Thursday, August 13, 2009

Rick Pitino and Karen Sypher: I'd Like The Spaghetti, Meat, and Balls With A Side of Extortion

Rick Pitino…

University of Louisville basketball coach…Devout Roman Catholic…A man who enjoys incorporating food into his sex life with women other than his wife.

He’s the ultimate triple threat, and…a source of irony.

If you haven’t heard, Louisville Head Basketball Coach, Rick Pitino has been involved in some legal wrangling involving an extramarital liaison that he had with the Bluegrass State floozie and wearer of way too much make-up, Karen Sypher.

Evidently, ol’ Rick “The Stick” Pitino engaged in a sexual encounter with one Karen Sypher back in August of 2003.

In keeping with the limelight he enjoys as one of our nation’s most successful basketball coaches, Pitino and Sypher did the full court nasty next to, under, and on top of a table at the upscale Louisville restaurant, Porcini.

Oh Baby, I can see Pitino’s olive oil covered head bobbin up and down under Sypher’s skirt as she is writhing and screaming, “Mangia!! Mangia!!”

Unfortunately…Pitino couldn’t adhere strictly to the, “eatin’ ain’t cheatin’ rule.” Noooooo, Mr. Big Stuff had to bring his A-Game to the table as well as his hardwood court experience. Damn right.

Rick the Stick, slam dunked Sypher’s love basket and in the process got fouled because his move created a three-point play. Him, her, and her womb.

Yep, it seems that not only did Pitino spring for a really good Porcini dinner, he got her pregnant. See what happens when you order ala carte? It’s costly.

Well, Sypher wanted to have an abortion so Pitino coughed up $3,000.00. Of course being the devout Catholic that he is, he claims it was merely to help her get health coverage.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that anyone who has just banged a prominent person is in return, looking for an insurance policy with affordable premiums and a 10 dollar co-pay.

C’mon Pitino don’t lie. God and Pope Benny are watching you.

Of course, the story takes a turn for the worse. It appears that years later Sypher got a hair up her ass that wasn’t Pitino’s and decided to try to extort 10 Million Dollars from Pitino in order to keep things quiet.

Pitino said no; so guess what lipstick pig Sypher did?

That’s right…she claimed that their consensual, culinary carnality was actually an act of restaurant rape perpetuated by Pitino.

Ha…Yeah right, food whore.

The funny thing is…Sypher was, at the time, married (now estranged) to Pitino’s equipment manager, Tim Sypher.

I guess Tim isn’t too good at his job because he failed to manage his boss’s equipment from hosing his wife.

Wow…What a tangled web we weave. Here’s the thing, and the irony that I mentioned at the beginning of this blather.

Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC), and now Rick Pitino have recenty been busted for having affairs.

I have always found Gov. Mark Sanford to be a loon. Not quite with it. Kind of a Barney Rubble living in a Jetson’s world, but now, I’m not so sure.

While Ensign and Pitino were puttin’ the salami to the wives of friends and staff members in offices and restaurants here in the states…

Sanford at least had the good sense to hose some chick with no ties to his administration in an apartment in Argentina.

Sure he got caught as well, but damn…compared to the other two, Sanford’s a frickin’ genius.

Anyhoo, that’s all I have to say about that. Well there is one other thing…

To the owners of the restaurant, Porcini…Now is the perfect time to Americanize the name of your eatery.

Why don’t you rename it, Porky’s?

Cheers!!

50 comments:

katherine. said...

Pitino couldn’t adhere strictly to the, “eatin’ ain’t cheatin’ rule.” Noooooo, Mr. Big Stuff had to bring his A-Game to the table as well as his hardwood court experience

clever.
however....

there is no such rule.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: You're not a guy. Otherwise, you would be aware of the rule. Cheers Kat!!

Jay said...

There's a reason why Pitino is called "Rick the Reptile." He's a snake.

Glad he has a priest on his bench all the time to show us how Christian he is.

katherine. said...

