Lent 2010: Pizza de Résistance

Now dig it, folks…Six weeks from today Lent begins with Ash Wednesday on February 17th.

As some of you longtime Bagwine Heads know, for the past three Lenten seasons I have given up meat during the 46 day run between Ash Wednesday and the resurrection of Jeebus on Easter morning.

For those six weeks during the last three years, I have not allowed the greasy goodness of meat touch my lips. No bacon, no sausage, no burgers, no pizza with pepperoni. No meat…period.

Well…This Lent, I will not being doing that (sorry Michele). For me, giving up meat during Lent is no longer a challenge…no longer a significant sacrifice.

Hell, in some ways I look forward to the meatless, pre-cross nailing weeks so I can see what types of wacky recipes I can come up with sans meat. I must demand more from myself this Lenten season.

So…

I have decided that this year, beginning on Ash Wednesday and until Easter Morning, I will not allow bread nor pasta to pass my incredibly sexy lips.

There will be no macaroni and cheese for me. There will be no Hamburger Helper aiding my craving. There will be no rolls, toast, chips, spaghetti, or pizza. Pizza, Folks!!

Praise Jeebus, and may he give me the strength to accomplish such a sacrificial and gastronomic feat!!

Bread, noodles, and other pasta type things show up in so many things I enjoy. Chicken Noodle Soup, Grilled Cheese, stuffing, and of course, burgers…and Pizza!!

But you say…

“Well Hell, Matt-Man, at least you’ll continue to eat meat this Lent. Could it really be that bad, ya big pussy?”

Oh sure I can eat meat, but is a hot dog the same when not in the form of these delicious Pigs in a Blanket that I made?

Nothing like a brat or Italian Sausage with mustard and kraut, but without a juice soaked New England Split Top bun does it taste as sweet?

My Loosemeat Sandwiches are famous, but without a greasy bun holding it all together they are but a jiggly mess of meat going unmentioned in the annals of Culinarydom.

This breadless trek will be sure to test my character, my faith, and my ability to go six weeks without eating Pizza. Pizza, Folks!!

But…There you have it. My Lenten sacrifice for 2010. We will of course address this again when the day draws nigh, but in the meantime…

Would you say a prayer for me in order to soften the fertile sacramental soil prior to my feet setting upon it and into the cold, barren wilderness of a life without bread and pasta…and Pizza!!

I thank you, and may the light of Jeebus shine down upon you.

Cheers!!

It's a Hemingway Kind of Day

There is absolutely nothing going on in the news that hasn’t already been covered to death.

Sunday night I was trying to find something new to write about for today before I get back into the Bagwine Holiday theme, but damn…

Nothing.

Tiger Woods now has naked photos of him and his hardware floating around somewhere and stories of his implosion continue, but eh, I’m bored with Tiger-Gate. It reads like a Hemingway novel.

“Tiger finds a new hot chick. He sticks his dick in her. It feels good. Elin cries.”

--Ernest Hemingway, “For Whom the 24/7 Cable News Networks Toll”

I could write further about the Health Care debate. Ha Ha Ha. Oh Baby, now there’s a real pick me up laugh riot for a Monday morning. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

How about Afghanistan? Ummmmm, no. Not a whole lot of humor in that one either; on top of that, the subject matter is once again reminiscent of Hemingway.

I guess I could discuss the highlights of the weekend Schmoop and I had, but if you read yesterday’s post you already know it was when we talked to Jay.

Well, that, and the Hamburger Helper we had Saturday night. Great Googly Moogly it was good. There a handful of things both Schmoop and I wouldn’t mind if we had to eat everyday, and Hamburger Helper is one of them.

Scoff if you will, you food snobs out there…we love it.

I checked the news again as I am typing this. Still nothing exciting.

If only it was found out that Tiger also had sex with a man or some deaf chick confined to a wheelchair. That would re-pique my interest, but alas…

Oh well, I guess I’ll just call it a post and resume the Christmas, Muslim New Year, and Kwanzaa crap tomorrow.

I guess even stupidity in the news takes a day off sometimes, and this happens to be one of those times.

C’mon America…Don’t let my faith in your ability to do wacky and senseless things wane. Get your stupid on.

Cheers!!