Monday, December 21, 2009

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer? Hardly. Here's What Really Happened...

On this shortest day of the year, and due to the fact that I work early this afternoon, I offer you a brief song.

It is a 2 minute and 3 second piece of musical Christmas joy that I wrote and recorded some two years ago.

Ladies and Gentlemen…

Grandpa Got His Herpes From a Reindeer

Grandpa got his herpes from a reindeer
Coming home last year on Christmas Day
Please don’t be too hard on poor old Grandpa
The reindeer got him drunk, and had her way

I guess there was at least one witness
Who saw the carnage, and the grief
Said, there were hooves and arms a’flyin’
And Grandpa, eating venison without his teeth

He said it soon became a three way
As the deer she got on top
She was a grindin’ on Grandpa’s Yule log
While her tongue was makin’ love to a big salt block

Grandpa got his herpes from a reindeer
Coming home last year on Christmas Day
Please don’t be too hard on poor old Grandpa
The reindeer got him drunk, and had her way

And now the worst part of the story
Grandma’s drowning in her tears
‘Cause this year at our holiday table
Sits a yearling with doe-y eyes and Grandpa’s ears

Grandpa got his herpes from a reindeer
Coming home last year on Christmas Day
Please don’t be too hard on poor old Grandpa
The reindeer got him drunk, and had her way


I hope you all have a lovely Monday. I have one more Bagwine Christmas Classic left and by golly I may re-record just for all y’all and put it up by Wednesday.

Until then…

Cheers!!

20 comments:

Jay said...

The only Christmas music I listen to is Dean Martin and Matt-Man's parodies.

That's pretty damn funny stuff right there. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Obvioulsy, you are a man of impeccable taste. Cheers Jay-Man!!

David said...

You are one creative "summa bitch".

Grandpa was lucky that his horny deer didn't have a strap-on - or bring her studmuffin for that 3-way. Since he was drunk he might have gotten violated.

Micky-T said...

Good stuff Matt-Man!
You really should put it all together in a CD.

Matt-Man said...

David: Why thanks. Maybe I should contact the network execs at Animal Planet and see if they want to make a movie based on the song. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I know, I know, and thanks. I need a band, man, I need a band. Cheers Mick!!

Michele said...

Bahahahahah! JR will have to see this.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Hee Hee. Let me know what he thinks. Cheers Michele!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I've been concidering getting a salt lick for the house...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: The deer and other quadri-peds of that ilk will be so thankful. You are such a kind soul.

Wait a minute... You're not hoping to get animal porn out of this, are you?

Cheers P-Man!!

Dianne said...

f'ing fantastic you brilliant bastard

love the yearling part!!

Doc said...

Ahhh yes an oldie but goodie! I had forgotten this one Matt-Man thanks for jarring my memory!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Mmmmmmm. You know just what to say to make me weak in the kness. Love the yearling line. Cheers Sexy!!

Doc: It's my fave X-Mas song that I did, but Wednesday's post will have what seems to be the most popular X-Mas song that I did. Thanks Doc, and Cheers!!

Bond said...

always funny

Matt-Man said...

Bod: Grandpa didn't think so...Well, for as much as he remembered. Cheers!!

Bond said...

See...your desire for me is showing...you called me Bod...you dream of me , don't cha?

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Since it's Christmas, I'll let your comment stand on its own. Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...Bond and Matt-Man sittin' in a tree...

Jeff B said...

That brought a tear to my eye.

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: You are so adorable...or something. Cheers P-Man!!

Jeff: It is a bittersweet tune isn't it? Cheers and Here, Have a Hankie!!