I like bein' a girl.

so...Sypher is cheating, but Pitino is not?

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...Can you believe his, "I thought it was for health care" line. What a phony puke. Cheers Jay!!

Kat: What? Pitino is a jerk. Everyone involved in this is lying. Hell yeah, Pitino is is a cheating liar. I don't know where I said he wasn't. Cheers Kat!!

Lu' said...

Scandle schmandle just another political dick tripping over it while tiptoeing through some weeds patch :)

Scott Oglesby said...

I’m half Italian (the other half Irish-lucky me) so I can say with authority that there are two things that Italian men can not refuse; racehorses and cheap blonds. If someone put a blond wig and lipstick on an Arabian, he would have gave it $20 mil.

I used to think Sanford was an asshat as well; but you HAVE to admire a man with an Argentine mistress. He’s a couple of kilo’s shy of being ‘Miami Vice’ drug lord cool.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: The worse thing is is that he is just plain lying about not knowing that she was using the money for an abortion. Cheers Lu!!

Scott: Hee Hee. A story about him having sex with a wig wearing horse would have been far funnier. Here's to your Irish side. Cheers Scott!!

Bond said...

Except Sypher did not meet her future husband until after the incident as she met Pitino at Sypher's apartment when he gave her the money for health insurance.

But why let facts get in the way of humor?

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Married or just seeing each other, what the hell. I'm the only one dealing in facts. Sypher and Pitino are both lying...and poorly I might add. Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...ah, to be Mrs. Pitino...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: No kiddin'. Mr. Pitino...Welcome to the World of Walking on Eggshells the Rest of Your Life. Or at least for the rest of your marriage. Cheers P-Man!!

Bond said...

and who really cares?

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Evidently the administration at the U of L doesn't, but I bet Mrs. Pitino and her five kids do. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

the Mangia Mangia part killed me!!

imagine how much could get done in this country if people - and the press!! - stopped giving a fuck about who screws who (whom?) and when and why

Starrlight said...

I stopped being impressed after Bill Clinton added cigars to the equation. No has topped that yet and I highly doubt they will.

katherine. said...

cigars? cigarettes? tiparillos?

katherine. said...

hmmm....peccadillo

there is a poem just waiting for a poet

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: But why? I follow who is screwing who because I never get any so I live vicariously through them. Oh, and it's funny. Cheers Di!!

Starr: I am still sorry that he lied about it. He would be even cooler in my eyes if had said..."Hell yeah she sucked my dick." Cheers!!

Kat: Maybe RJ Reynolds or Phillip Morris can work on that. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

The public's interest in...and media's reporting on...the sexual activity of celebrities will never go away.

Even here in Bagwine the posts and comments pretty much prove that out.

Most times those in the entertainment industries (athletes, actors, performers) get far less flack for their escapades than politicians. Not sure why we think the hormones and human nature should be any different in ANY occupation. I don't think those elected to office should be held to any higher standard.

It is the politicians who LIE when caught who need to be taken to task. In this time of high tech data and detailed investigations...once you're caught with your hand in the cookie jar to get before the camera and try and lie about it should cost you your job. You not only lie...you are stupid.

But only those in public office....if you rule at the box office...your world is playing someone you are not. Keep pretending.

Pitano (a coach btw...not a politician) his story is a bigger deal because of the extortion and rape charges...and the pregnancy.

Sanford...didn't lie. He got caught up in an affair of the heart and made the mistake of letting the world see his heart break. But the people who elected him have stood by him...and want him to remain governor.

Personally...I'm waiting on the paternity tests from Rielle Hunter.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Very well thought out comment. I hate those, because now I have to reply in well thought out manner and Thursday is my drinking day, dammit!!

I can only respond as to why I mention stuff like this.

Pitino while not a criminal like Sypher is lying that he didn't know about her using the money to get an abortion...In my opinion anyway, and it's all to protect his future.

Everyone screws up Rick...Just admit it. Thousands of us "regular" people admit it everyday. I admit my fuck ups on a daily basis.

