Monday, November 16, 2009

Megan Fox Naked!! Heidi Montag Naked!!

Another boring medical update from the Matt-Man…

I had a major setback yesterday. Half way through my shift yesterday, a new and painful experience reared its ugly head.

At about 3 in the afternoon the extreme upper part of my right lung, my throat, and my head up to ear level began to throb. Throb painfully.

Yes it was when I exerted myself, but unlike the typical feeling of being winded which will continue for a few weeks to come, the throbbing couldn’t be abated by sitting down for a minute or two.

While confined to that small area, it fricking hurt.

This episode really bummed me out for a couple of reasons.

Number one…I had to call Pizza Bill to come in and finish the last ninety minutes of my shift. Anyone who knows Pizza Bill knows that you shouldn’t bother him on Sundays during football season.

I truly believe that if I were anyone else, he would have told me to go fuck myself and/or kicked my ass. But, he was very good about it, and closed for me, and I thank him for that.

Number two…I worked five hours Friday night, and by God even at the end of my shift I felt GOOD. Drive-By Mikey came in towards close and we cut up for a few. It felt great to laugh and feel human again.

Saturday I felt really good as well. Didn’t have to take a nap during the day for once... I just relaxed and watched college football and listened to music with Schmoop. Once again, I felt GOOD.

Sunday started off fine, even while I worked, and then out of the blue…BLAMMO. This inexplicable throbbing began, and wouldn’t stop.

I put a call into my Lung Doctor when I got home last night, but as yet, I have yet to hear from him. Between him not rushing to call me back and the pain subsiding when I lay down, I am assuming it is not life threatening.

So there you have it. The trials and tribulations of Matt and his lung. I thank you for your time.

Oh…what does the title of this post have to do with anything, you ask?

As my posts have been sporadic during my hospital stay and my recuperation, my traffic numbers have been slowly slipping.

I know that using the above title and posting the following pictures will breathe some life into my sagging numbers, even if Megan Fox and Heidi Montag are not truly naked…



Micky-T said...

Way close enough on the *bottom* picture.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...scantilly clad beats naked any time...

Matt-Man said...

Micky: She's got no talent but does it really matter? Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie: I whole-heartedly agree. Scantily dressed is a MUCH bigger turn-on. Cheers P-Man!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Damn, brother, sorry to hear of this new development. All I can offer is what I’m sure you’ve heard 3 thousand times already. Drink a ton of fluids, try not to smoke (too much), keep the air humidified, and maybe try an ibuprofen for tissue swelling?

I feel ya on the slipping numbers. I’ve been investing more time in writing for profit, and less on entertainment. These things come and go, just get better….

Matt-Man said...

Scott: I'm doing all of those things, and yet for some reason this episode came about. It's a bit better today, at least it passes when I sit now.

On the writing...I haven't been able to write much of late for fun OR profit. Oy!! Cheers Scott!!

David said...

I wish I had a magic potion or a miracle cure pill that I could send to you.

I do visit your site regularly - that counts right? (pun intended) hehe

Michele said...

Sorry to hear about the set back. Somewhere it is written that if you haven't got your health you haven't got anything. So get some rest.

Matt-Man said...

David: A potion would be great. If you come across one, pass it along. Cheers David!!

Michele: Ha. Words to live by indeed. Cheers Michele!!

Doc said...

Lay off the smokes... but not the smoking hot babes.

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Unfortunately it's been both. I haven't had an erection in a month!! Cheers Doc!!

Bond said...

WAIT??? You are smoking? You went that whole week in the hospital without smoking and that did not begin your road to clean lungs?

That is where you made your mistake...

F the numbers dude...get healthy...sheesh you ain't getting any numbers if you can't post cause you be dead.

Jay said...

Typical that the numbers go down a bit when you get sick and can't make it around to everyone's blog. Damn selfish bastards.

Pics of Heidi Montag are okay, I guess. But, she always has to start talking and ruin everything with her stupidness.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I smoke a handful of Ultra Lights a day. It's better than smoking two packs of Basic Full Flavors per day. If you saw what I spit up when I cough you would see just how damn crystal clear my discharges are. Haven't seen that in 20 years. Cheers Vin!!

Jay: Eh, mainly my numbers are down because I haven't had much in the way of search engine worthy posts.

As for Montag, I feel like that about many hot celebrity babes. They are picture perfect and then...They Speak. Cheers Jay!!

Bond said...

Dude - down to a handful - try the lozenges Commit...they really work well...

down to a handful means you are ready to go without in total

Dianne said...

given her position I assume heidi was talking out of her ass again

sorry you had that setback Matty, it sucks when you start to feel human as you put it and then something hurts

I will confess that the thought of any part of you throbbing does sound sexy

love ya Lung Boy

Lu' said...

That last picture doesn't have to be nekkid it still says "come here and do me, anyone" HA! :)

Dianne hee hee hee.

Sorry for owie Bud' Here's hoping...

People in the Sun said...

I've been staring at the Megan Fox and Heidi Montag videos below for 6 hours and they're still not taking their clothes off!

Marsha said...

Sorry to hear about your lung hurting. It sounds like you still have infection or something...not that I'm a doctor. I don't even play one.

Thank you for not making me look at naked women. I was almost afraid to click. LOL.

Four Dinners said...

In the nicest possible way old bean, you blog for you.

Not for 'them' or 'me' or anyone else.

You blog for you.

Traffic is irrelevent.

Blogging is a way of chatting to anyone in the world who wants to chat.

They do great. They don't who cares?

I visit blogs where nobody else seems to. No idea why. Sometimes they stop cause nobody goes there. They shouldn't. It should be for them.

I have a few 'followers' and 'regular' readers. If they quit I'd worry about em cause I'd want to know they were ok but I'd blog if nobody turned up.

I blog for me. It's my blog. Turn up you're welcome, don't turn up and WTF?

Just blog for you and those of us who give a shit will wander by and say "Hi" and even care about a total stranger who writes his stuff and we read it.

...cause we want to.

Blog for you. Not for anyone else.

Take care old bean.


Jeff B said...

Shameless self promotion at its finest!

I like it

Not having written anything in nearly a month, I wonder if anyone will make it by my site when I get off my ass and post again.

Starrlight said...

You need to call that doctor back and pronto.

metalmom said...

Numbers? Really? Stop sweatin' it, big guy! Everyone has been slacking...on the reading, commenting and posting. It must be something in the water, but you know it tends to do that periodically and it will pick up again.

Just take care of yourself and get better!!!

Clay Perry said...

thats the ass kicker with this sickness.. my wife did the same thing. she felt pretty good, then over did it without realizing it.. just dont move much. take care matt.. & take it easy!

Marilyn said...

Glad you're feeling better. You need to change your titles a bit if you want to up your female readership.

Mike said...

Very small world. I follow a news story from google on Heidi Montag. Not a good story but enough to follow up on. I put Heidi Montag
in google and do a search. Hey there's a nice picture. Click on the picture and who's site do I wind up on? Matt-mans from Jay's blog!

Maybe we're running the internet and don't realize it.

Buy Viagra said...

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and find something like this, reminds me of that ''How to make a dinner for a romantic...'' by Elsa Thomas,
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