the NOS Babes. Maybe there's something in the NOS that makes a guy horny. Cheers Dana!!

David: Go for the Fruit Punch. Taste and a good speed buzz wrapped into one little bottle. It's distributed by Coke so you wouldn't have to consider yourself a traitor to your brand of choice. I can't drink pop often...It kills my stomach. Cheers David!!

Jay said...

I don't need any of those drinks. I just take my morning syringe full of awesome and I'm good to go. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I am surprised. I figured that you were just naturally god-like awesome. You need take an awsome drug for that? Cheers Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Evidently I should inject myself with a spelling drug. Cheers!!

Bond said...

I don't need your energy drink or Jay's shot...because the awesomeness that is me is all natural...all wonderful...all wanted.

Don't do energy drinks...I have my one Pepsi a day and I make it through...

Starrlight said...

I am recovering nicely thanks to MY energy drink. Today it is a dark roast Guatamalen. That and the side of fried eggs and hashbrowns and cheese is helping my outlook tremendously.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Your "awesomeness" is wanted by whom? And man, I love the NOS. The taste is like the nectar that Mercury would drink. Cheers!!

Starr: Mmmmmmmmm. Eggs and Hashbrowns. How can that not improve a person's outlook? Cheers!!

Bond said...

You for one Sir...you can be as snarky as you like, but you want to be me...

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Hmmmmmmmmm. As much as I like you and think Nancy is a wunnerful lady, I have no desire to be an Italian guy who is getting married. Cheers!!

Andy said...

Matt - you are one nosty dude!

Matt-Man said...

Andy: That's good, right? RIGHT? Cheers Andy!!

Michele said...

I've never tried any of the energy drinks out on the market. I'm such a freak.

Andy said...

It's all good brother.

Matt-Man said...

Andy: Amen, and Amen. Cheers Ang!!

katherine. said...

Peets Sumatra is my drug of choice.

I've tried the energy drinks but they give me horrible crash. I might try NOS.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Purrrrrrr. NOS is really good and the downside, i.e. "crash" is minimal. Cheers Kat!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Thanks, I’m glad you think I’m funny. It’s a lot easier for me to be funny in other people’s comments than my own blog. I think because I have an AD-man’s brain; I work best in one minute soundbites! I wish I could incorporate them into my blog. Let me know if you think of a way!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: I'm just the opposite. My comments on others blogs are never very funny. Maybe together, you and I compose an actual person. Cheers Scott!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I'm sorry that I omitted you. Anyhoo, sexy librarians need no such drinks. Cheers!!

Desert Rat said...

Nice plug! If I was a NOS kinda girl I'd be all over it faster than ants on an Oreo!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Hee Hee...I have honey all over me. Cheers!!