As for Sanford I disagree to an extent. There are several friends and advisors who have left him, and the man lied out his ass. Love or not, he broke his trust to others, but hey, I am not a South Carolinian so far be it from me to ask him to resign.

As for Edwards? I would have any person who doesn't think Hunter's kid is his to have their head examined.

Sheesh...I'm exhausted now and Schmoop's brother is coming over to shave my head. Why do you torture me?

Cheers Kat!!

katherine. said...

niiiiice.
you know I like a well shaved head.

I haven't heard Pitano's actual quote...and to some abortion is healthcare. Who knows? Sypher could have lied to him.

Some of Sanford's staff did leave...not unlike Leon Panetta did. He resigned...but did not want to see Clinton ousted from office. There is a broken trust...no doubt.

But really....

Isn't there a difference between a quickie on a restaurant table and a heartfelt love affair?

Isn't there a difference between lying to coworkers about where you are going for a weekend and lying to dozens of reporters who are asking you point blank about an ongoing affair?

And....when the recipient of a blow job can claim that isn't having sexual relations....I toss my hands up in resignation.

Personally? I will never be able to hold the positions of...President, Governor, Senator, Congressman, or college Basketball Coach.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Sadly, your last paragraph is the most noteworthy. In the era of cultural ADD and 24/7 Cable News no one is "pure" enough to hold office. People want to drag anyone and everyone down based on one mistake or two.

Hell, Washington, Jefferson, and especially Frankilin could never be a major player in our country these days.

People would be judging them on their private lives.

But as for Sanford and Clinton...is there really any degree to lying? Especially when the sole purpose of the particular lie is to save one's own ass?

Cheers Kat!!

katherine. said...

not only the founding fathers....but FDR, Ike and JFK for example.

I have to dispute the similarity between the lies of Sanford and Clinton....

Sanford's lies were about where he was going on his own time...not covering his ass after he got caught. Lying yes...to his staff and his friends and far more importantly his wife who already knew about his affair. But when asked where he was...and who he was with...and why....he was painfully honest.

Here's a question...for you and the bagwine constituency...if you found out you were being cheated on...would you take them back?

Matt-Man said...

Kat: During his initial news conference, Sanford lied his ass off. Only after the reporter from The State started yakking did he start telling the truth.

But nonetheless, I am not going to argue the degree of lie-liness of Clinton and Sanford...It is what it is.

As for your question about cheating and taking them back...I don't know. It's never happened to me in my adult years...that I know of. Cheers Kat!!

Starrlight said...

With respect to Clinton and politicians who lie about affairs in general. Unless they go on and on about moral issues -particularly abortion and gay rights - I don't much care what pony they are riding.

The only reason they lie is because for some incredibly fucked up reason, the American population (who statistically cheat more often than not) feel that some how, who someone is fucking has something to do with their job as a senator, governer or President.

If this were not an issue the media and the hypocritical public did not see it as something relevant it would be a non issue.

As to holding them to a higher standard...allow me to snort. Go ask your doctor, dentist, insurance agent, childrens teachers, your check out clerk etc etc if they cheat. Grill em till they cave. Then dump them.

Sounds a wee bit ridiculous, no?

Bond said...

Totally ridiculous Starr...

What they do on their own, that does not impact their job, is only between themselves, their families and their God and for us to judge and criticize them when we all have imperfect lives is also ridiculous.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: As it has been said we see in others what stands out. At least on here, I only pick on people who are hypocrites. In this case, Pitino holds himself up as a devout Catholic.

Uh-Huh...Maybe as much as me. He paid for an abortion. I don't hold people famous or otherwise, to a higher standard, I just dislike hypocrisy, and God knows Pitino has to recruit. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I disagree on the surface Vinny...

If one is in the position of leading (legislators) or teaching(coach) one should be a little bit above us mere mortals.

I'm not saying pilllars of virtue, hell, I love folks like that to be human, but...

