Monday, December 14, 2009

It's a Hemingway Kind of Day

There is absolutely nothing going on in the news that hasn’t already been covered to death.

Sunday night I was trying to find something new to write about for today before I get back into the Bagwine Holiday theme, but damn…

Nothing.

Tiger Woods now has naked photos of him and his hardware floating around somewhere and stories of his implosion continue, but eh, I’m bored with Tiger-Gate. It reads like a Hemingway novel.

“Tiger finds a new hot chick. He sticks his dick in her. It feels good. Elin cries.”

--Ernest Hemingway, “For Whom the 24/7 Cable News Networks Toll”

I could write further about the Health Care debate. Ha Ha Ha. Oh Baby, now there’s a real pick me up laugh riot for a Monday morning. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

How about Afghanistan? Ummmmm, no. Not a whole lot of humor in that one either; on top of that, the subject matter is once again reminiscent of Hemingway.

I guess I could discuss the highlights of the weekend Schmoop and I had, but if you read yesterday’s post you already know it was when we talked to Jay.

Well, that, and the Hamburger Helper we had Saturday night. Great Googly Moogly it was good. There a handful of things both Schmoop and I wouldn’t mind if we had to eat everyday, and Hamburger Helper is one of them.

Scoff if you will, you food snobs out there…we love it.

I checked the news again as I am typing this. Still nothing exciting.


If only it was found out that Tiger also had sex with a man or some deaf chick confined to a wheelchair. That would re-pique my interest, but alas…

Oh well, I guess I’ll just call it a post and resume the Christmas, Muslim New Year, and Kwanzaa crap tomorrow.

I guess even stupidity in the news takes a day off sometimes, and this happens to be one of those times.

C’mon America…Don’t let my faith in your ability to do wacky and senseless things wane. Get your stupid on.

Cheers!!

19 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

I love Hamburger Helper, too. Cheesy Hashbrown is the BEST!

Jeff B said...

A bit of stupid that came from the Pacific Northwest this past Friday... A sixth grader did in fact stick his tongue to a frozen flag pole at school. Paramedics were called and saved the day by...yes you guessed it, pouring warm water on the retards tongue.

Don't worry my friend, reverse evolution is alive and well.

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Damn Right. And in fact, the Cheesy Hashbrown one is on deck and in our cabinet. Cheers D!!

Jeff: Ha. Yeah, I saw a report on that. What some kids will do to get on TV. Hell, maybe I'll try that. Cheers Jeff!!

Four Dinners said...

Got a good'n over here in England.

A 98 year old woman has been arrested for the killing of her 100 year old room mate in their care home.

Apparently they had an argument over who got the bed by the window.

Not sure life imprisonment will make much difference eh?....;-)

Matt-Man said...

Four: Ha. Good one. It would have certainly been a battle for the centuries. Cheers FD!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...well I AM a food snob...I won't eat my Hamburger Helper without a chilled glass of Boone's Farm Blue Hawaiian!...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Boone's Farm? I understand it's a Bagwine but it ain't got no Bitch in it. You are a man who needs an 18% alcohol wine like Wild Irish Rose. It complements HH so damn well. And, if you enjoy Tuna Helper like I do, WIR also makes a white. Cheers P-Man!!

Micky-T said...

I think I'd like Salmon Helper, do they make that?

Or maybe Flounder Helper?

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I'm with ya, (except for the Salmon Helper, My mom made far too many salmon patties during Lent when I was a kid) but no, they don't. I could really enjoy Lake Erie Perch Helper or Walleye Helper. Cheers Mick!!

Michele said...

Don't give up hope Americans can be uncannily stupid. It's a gift.

Michele said...

I forgot; I like Hamburger Helper as well as the next person only I don't make mine from the box (too much sodium) and it is more like tofu helper. Still yummy!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: You're right; it is a gift. And, fortunately it's Christmas time, so I am sure someone will deliver. Cheers Michele!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele; Ha. Of course you do. I make Hamburger Helper on my own often and it is typically MUCH better than any boxed version. Of course, mine has plenty of meat rather than tofu in it. Cheers!!

Jay said...

If it's a Hemingway kind of a day does that mean that we should sit around and drink ourselves into a stupor to drown our bitterness and anger over our shitty lives? Cause, I'm totally in. haha ;-)

Dana said...

We had Cheesy Ranch Burger Hamburger Helper last night. That was a new flavor for us, but I thought it was pretty darn good!

Did you know they make Asian Helper® Flavors? I'll let you have fun with that one!

Doc said...

As Brother Jimmy Buffett says..."Weve got a lot to drink about"

Dianne said...

I love Hamburger Helper, I just wish it didn't require so much preparation ;)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I plan on doing that while I'm at work, and then taking it out on the customers. Cheers Jay!!

Dana: Cheesy Ranch, eh? I don't think we've had that one. Asian Helper calls for ground dog to be used I bet. Cheers Dana!!

Doc: I drink more when I'm amused so the lack of stupididty is harshing my buzz. Cheers Doc!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Now dig it...Sometimes I go an extra step.

After it's all ready to go, I make a cracker and cheese topping for it and bake it. Yeah, I'm that good. Cheers Sexy!!