Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving: Breaking Tradition

The holiday season kicks off tomorrow with Thanksgiving, and guess what?

I’m working!! Eh, it’s no big deal. I asked Little Bill if I could work four of his hours at the Beer Mine on Thanksgiving and he said, “sure.” At least I think he did; the little fucker mumbles. Anyhoo…

I need extra hours and it’s only 10 A.M. until 2 P.M., so what the hell?

Does this impinge on the celebration for my BFF/OSP, Schmoop and I? Noooooo.

We had already decided that this year between my deflated lung and ever inflating bills (made even more buoyant by my spa stay at the hospital) that we would be subdued.

No perfectly cooked turkey or scalloped corn cooked by moi. And, no undercooked (yet adorable) green bean casserole and burnt (albeit sexy) rolls ala Schmoop.

So, when I get done working at 2 on Thanksgiving, I am going to pick up either pizza, Taco Bell, or some other deliciously greasy fast food and tote it home to my uber-hot Indian Maiden.

We’ll have a few drinks, watch some football, and talk about nothing.

There won’t be a traditional feast, but we’ll be feasting on food we love. There won’t be a seasonally adorned dinner table. Instead, she’ll eat while laying on the floor and I on the couch.

Corky will conduct her typical sniffing of our food prior to going to sleep in the chair after she finds that what we are eating is not chicken, so it doesn’t suit her “sophisticated palate.”

(The same “sophisticated” palate that has no problem tasting her own butt or hoo-ha during her frequent bathing.)

Schmoop will call her mom. I will probably call some family, and then as darkness sets in, we will both turn in for the night.

Sounds mundane, no? I don’t know…

While there is no extravagant culinary experience, there is food. We have a warm, safe place to lay our heads so there is no fear of the darkness.

Most importantly, while our guest list consists of only Schmoop and I, we are far from being alone.

And really, other than those simple things what more is there to be thankful for? Not much.

Okay, some sex would be good, but well…I’m still injured.

Cheers!!

23 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

We are having pizza at our Friday Thanksgiving. My grandma has her dinner on Friday so that we all don't have to squeeze in all our families on the same day and this year she wanted to order pizzas instead of her traditional meal. While I will miss her delicious food I do love pizza!

Let us know what you feasted on, and happy Thanksgiving!

Scott Oglesby said...

That sounds exactly like what I plan to do. Enjoy!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: That sounds good. No matter what da it may be, what's not to like about pizza? Have fun at Grandma's. Cheers D!!

Scott: And how can ya go wrong doing just that? Have a wunnerful day funny man. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

That sounds like a perfect day to me! I love it!! I'll even make the bed on the floor again!! Whoo Hoo!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Indeed. Maybe if I'm feeling well enough, we can dress up play Lewis Merriwether and Sock-It-Me-Uh. I'll explore your vast natural resources. Cheers and Zoooooves!!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...hell, you can get a whole turkey for less than many a pizza...but I did catch your vibe and it sounds like a wunnerful holiday...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Yeah I know, and I've thought about that, but who wants to start cooking at 2 P.M.? And you're right...

We'll just sit and eat stuff made by someone else, relax, and throw some tunes on. This year, it IS all about the comfortable, laid back vibe. Cheers P-Man!!

Michele said...

I'll be cooking enough for all of us. Just in very small quantities. This is our first year without kids in the house. Feels very strange already.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Well, enjoy you two. And no kids in the house this year? I foresee pilgrim sex in your future. Cheers Michele!!

Micky-T said...

Have a great tradition breaker. Sounds like good plan, to just be thankful.

David said...

Sounds fine to me. Enjoy the day - I'm thankful I've found your blog. So there's that.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Damn Straight. No matter our current situation we have far more than most people in this world. I don't say that gloatingly; I say it in order to put things into perspective. Cheers Mick!!

David: Well thank ya very much David. I'm glad you continue to stop by. Cheers to ya!!

Desert Rat said...

Huh! Don't know where my first comment got off to. I'll try this again.

I love it! Thanksgiving is about being Thankful, after all, not the food-fest that it has become. You go, boy!

I hope you and your Love have a Wonderful Holiday and Everyday. Big Hug to you both!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Right back atcha Schweethaaart. Hope you're feeling better and that you make it through the root canal. If they give you vicodin, send it to me...I like Vicodin...pleeeeze?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and Da Man. Cheers Rat!!

Jay said...

What? You're not having a HUGE Thanksgiving feast of turkey and all the trimmings? Why do you hate America so much Matt-Man? LOL ;-)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and Schmoopalicious.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha. Actually my actions will be infusing much needed dollars into the ailing U.S. economy and will help to keep a pimpled faced kid employed. Other than going state to state on a bus and selling an autobiography full of nonsense and incoherent babble, what is more American than that?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, Jay. Cheers!!

Bond said...

As Phfrankie pointed out...we bought a 16 pound turkey for $6.00 the other day...Not cooking it tomorrow..we will cook the sucker in January or February

Be thankful and enjoy yourselves...

Clay Perry said...

sounds like a good day to me... holy shit, schmoop's hot... happy thanksgiving matt! get better & enjoy all that is around you!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: As I said to P-Man, it ain't all about the money. Ordering pizza out is not something we do very often. It's a Celebration. Cheers Vin!!

Clay: You guys enjoy yourselves as well. All the best to ya, Clay.

And yeah, Schmoop is pretty damn hot, but please don't say that again, my ego hates competition. Cheers!!

MysteryChick said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and the lovely Shmoop.

It's not what you eat it's who you eat with that matters most.

Jeff B said...

Sounds like you have your priorities in line to me. Being with your baby trumps any type of traditional feast on the table.

Happy Thanksgiving Dude!

Dana said...

I'm breaking tradition this year too and spending the holiday with people who care about Cam and me ...

Too bad that rules out spending the day with husband! Oops! Let me step down off my high horse ... or not ... the view is nice from here!

Enjoy your day and know that I am very thankful for you and Schmoop!

Matt-Man said...

Mystery: Well said. A happy day to you Chick. Cheers!!

Jeff: Same to you and your wonderful family, Jeff. Cheers my good man!!

Dana: A wish for a wonderful day for you and the Cam. And don't forget...A WIR Vlog should be on your agenda. Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers Dana!!