Lose the hypocrisy and focus on people and not your next reelection or coaching gig. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

See I don't think it matters at all for any profession with the except of say priest and those who flap their mouths about how moral they are and point the finger at other as being immoral.

Because let's be real, the most current stats I saw put cheating between 50-70% of married people.

I had a high school teacher who cheated. He was awesome. I learned a shit ton. Did the fact that he cheated on his wife impact my education? Nope. So I am gonna have to disagree with holding those in leadership positions to a higher standard. Teachers and legislators are there to educate me in the three R's and legislaters are there to run a country. Them porking the maid impacts me not in the least.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I merely want people to be who they are...

When I speak of a higher standard, I'm saying that people, legislators in particular, shouldn't try to blow smoke up my ass or anyone else's when the whole time they are smoking a Marlboro. Cheers!

Starrlight said...

Oh there we agree. If they are flapping lips and be a hypocrite then by all means have at them. But if they don't make morality the issue then frankly I don't care or want to know. I've seen enough bad porn in my life without having to ponder some of these skeezoids knocking boots.

Bond said...

Well if your last statement is correct Matt, then why pick on Pitino? This devout Catholic thing does not hold water - sorry. Most of the Catholics I know disagree with the Church's stand on abortion.

And giving her $3,000 after she told him she did not have insurance does not mean it was for an abortion...or were you in the room when they had that discussion.

Stones and glass houses...ya know...

Desert Rat said...

I agree with Bond: What they do on their own, that does not impact their job, is only between themselves, their families and their God and for us to judge and criticize them when we all have imperfect lives is also ridiculous.

With this note: I don't want them to lie; however, how can they do otherwise when, essentially, they are forced to by people who try to hold them to a higher standard?

Now, I can cotton to holding someone to a higher standard when it comes to the performance of their job (especially if they are an elected official or a teacher, for example) - they better know what in Hell they are doing. But because "morality" is subjective, I don't think it's my business what they do off the clock, particularly when it comes to who they're screwing.

(This is in no way meant to imply that I condone behaviors that are harmful to the innocent, e.g., children, animals, etc., just that sex between consenting adults should stay between said consenting adults.)

katherine. said...

So we have what…
a president…a vice president…
50 governors
100 senators
535 members of congress
(not counting the nine…as they are not elected)

Why do we require this group (let alone expect this group) to be faithful to their partner without exception? Would that be representative of our population?

When they campaign for your vote…does the subject of fidelity and monogamy ever come up? If you elect me I promise no sex scandals?

no one gives a hump speech

Starrlight said...

Since political speeches are usually dry...would they be dry hump speeches? I might tune in for that.

katherine. said...

@starr: no kidding….why are politians different than doctors or lawyers or captains of industry?

@matt: I don’t think you will find any human who has not stepped out against their own personal code of ethics. It is by definition of human to err. Everyone…every single human has had a hypocritical thought word and deed. If Pitino was jewish it would be just as hypocritical. Even if he were an Atheist it would be hypocrisy against his wedding vows. His faith does not make his behavior a greater indiscretion.

@bond: starr was being facetious…but otherwise you are spot on. The infidelity is wrong but not the basis for job termination. The lying makes us think they are gonna lie to us too.

@ d-Rat: I was gonna copy and paste your entire comment. Well said.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Yes we do, and now, if you will, let me get to the person i question... Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Now wait just a minute sport...

If Pitino claims to adhere to the Catholic teachings, you know like when he coached at Providence (Home of the Friars) shouldn't he follow ALL of the teachings. Or, does he, being an American Catholics that you know, get to pick and choose? I.E. Abortion?

I was just making a humorous post about the sad, entire thing, but if you want to get into a debate about morals, committment to a faith, and an oath of matrimony, bring it on.

I am not making a moral judgment on Pitino or Sypher...I have too many skeletons in the closet to do that.

All I am saying is that they both let themselves and a boat load of others down. Is that something that rubs you the wrong way? Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: And as you pointed and I agree with...When things like this come up, I never talk about the morality of the situation...He and Sypher can have all of the sex they want.

