Saturday, September 12, 2009

Hey South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson...You Should Be More Like Mike Duvall

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC)…He shouted, “You Lie” during President Obama’s address this past Wednesday.

That of course, made him look like a petulant child. But more so than being childish, you know what Joe Wilson is?

He’s a wimp…a chicken shit…a pussy.

Why do I say that? Because he apologized, then he back tracked on it to an extent, and then made a whiny fundraising video asking people for their help…and their cash.

Suck it up Joe. If you have the nerve to call Obama a liar during a joint address of Congress, man up and stand behind your claim and apologize to no one.

Dude, this is your fifteen minutes of fame dammit.

When your time is up do you want to be remembered as the congressman who called out a President or just another milquetoast politician who was trying to grab some pub and donations for your reelection?

You need to be more like your fellow Republican, California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (R-Yorba Linda)…

Well, I guess he’s now known as, FORMER Assemblyman, Mike Duvall (R-His Wife’s Doghouse).

Hell, Duvall not only cheated on his wife with an energy lobbyist, he cheated on the lobbyist with another woman. And then…

He bragged about it to Assemblyman Jeff Miller prior to a committee hearing…in the hearing room…into a microphone…for all the world to hear.

Duvall talked about how the lobbyist he was hosing liked to be spanked and how much he was really getting into it, and her. Let me tell you, Congressman Wilson…

Those are some capitol dome sized balls. Joe, you need to be more like Mike “Balls To The Wall” Duvall.

Duvall resigned of course, but man, he went out on top…or perhaps bottom, or from behind. I’m not sure which position he and his ladies preferred, but you get my point.

C’mon Wilson, don’t be a fancy pants girly man. Don’t back off your accusation. Don’t wee wee into your corn flakes and cry into a camera saying that you need the support of others.

Your shriek of, “You Lie” struck a blow for every Birther, Death Panel believing, xenophobic voter in America.

Be a man about it. Be more like Mike Duvall. Or is that a problem for you?

Maybe you’re just a coward who wears pantyhose and hi-heels and thought calling the President a liar, was a good way to play on the irrational paranoia that has come to grip a significant portion of voters.

Maybe…You, unlike Mike Duvall, don’t even like women. So which is it, Joe?

Are you a Palmetto State pantywaist, or are you a man who stands firm in what he says?

No need to answer. I already know. But if you feel you must answer, don’t tell me it’s the latter, because if you do, I’ll have only one thing to say to you…

"You Lie!!"



Dianne said...

the press caught him at his office door and Wilson pretty much admitted that the Republican leadership told him to apologize - schmuck

I love the whole sex scandal in the OC - one more "family values" and "traditional marriage" hypocrite

as you know, I could care less about the sex - poor jerk looks like he needed to get some - I hate the fucking hypocrisy
although the irony is delicious

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Yeah I saw him outside of his office saying, "The moinorty leader made me apologize waaaaaa." What a wuss. Now Duvall on the other hand...

Unlike Sanford who said his mistress was his soul mate and he loved her blah blah blah...

Mr. Duvall was all about the hot sex, dirty talk, and spanking, and he made no boners about it.

I dig that. Here's to Mike, Baby.

Cheers Sexy!!

Michele said...

When Joe made his inappropriate shout out I thought two things. 1. South Carolinian's must be so proud of their politicians and their ability to pick complete idiots and 2. One has to keep in mind that these people are from South Carolina. The same state that tried or did succeed from the Union twice, wanted to succeed from the Confederacy when the Civil War was going badly and a host of other stupid moves. They have set an example of how inbreeding never works out well.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Maybe Palmetto Family Trees never fork. That could be one explanation. Then again maybe their great weather has dulled their senses to the point where they have no clue as to anything. Something's ging on down there. Cheers Michele!!

Michele said...

There should be a sign at their borders that says; "no diving in our gene pools"

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. Very Good. And some people think Librarians have no sense of humor. Cheers Michele!!

Jay said...

Right after Wilson's outburst I was hoping that Obama would paraphrase Andrew Jackson on them and say "I swear to God people, if one more South Carolina politician does something stupid, I will hang the first one I can get my hands on, from the nearest tree I can find."

Not that any of those slope heads know who Andrew Jackson was.

Also, Wilson could have tried the "I've long suffered in silence from Turrets Syndrome. It's not something I GODDAMMIT SONOFABITCH FUCKINGWHORE talk about often because I don't want SPANKTHATASS SPANKITBABY OOOOTHATFEELSGOOD to discuss private matters. I apologize for not taking my meds the night of the President's speech and LYINGMOTHERFUCKER FUCKINGILLEGALS DEATHPANELS KILLGRANDMA UPPITYNEGRO FUCKINGMUSLIM it won't happen again.

Something like that.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Unless Joe is a great actor I don't think he can pull off the Tourette's excuse. I've tried that excuse for years but people realize that I simply enjoy cussing and yelling at people at the drop of a hat. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

is it "pantywaist" or "pantywaste"?

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I guess that would depend on the size of the man inside those panties. Cheers Kat!!

David said...

I knew I would enjoy your discussion of the post.

As an update, I heard this morning that Duvall is saying none of it was true, he was simply making up stories. Plus now the guy beside him is on the hot seat for not reporting the matter to the ethics committee of which he is a member and his excuse so far is that he really wasn't listening to Duvall as he was too busy prepping for the meeting.

I would rather see them claim Tourette's Syndrome - it would be far more entertaining I'm sure.

katherine. said...

16 seconds left...thinking of you...can The Irish hold on?

katherine. said...


Matt-Man said...

David: Thanks for tipping me off last week. I would have something funny to say but eh...Not feeling funny, and no not because Notre Dame lost. Cheers David!!

Kat: As I posted the other day, Charlie has a croquet wicket defense. The offense looks good but other than that. Thanks anyway. Cheers!!