It's the lying and ususally in this situation or with a politician, it's the hypocrisy. Cheers Rat!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I am actually gonna bite my tongue...because you I like you. Cheers Kat!!

katherine. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katherine. said...

speak of the devil

Bond said...

#1 - People of all religions pick and choose unless they are part of the clergy of that religion (and we know they don't always follow the teaching even then)

I am not sure why his being a Catholic makes this any worse...as Katherine said, if he was Jewish or Hindu or Muslim or Protestant or whatever, he cheated on his wife.

You can't state that he endorsed the abortion - sorry dude...you were not there or in his head..what if he did give her the money thinking it would be for insurance.

The only one in this whole affair that lied was Sypher when she went and filed a rape charge.

#2 I don't judge others on their personal behavior when it does not impact what they do.

If someone smokes pot at night, should they be fired because their bosses do not agree and because it is illegal? I think not.

Should someone lose their job because when they leave the office they go home and watch porno and that is considered wrong? no again.

Should he lose his job because he had a one night stand absolutely not.

And he is the one who went to the police and the administration and told them, what was going on. he never stood up and said 'it did not happen'

the only people who have ANYTHING to say to Pitino is his family...

My final words on this subject.

Dana said...

To the owners of the restaurant, Porcini…Now is the perfect time to Americanize the name of your eatery.

Why don’t you rename it, Porky’s?


BWAAHAHAHA! I wasn't even going to comment on this post as I haven't been following the story, but those lines were just too good to let go uncommented on!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: See? We agreed on the sperm fertilizer of the chick's egg. Cheers!!

Bond: Man...It's not about him being a Catholic...It's about him being a DEVOUT Catholic.

And please, don't willy nilly throw out there that people just pick and choose what they want from a religion. Maybe you do...Maybe I do..Maybe your neighbor or my neighbor does.

But...Many folks don't...And,

If they do so, they are not a DEVOUT follower. Devout has the connotation of adherence of Church Doctrine. Not, ironically, an ala carte choosing of what was, in this case, decided in Nicene and backrooms of the Vatican.

No, I don't know what was in Pitino's mind when it came to the 3,000 dollars. but I bet it involved self-relief, and not an insurance plan brought on by Sypher's friendly Allstate Agent.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: And I appreciate the comic relief. I liked the line. Cheers Dana!!

katherine. said...

how many times as Edwards gone on the record about this subject only to have to admit he lied...

the scary thing is if he had run for president back in the day...I would have voted for him.

katherine. said...

without donning my lexicographer hat or surfing my etymology resources...

It seems many use the word devout to denote heartfelt, deeply faithful belief.

And others use the word to define an obedient adherence to the laws and rules of a particular doctrine.

Through out history the tenets of various religions have evolved due to economics, politics, science and cultural morays. Many times it is those who are most devout who bring about the change...they do not do so willy nilly...but out of true belief...even when it is contrary to what their religion dictates.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I would have never voted for Edwards but I did get to meet him and spend a few minutes with him in 2003 in Columbus, Ohio. Eh...Big Deal that it is. Anyhoo..

As for the "devout" strain of your comment. I agree that religions evolve or even devolve over time, however, devout also means that one adheres to the exercises and tenets promulgated by, in this case, the Vatican.

For anyone, including the lovely Vinny to imply that Pitino was actually paying for health care rather than an abortion, is bullshit. Pitino made certain to say that becuase he is an alleged Catholic. Who knows? Maybe he wants to coach at Notre Dame at some point.

I do not know how we got onto the believing in every tenet of a religion thing, but to me that is one of the problems with organized religion, and why I don't participate.

If you belong to a club, don't you have to adhere to the rules? And if you don't, are you really a member?

As Vinny said, some Catholics pick and choose. I do that. I pick and choose from religions based on what I think is wise.

However, if one chooses to only pick and choose, they may be religious but they are not in essence, a true member of that religion.

Cheers!!